For those of us that have no choice but to go back to work.

[Wugz22]

I want to be home with my babies. I'm back to work for the second day after a short 10 week maternity leave and its harder today than it was yesterday. This sucks, I want to be with my babies. I called my daycare provider to check up on my little one and I could hear her crying in the background. She misses me. She loves to nurse and hates taking a bottle. It just seems so unnatural to be away from her so young. I hate every second of this.

 

[shinona]

You poor thing. It's so hard to leave them, isn't it? And 10 weeks is such a short time, you have my sympathies. I'm sure your wee one will settle soon and you'll get a bit more used to it all. Just think of those cuddles and snuggles when you do see her at the end of the day xx

 

[Cattia]

I feel your pain. I am going back in 4 weeks and I am totally dreading it. I am lucky to have had seven months off, and I am going back 4 days a week, but they are 4 long days so on those days I won't really see the kids at all. This is my third baby and I think this is the hardest yet. I have realised being on maternity leave this time, how much in benefits my older two to have me there for the school run and the time after school, just to support them and talk about their day. I am desperately trying to think of a way that I can work in a more flexible job so that I can be there for them more. I really resent having to go back to work. I am the main earner in our family and I find myself resenting DH as well because if he earned more I would have to work less. I know that's really selfish of me, I just can't help feeling that way.

 

[Itsychik]

My heart goes out to you.

Lots of my friends had had babies before I had my first, and they were all ranting about how ready they were to go back to work by the time their maternity leave ended (where I live you get 4 weeks off before due date, and 12 weeks after birth). So when my DS was born I just assumed I'd feel the same and didn't even consider taking additional time off (I'm also from the U.S. and am living in the Netherlands, so the idea of having a 16-week maternity leave seemed amazing at the time). But I cried and cried when I had to leave my tiny little baby behind at the daycare, and I wasn't ready at all to go back (I'm also the main earner and I work full time).

When I had my second baby I took off a total of 6 months, but even then I was soooooooooooooo not ready to go back. And my DD had been refusing bottles up until a few weeks before I had to go back to work so I was totally panicked about her 'starving' while I was gone.

It's such a hard choice to make, and the only thing I can say is that it gets easier with time. I know that doesn't help though, but you're not alone

 

[lcmorla]

Wow, that's a short maternity leave! That sucks, I'm sorry. I quit my job one week before my due date. They were only going to give me 6 weeks!

Although I'm totally grateful that I get to stay home and raise my daughter, I miss working--from interacting with adults to having my own money! Ahh!

The grass is always greener on the other side!

 

[SarahBear]

It's hard, but you will both adjust. It is unnatural, but people are adaptable. Your daughter will adapt. Just know that you will get through it and your daughter can still grow up to be happy, healthy, and well adjusted. I went back to work after my first was 8 weeks old and I went back when my second was 10 weeks old. In the US, you only get up to 12 weeks unpaid... My situation is a little different because my husband is a stay at home parent, so at least my babies were still with a parent. Do you bedshare or have you ever considered it? It's a nice way to get extra bonding time, especially if you nurse.

 

[george83]

I hated it when I went back after both ds1 and ds2 and with ds1 I even had the luxury of taking a year off but I still wasn't ready for going back. I found I had to just accept that I hated it and that it wasn't what I wanted to do and draw a line underneath it. The feeling never went away even on the last day before I started my next lot of maternity leave, I constantly hated it

 

[havingmyfirst]

I feel your pain. I am going back in 4 weeks and I am totally dreading it. I am lucky to have had seven months off, and I am going back 4 days a week, but they are 4 long days so on those days I won't really see the kids at all. This is my third baby and I think this is the hardest yet. I have realised being on maternity leave this time, how much in benefits my older two to have me there for the school run and the time after school, just to support them and talk about their day. I am desperately trying to think of a way that I can work in a more flexible job so that I can be there for them more. I really resent having to go back to work. I am the main earner in our family and I find myself resenting DH as well because if he earned more I would have to work less. I know that's really selfish of me, I just can't help feeling that way.

I am in the same situation as you. Last time work let me go back four days this time it has to be five... It's so hard!

 

[Cattia]

I feel your pain. I am going back in 4 weeks and I am totally dreading it. I am lucky to have had seven months off, and I am going back 4 days a week, but they are 4 long days so on those days I won't really see the kids at all. This is my third baby and I think this is the hardest yet. I have realised being on maternity leave this time, how much in benefits my older two to have me there for the school run and the time after school, just to support them and talk about their day. I am desperately trying to think of a way that I can work in a more flexible job so that I can be there for them more. I really resent having to go back to work. I am the main earner in our family and I find myself resenting DH as well because if he earned more I would have to work less. I know that's really selfish of me, I just can't help feeling that way.

I am in the same situation as you. Last time work let me go back four days this time it has to be five... It's so hard!

I hope it works out for you when it comes to it. I am dreading it so much that I'm almost getting to the stage where I just need to go back and do it as it's like this dark cloud hanging over me all the time. I really would give anything to stay at home.