Getting so angry with...

[maybaby2018]

People telling me I shouldn't get upset if I don't get to have a VBAC! So with my 1st pregnancy I laboured all the way to 9cm and stopped processing and LO was in distress so ended up with an emergency c section which was horrific, long story short the epidural failed and I could feel them doing everything. This time I've asked for a VBAC which the consultants are more than happy with providing my placenta moves up which they seem positive about. Anyway, I've mentioned it to a couple of people that have asked, or I get the odd 'so will it be another section this time' and I'll say no and they'll go 'oh really, why? Why do you not want to have a section? I would rather that' or if I get a bit upset about the fact I might not be able to have one, I just get 'well you shouldn't stress over things you can't control' or 'it doesn't matter as long as baby is healthy'. Which yes is true but that's not the point, I had a horrific experience first time round and all I want is just a shot at a VBAC and whenever I mention it I just get shot down .

Sorry for the rant ladies..

 

[WackyMumof2]

People telling me I shouldn't get upset if I don't get to have a VBAC! So with my 1st pregnancy I laboured all the way to 9cm and stopped processing and LO was in distress so ended up with an emergency c section which was horrific, long story short the epidural failed and I could feel them doing everything. This time I've asked for a VBAC which the consultants are more than happy with providing my placenta moves up which they seem positive about. Anyway, I've mentioned it to a couple of people that have asked, or I get the odd 'so will it be another section this time' and I'll say no and they'll go 'oh really, why? Why do you not want to have a section? I would rather that' or if I get a bit upset about the fact I might not be able to have one, I just get 'well you shouldn't stress over things you can't control' or 'it doesn't matter as long as baby is healthy'. Which yes is true but that's not the point, I had a horrific experience first time round and all I want is just a shot at a VBAC and whenever I mention it I just get shot down .

Sorry for the rant ladies..

I have to ask, the ones who are questioning why you're not having another section, have they ever had children or actually recovered from a section?! That is MAJOR surgery and it's so much harder a recovery.

I get the 'you shouldn't stress over what you can't control' statement but people really do need to keep comments like that to themselves especially when you have your heart set on VBAC. If it helps, I had an EMSC with my first and then 3 successful VBAC's after that. Though my EMSC wasn't a traumatic experience and didn't affect my feelings on childbirth, I did worry with my second baby if I would end up needing to have another EMCS. It turned out to be a whole lot of unnecessary worry and I delivered a almost 9lb baby after a 4 hour drug free labour and birth. 2 others followed in the same manner except one was 12 hours and the last was 40 minutes though he was induced at my own request due to the back pain. You'll be fine, you'll get your VBAC. This choice is yours to make and yours alone. Don't let anyone tell you different. Just tell them if they mention it that you don't want to talk about it because it's not their choice to make. You start to explain then you're going to be questioned with either option. Just shut it down as soon as it starts by telling them you don't want to talk about it and that you don't want to hear it either. Best of luck.

 

[VieraSky]

Don't worry about them. Yes, it's good to be prepared for that possibility if something during labor goes the wrong way, but that's no reason to give up on you wanting a vbac. I had an emergency c-section with my first (8lbs 6oz) and a vbac with my second (10lbs 11oz).

 

[Reiko_ctu]

I don't really like the "as long as baby is healthy" thing... of course we want that, obviously. But there are a lot of other mental issues and emotions surrounding birth. I think we should try as hard as we can and our care team should support us to try and have the birth we would like. I think we should aim for healthy mom healthy baby not just baby!

Of course, we need to be flexible as we really can't predict how things will go... but for people to question why you would even have a desire for a certain birth seems like they're totally brainwashed by OBs who just want to cut baby out on a schedule.