Gave up breastmilk and feeling guilty :(

[bubblychick]

My little boy is a month old and has started throwing up any breastmilk we give
Him whether expressed or at the breast so he was crying from hunger so we've been formula feeding him every feed and he's been
Happy and content since but now I feel really guilty I'm not giving my baby what's best for him I know ff babies thrive just as week as bf babies but I still feel terrible did anyone else feel this way when they stopped giving their baby breastmilk?

 

[LilyValley]

I felt terrible when I gave up breastfeeding when my baby was 2 days old, it just wasn't working for either of us and led to my baby becoming distressed and starving. I switched to formula and he was much happier but I felt awful about it, so much so that I cried at every feed. I felt if let him down and compromised our bonding time, I was so disappointed at myself and this was brought back every time breastfeeding was mentioned. However, fast forward 4 weeks - my baby is thriving, relaxed and we've bonded amazingly. Formula feeding has helped my baby thrive and helped me to relax, he has a great bond with his dad too who can help with feeds. Please don't be too hard on yourself, I think it's important to grieve for what you feel you've lost but it's important to focus on the benefits that formula feeding will bring, they'll be easier to see in the long term but repeat the reasons you have switched to yourself and you'll soon be at peace with your decision. Good luck

 

[mommy0629]

Yes, you'll get over that feeling quickly, don't worry. I stopped giving lo bm around 3 weeks. She was a preemie and was just too small to latch properly and didn't have enough energy to suckle enough to take in enough milk, so I had to bf her then give her a bottle of pumped bm then pump for the next feeding. It was too much and I gradually switched to formula. About a week or so later (after I have forgotten how HARD it was with all the pumping etc.) I regretted stopping with bfing. I felt a loss about it for a little while but now it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Just focus on the fact that your lo is happy and content and well fed, the source doesn't matter nearly as much as is beaten into our heads.

 

[bellaloo]

If you read back what you wrote you said he was throwing up the breast milk and since being ff he's much happier and contented..therefor your giving him what he needs and wants. x

 

[TriChick]

Oh hun, please don't feel guilty. I combo-fed pumping 12 times a day for the first month before switching him to formula-only. The first day without pumping made me feel like a horrible mother and lead me down a dark alley of depression that I was somehow "failing" the perfectly healthy (and over-the-moon-happy!) little boy looking back at me. Finally I realized that, regardless of what was going in his tummy, he was growing like a weed and developing amazingly. I was doing my job as a good mommy, and so are you

 

[KittiKat76]

Ask yourself this too. Would you feel half as bad if you didn't use this site and read everyone's bf related stories/signatures all the time?? Don't get me wrong, i love b&b, but it did make me feel more guilty when i switched to ff after a week. It has made baby and i relaxed and happy and i love it!!

 

[cat lover]

i do agree that forums can make people feel.worse at times. in my personal experience noone cares how you feed lo irl. a paed even said to.me recently that all that matters is that baby is fed,.much more so than how. my lo was in hospital lately and i grew to resent the hours i spent pumping when i could have been at her bedside

 

[SamGoPanda]

I am glad this thread exists as I was going to create one myself about the horrendous guilt I feel aswell. I had my LO on Sunday and I breastfed up until yesterday and it had gotten to the point where I was hysterically crying in agony as he fed and getting terrible contraction pains in my tummy that I couldn't even sit up. I'm already recovering from a pretty traumatic birth with a horrible 4th degree tear so I feel pretty weak and useless anyway. I know how you're feeling, I feel as though I should try again but I know I can't do it. Ever since yesterday evening when I changed over, my son has slept properly, looked so much happier and his bowel movements are perfect. You can only do what you can do, so don't feel guilty. If you're miserable and breastfeeding you're missing out on time you could be happy with your child. Not breastfeeding doesn't make anyone a bad parent, the choice to do what's personally best for you and your situation makes you a fantastic one x

 

[bubblychick]

I'm doing well with the FF my little man is now 11lbs 15 and definitely a lot happier and I have a lot more time to cuddle him than I would when I spent half the day expressing milk and getting him to latch