Getting out of the "hospital birth" mindset... thoughts?

[ace28]

So I am planning a home water birth with a midwife, and I am very very excited about it. I can picture myself in the tub, holding on to OH for dear life, and then cuddling our newborn son in the water right afterwards... I'm really looking forward to it (and trying to ignore the part in between where it's gonna hurt like hell! ).

However, whenever I try to picture the actual START of labor, and how things will progress from that end, all I can picture is the whole "time the contractions, call the hospital, head in to labor and delivery" routine. Why is that? Obviously, this won't be part of the routine if we do a home birth, and I'm okay with that, yet this is the part I can't get out of my head.

Psychoanalyzing myself for a minute here... I think maybe I keep picturing that because that's the predominant image of labor and birth sold to women in the US and UK... we're taught that "going into labor" means a big rush of water down your leg and a crazy car drive to the nearest hospital, stopping at red lights not required. And so when I picture myself going into labor, that's what I picture. Make sense? Also, compared to that rushed and frenzied start to labor, starting labor at home and progressing from there seems so... idk... slow! It seems like at least rushing to the hospital gives you something to do to help time go by faster and occupy yourself, whereas in a home birth you sit... and wait... granted, at some point in time the midwife has to be called and the pool set up and the kids picked up, but none of that is stuff *I* will personally be doing...

On the other hand, one of the big big reasons we CHOSE a home birth is to avoid all those extra people, and unnecessary steps, and overmedicalization (as we see it, not to offend those who use the hospital). I'm GLAD to have just us there for a time, glad to be in the comfort of my own home and free to labor as I choose... I'm just having trouble picturing the start of it I guess. I think I need to read more home birth stories and focus on the beginning rather than the end!

Anyone else feeling similarly? At all? haha..

 

[madasa]

It's very much the same. At about the point where you'd be thinking "I should go to hosp now" you think "I will call the MW out".

If you have a cake in the freezer, you get that out. If you have someone looking after older children or pets you give them a heads up. You call work/partner's work to tell them you won't be in. If you have a doula, you let her know that it's started and how things are going. If you have a pool, you get that set up. In between, you just... potter. You go to the shops. (There will be no queues, guaranteed, hahahaha!) You go for a walk. You take lots of photos. You have your partner cook a lovely meal for you. You write a letter to your baby. When you feel another wave coming, you smile. Eventually, you light candles, or get your CD on, or get your birth ball out or get in the pool or whatever..... Seamless and uninterrupted

I want to do it again! Savour every minute for me!

 

[MindUtopia]

Thank you, madasa, that's actually exactly how I picture it. I read one birth story on here where the mum-to-be baked a birthday cake in early labour. I think I'd like to do that, just to give me something to do if I need it.

 

[Cordelia Lynn]

I wonder the same thing!! I can't picture my home birth! It's gonna happen any day now...and I don't know what to "do" when it does! (Except for the obvious stuff...get the kids sent off, maybe clean the house, tell hubby to fill the pool, call the midwives, etc...) It's all so unpredictable. It depends on how quick labor is. I'm definitely a "planner" so not knowing is the hardest part!! But really exciting too. I can't wait until I can write about it!

 

[NaturalMomma]

You know you may find yourself completely forgetting that image once labor starts. With ds1 I had a hospital birth, and I remember thinking of the rush to go to the hospital when it was time. But once labor did start I didn't even think of that, and I wasn't good at timing the contractions. In fact, I didn't go to the hospital until 15 hours into labor. With ds2 we had a homebirth and the only real image I had was that. But again, once labor started I didn't even think of it. I didn't even call my Midwife or family until hours into labor.

 

[oread]

I love imagining a home birth after being in hospital and getting epidural with my first. It was so frustrsting since I knew I could do it without meds, but with all the interruption and being in a strange place it made me so much more anxious and insecure than I think I would be otherwise.
With no hospital policies to fight, it seems like it would be so much more peaceful and empowering! I like to imagine I would go for a walk, relax in birthing pool, listen to music, and be uninhibited to move how I want to and do what I feel like. I have no idea how I will actually respond of course, but I like to think once labor starts I'll just smile and make a snack and prepare thins, instead of getting nervous about getting to the hospital. Like "oh labor is starting, I think I'll have a tea and take a walk!"

 

[madasa]

I visualised my birth over and over.... all different ways it could go and what I might feel, how I moght cope. I re-lived my favourites over and over again. It was very hard imagining early labour, but it was easy to imagine advanced labour. As it turned out, through most of my labour I lounged on the sofa watching TV in my dressing gown. It was just like a very lazy Sunday where you can't be bothered to do anything, you know? Very normal, not hectic at all. Nice n chilled