Giving up

[millianaire]

I tried so hard to stay positive while everyone around me has children and are now on there 2nd ones, i cant relive the pain any more, i have lost weight, controlled food, my first round of clomid 50g after provera= fail my second round of clomid 50g=miscarriage 5 weeks now i am a week late for period after my third round of clomid and negative tests no signs (sore boobs) could be period. I told my partner that if i wasnt this round i dont want to try again its just too hard emotionally to keep thinking maybe next month, i thought i was strong and could fight pcos and no conception but im not i hate it i hate feeling like this i feel like the world is against me and im not meant to have kids because i have done some bad things in life and now being punished for them (not murders just been horrible to people) ive been so judgemental and now god is judging me.
i wont go on antidepressants either because i feel they make u worse not better. i dont know what else to do and im so scared that im going to grown up being a bitter resentful women with no children. i feel like i have lket my partner down and my family they all have several children (4) i dont know what else to do. sorry if someones having a good day an reading this just need to talk to someone.
feel like no one understands me or knows how i feel

 

[Wallie]

Oh no, I know exactly how you feel. I don't know what to do anymore either. It's just so difficult and I know I'm getting more and more depressed and resentful about it all.

I honestly can't figure out what's wrong and why it won't just happen for us. If I had the answers I hope I'd feel better about it.

I just can't believe this is happening and it's just so easy for everyone else.

Btw I'm not having a good time of it just now, I've been off this forum with moving house recently but I just have to keep off of it. Today though I thought I'd come on and seek some answers of being childless. How do folk do it? Probably not the best forum to be on maybe?

 

[millianaire]

I know Hun life really is shit for us, whats ur email I would prefer not
O come on this site as well an bring everyone down, to make matters worse my
Bro has just announced he's having twins its a joke I can't even find the energy to be happy for him I feel awful.
My email is [email protected] email me what your story is.
Sorry if my post was depressing for you just needed to talk to someone xxxx

 

[sailorgirl20]

Hey i know how you feel me and my husband have been trying for a few years now, with no luck got tests done last year and hubby has low sperm, im healthy and ready but like everyone tells me it takes one sperm, and these are people that either got pregnant right away or had surprise pregnancies! we took a break last few months and here we are starting again.

I know its a scary thought; life without kids, trust me i know that thought i get it often but its about over shadowing it with positive, and trust me its hard. All of my shows i watch to they either have babies one season then the next someone else is prego, its everywhere, so try your best to keep the positive overpowering the negative, eventually it will happen. to help me when ever i think of something negative about ttc i go and i work on quilting right now i got 15 completed baby blankets but it gives me hope.

but i know how you feel; the waiting game sucks!

 

[Chatnoir]

In the exact same boat! So feel like jacking all this ttc in. The emotional heart ache every month is ridiculous. I was a mess last month and a bit too scared to even try this month incase of more failure.
feel free to rant/cry away! That's what we are hear for..... To support each other xx

 

[HearMyPrayers]

I'm in the same boat and I think we all go through waves and stages of defeat and struggles. What you have to remember is NOT to blame yourself! There are people out there that have babies and they are less than capable of being parents and God has intrusted them with one of his angels. This is how I see....we are all on a journey in this life, we have very little control of the outcome of our journey. I believe my precious gift is still being created my the great Creator and when he is good and ready to give me a gift that he knows is the purest and most precious gift he will give it to me, when He is good and ready. And if he never does I will believe its because He wants my love to help out elsewhere. We are all worthy, beautiful, strong (strongest women I know), smart and dedicated women. This isn't an easy road to travel and I have fears and worries and doubts every minute of every hour of every day. The easiest thing to do it give up, because its effortless....you just stop trying, but I promise you sweetie as badly as I can tell you want to be a mommy, tomorrow will be another day and you will continue to fight for the one thing you want so badly and you will continue that fight for as long as it takes you! Miracles happen every day and a strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any fertility drug out there.



You must stay STRONG POSITIVE MOTIVATED SECURE HAPPY! Despite it all you have to hold onto to your dreams and never let go!

And we all must stop putting so much pressure on ourselves! It will not help in anyway we are in very little control of our eggs and ovulation sperm and conception we are just the vessels that hold all this little things going on in our bodies every month, so we must stop all the pressure we put ourselves under and remember that every month there is a chance we MIGHT get pregnant but that there is also the chance we wont. I want nothing but for each one of us to have all our dreams come true and I believe they will!

 

[millianaire]

hi all thankyou so much you dont know how much your words help, sometime we all jsut want to throw in the towel an admit defeat but we all know how strong wee each are, its just a case of knowing how much our own emotions can handle and im very emotional, i love the fact that i know im not alone now and i would like anyone to add me on fb gina hare if you need some support from me, or email me privately cool... thanks again and im sorry if i depressed you all i didnt mean to just having a really down day with no one to turn to. love to you all and lots and lots of fairy dust....