Four Year Old Tantrums

[SarahBear]

When Violet throws a tantrum, usually the best way to get her to calm down and be more reasonable is to have her go to her bedroom until she's ready to come out. The problem is, when she's out of control enough to need this level of intervention, she won't go. At younger ages, carrying her to her room seemed fine, but as she gets older, this is feeling less appropriate. Yesterday she did go to her room on her own and today she did calm down after I escorted her (not carry) out of the kitchen, but what's the best way to deal with it when she just won't go? Do I just continue to physically remove her since it works? At what age does this become inappropriate?

P.S. This sort of behavior is more likely when she's not feeling well and she's been sick a lot this winter. Right now, her ear canals are infected and she's on ear drops for it.

 

[becsboo]

all children go through this and its very hard because what works for one doesn't always work for another
what I do is stay very calm don't say anything and let them ride it out then when they have stopped I ask them to sit and think about how there behaviour has effected everyone in the house

good luck

 

[Zephram]

I still remove my 4 year old if I can't reason with him. It's becoming a lot rarer than it was when he was 3 though as he's starting to be able to listen to what I'm saying when he's upset.

Sometimes what gets through to him is saying very firmly: "You're tantrumming again, that won't get you what you want. Stop yelling and talk to me politely."

That said he still does get occasional time out for repeated misbehaviour and I will carry him if he won't walk to his room.

I think his tantrums will continue to reduce and remove the issue over time.

 

[Lady_Bee]

I would still carry her out if it works. I don't consider that inappropriate and my son is 5. Sometimes he leaves me little choice.