Funeral great grandparent

[ronnie1234]

We have a five year old daughter her great grandmother passed away this week and the funeral is next weekend. I'm unsure about her attending seeing everyone upset could upset her although she understands she's passed away etc
I'm thinking just take my daughter to the wake but not the service I will attend the service though & daughter get dropped off later, thoughts?

 

[george83]

I've taken my children to their great grandparents funerals but only because I had no other child care. At one funeral my younger 2 luckily fell asleep in the car on the way to the service so luckily they stayed in the car. I think it's very much a personal thing depending on how close you are as family

 

[broodymrs]

We took our ds to his great grandma's wake but not the funeral. He wasn't close to her so I thought no point risking upsetting him and potentially disrupting the funeral if he kicked off. I did mean Dh had to go alone though which I regret as he really took it hard. If it was someone he was close to I probably would take him

 

[Rags]

My niece came to her grandfathers wake. She had seen him during his 'lying in rest' period in the house and been fine with that but we thought the burial might be to much for her so picked her up immediately after. She is a young adult now and has very fond memories of her grandfather and also of the funeral.

 

[suzib76]

Not something I would take a little one to. I don't think they need it.

 

[lindseymw]

My two have been to the Wake of my Gran & DH's Gran but not to the service itself.

They were 2 & 4 then 3 & 5 for the funerals. I didn't think it was appropriate for them to attend the funeral part (although if I couldn't get childcare then I would have taken them).

 

[cat_reversing]

I took DD to the funeral of very close family member recently, she's nearly 4. I'm glad she came as we could comfort each other and it gave us both some closure. She still talks about things dying, she's very imaginative and tells stories which include someone or something dying but it's all part of dealing with it. She doesn't talk about the funeral, it was only 40 minutes of her little life.
You should do whatever is good for you.
I don't think death should be hidden, it's all around us all the time; before the funeral we saw a dead bird on the pavement so had a conversation about how it's body didn't work anymore and that it wouldn't be coming back, we then buried it and talked about it now becoming food for the worms and insects.
Being sad is as normal as being happy and shouldn't be hidden either, it's OK to feel sad sometimes.

 

[lau86]

If it was a close family member I would take them but not if they weren't really going to miss them (hadn't seen them much etc). Especially the older they get and the more upsetting they will find it. For purely babysitting/ practical reasons I would find it hard to justify putting a child through that. I took my then 18month old to my cousins, he could've stayed with mil but I decided I wanted him with me (it was down south so would've meant leaving him all day)

 

[Tasha]

My children have been between 1 and 7 when attending great grandparents, great aunt, their two sisters funerals etc. I took them because they're were part of their life but we always made sure that my husband was with them near the door to escape if needed

 

[mummyfin]

Have you asked her? I would give her the chance if she wants to, I never got to go to my Grandad's funeral or see him before he died despite much tears and asking as my mum thought it might be upsetting and it still bothers me. A year later I went to both great-grandparents funerals and visited them several times in hospital with no problems.

My Granny died when DS was 5 and we asked him what he wanted to do, he chose to stay with DD and my MIL while we went. DD (1 at the time) went to her cousin's funeral the same month, but we put DS to school. All kids are different.​