FOB

[ReRe]

hes got intouch by email not herd from him for ages.
he says he wants to be part of the lo life but i know this is petty why shud he just have it handed to him on a plate hes not shown any kind of interest up till now and only cause i sent a email asking about csa

 

[jen1604]

Sorry I don't know what to say,I'm one of those mummys who is in favour of FOB having as much contact as possible but I am sure you will work it out for the best honey

 

[ReRe]

thanks am just so lost hes the kind of person that only does it cause he doesnt want people to think badly of him it annoys me so much its took for me to ask for csa for him to want to x

 

[lou_w34]

I know how you feel, FOB was frequently in and out of my life during pregnancy, one minute he didnt want to no, the next he wanted to be apart of LO's life... It does seem very unfair that they can just swan in and out without so much as a backwards glance, just because they donated a bit of sperm.

I am all for dads having as much access to LO's as they can, but when they take they piss like this and play the 'its their right card' i have to try hard not to hit something!

Anyways, as i was saying, chances are, if he is like this now, he may be like it when LO is actually born. I would tell him straight, he is either in, or out, and he will get no second chances.

I wish i did that in the beginning, it would have saved alot of effort trying to force him to see his daughter when he obviously didnt want too (its been a year now since he last saw her) But like your fob he kept comming in and out of our lifes.

Sorry i went off on one there!!

 

[ReRe]

He just makes everything about him too in my email back to him i told him he needs to stop behaving like a little boy and start behaving fartherly!
He just takes the utter piss he can trample over me all he wants but not my son hes always playing the its my right card to u hit the nail on the head there.
Oh he knows how to anger me lol
thanks for listening lol
x

 

[lou_w34]

They always no what buttons to push unfortunatley!
The trick is too not let it bother you too much... easier said than done though!!
What i wish id have done is made him make some kind of commitment before hand to prove he wanted to be in LO's life.
Has you FOB contributed to anything? If he hasnt, that may be a good place to start, tell him if he wants to act like a father and be apart of LO's life he can start to contribute financially aswell... see what he says to that. (Thats of course if he hasnt, im just assuming he hasnt because you said you havent heard from him in a while.)

Oh and they always seem to make everything about them, im sure they do it to be purposefully annoying!!

xx

 

[ReRe]

me too i think he just gets bored and thinks am gnna annoy her lol.
No i got intouch to ask about csa and thats the first time hes asked about his kid which is what has dissappointed me so much just kinda makes me think hes gnna end up coming and going as he wishes

 

[lou_w34]

me too i think he just gets bored and thinks am gnna annoy her lol.
No i got intouch to ask about csa and thats the first time hes asked about his kid which is what has dissappointed me so much just kinda makes me think hes gnna end up coming and going as he wishes

All i can say to that is dont let him!
I wasted a whole year of my life waiting for FOB to get his act together, and it is not worth the effort, if they dont want to be involved dont make them, at the end of the day it will be his loss.

If he tries to go in and out of your lifes, tell him you wont be replying to any contact he makes with you untill commitment has been shown!

And i get the boredom thing, i think thats what FOB use to do, he didnt have anything else to do so thought he would irritate me!

xx

 

[ReRe]

thanks for the advice its really appreciated .
a dunno wether to let him have a chance and if he messes up once that be that i just think that its not coming from the heart that he wants to be part of his life a mean he hasnt been here right through the pregnancy x

 

[lou_w34]

Why dont you say ok to him, and then ask him a question like, "i was going to go and look at prams on monday, just to get an idea of the prices, would you like to go halfs with me?" Surley if it is comming from the heart he will want to help you out with all the costs.

But if he does fluff it up, i wouldnt be contacting him unless it was to let him know LO has been born!

This is all just from my experiance though, and what i would do differently if i had the chance! Dont feel you have to do any of it! haha

xx

 

[ReRe]

that sounds like a good idea a mean i have pretty much bought everything but theres still the cot left
x