Fob Came for lo this morning and I'm struggling

[jaytee146]

I know fob as move on and more power to him, she is living with him and this morning, I tried my best to be up beat for lo, showered her with kisses and told her I would see her soon.

I have no idea where m daughter is right now, or where fob lives for that matter. He won't show me, and this "girlfriend" who's around my child right now I have no idea who is she, what she looks like or anything. My mind is racing to if something happens I won't have any clue on where to look for lo, or this lady could be saying or doing anything to my child.

the few times he has watched her they have been at his aunts and the way he's talking they won't be there. He usually calls me and asks where lo is with me but I can't get him to answer my messages or calls I WANT MY BABY!

 

[Ceejay123]

I personally think that's awful. He should give you his address, and you should have the right to meet this woman before she's introduced to your child! Are you okay?

 

[jaytee146]

ceejay, I feel like someone took my air, I know he's doing this on purpose. That's just the kinda guy he is. He probably sees this as some sort of pay back for him calling me (he calls 3 or 4 times a day) and sometimes I don't answer. He promised he wouldn't take her there.... Promises mean nothing to him and that PISSES ME OFF!

 

[Ceejay123]

Ah babe, you definitely should know his address. I can't believe he's introduced your child to his girlfriend before introducing you, that's so unfair. Have you actually asked to meet her? I don't know what to suggest to you sweetie, it sounds so petty of him x

 

[jaytee146]

I have asked on several occassions, I have now sought a lawyer, and I am gonna get on paper what custody aggrement we are gonna have, I tried my best to work with him and his schedule, but if he is gonna play this tit for tat stuff with me.. I'm gonna be the B**** he says I am.

I informed my mom and her response was well... he has a right to be with his child. She is saying I'm over reacting, and that she thinks it's a total waste of money to push for a custody agreement. Like I told her I am not gonna be disrespected, and that's what I consider this as.. so whatever!

 

[SilasLove]

You deserve the right to know where your child is at all times! You are definitely not overreacting.

For him to expect you to answer his calls, messages and questions and not return the sentiment is plain WRONG. Where does he get off?

Personally I HATE when parents are with other people and try to come off with its not the other parents business to know/meet them. Please! You have to know who is around your child!

Gosh girl, I am infuriated by your FOB's behavior! I think you are completely justified in getting a lawyer and a custody agreement arranged. Cover your butt, better safe than sorry.

Yes he deserves to have time with his child, but you also deserve respect from the father of your child.

 

[Ceejay123]

Yes he deserves time with his child... but you deserve to know where she is too.

IMO - The father should know the mothers address, the mother should know the fathers.

All partners should be introduced to the other parent first too. Its just right! Grrr.

 

[tallybee]

I totally agree with the others, he's not being reasonable at all! You should be able to know where your LO is and who with, I hope that things can get sorted.

xx

 

[jaytee146]

she was returned to me Friday Evening, with a temp of 102.4, He waviered on saying he had NOT checked it the entire day, and then turned around and said he did. He then told me that he was taking her to his home but something happened and he turned around. He also told me that he took lo to the doctor without my permission and her temperature was fine, he wanted to get a "second opionion to the doctor I have for lo" after that he started calling and messaging me saying I love you guys so much... I know I've been a lowsy father but I decided I was gonna do better with her, and he wanted to come for a visit at 2 in the FREAKING MORNING! I hung up the phone! O did I mention lo got in to a minor accident as well? She has a cut starting at the top of her thumb to almost the palm of her hand.. after asking several times without a clear answer he then tells me it could have been lo on at tricycle with no handles and she coulda did it that way!

He showed up with his mom, and they told me they weaned her off of milk... she only took 3 ounces out of her bottle... they also wanted to mention that she cried with all his relatives except him... UGH DUHHHH!! She's only seen you not even handful of times! Seriously GET OVER YOURSELF! Because you share the same DNA it doesn't mean that she's gonna bond to your and you **** Brothers!

I have considered it several times,and even my mom and a few friends are telling me it's a waste of money to formally take him to court. That I could use that money for something else. I just feel like I need to do something to show him I'm serious, and that this disrespect isn't gonna be tolerated!

 

[SilasLove]

That is just too much.

Why was she on a tricycle with no handlebars? Ridiculous!

Bringing her back sick? Insinuating that you cannot choose a proper physician? Seriously? Also, what is up with that booty call? I mean, it's 2 AM, what else would it be?

I think you should get a lawyer, let him know that you mean business.

How often does he visit/take LO?

 

[Ceejay123]

Oh Honey... Are you not entitled to legal aid? x

 

[jaytee146]

I actually make a few hundred more that makes me not qualify me to get legal aid assistance, so I'm looking at finding someone what would possibly accept payments from me on good faith.

I'm disqualified where i live because they cound the support he's suppose to be paying as income, even though he hasn't paid his full obligation in months now. I can count on my hand the number of times in 17 months he's actually made a full payment to his support

 

[jaytee146]

That is just too much.

Why was she on a tricycle with no handlebars? Ridiculous!

Bringing her back sick? Insinuating that you cannot choose a proper physician? Seriously? Also, what is up with that booty call? I mean, it's 2 AM, what else would it be?

I think you should get a lawyer, let him know that you mean business.

How often does he visit/take LO?

When he felt he had a shot with me he would visit alot, but after I made it clear that our only tie is to our child he stopped coming around. At this point he's only down to one visit a week if that. He generally ask if I'm cooking and If I say yes he'll come by for a little while, if I say no he won't come only call to talk to lo... I always tell him I'm not cooking and to piss off so he will stop asking.

and as for the booty call.. I thought breifly that it could work between us, and for a little while we were physically involved. I got into a bind and reached out for his help and he left... after that I cut all physical ties... Not to say i don't think about dtd with him but I feel it's only because I'm sometimes lonely and bored... not because of anything else... so what's the use of putting myself through all that when I know it's gonna lead to a road of nothingness

 

[creatingpeace]

What a total disrespectful ass. Has he completely changed since you were with him or is he a historical asshole?

You DMAN well need to know where she is at all times. Do you feel comfortable telling him he cannot have her uuntil you have his address? Or do you think that will cause more problems?

 

[fairydust87]

Two words: Contact centre. Your good letting him take her. I wouldnt x

 

[jocelynmarie]

You definitely want it legal. I tried going the civil right with my son's sperm donor as well, and then he tried to use child support as control over me.

So, I said that if he thought supporting his child was a weapon, then he could see my son when he had a legal right to. It took him damn near 6 months to do so, and not until after he had found out that I met someone.

Dealing with an ex is hell. Absolute hell. I'm sorry that he is putting you through so much

 

[ravenmel]

My ex tried this not giving me his address crap before and I refused to hand over baby. I'm not playing those games with my baby. He can have access but no giving an address is immature and him trying to take control away from you, which is completely ridiculous because but for the fact that your child is going there you wouldn't give a rats behind where he lived.

As for this new girlfriend you have to trust his judgement I'm awful as you wouldn't want him coming and laying down the law or making demands if you had a new partner, works both ways. But I can see that when you do get a new man he'll be all up in your business