Happy and v sad day!

[pinkflamingo]

Hey all,

Just coming on for a little sob!

Two of my cousins have had babies today! Of course it goes without saying that I am thrilled for them, but it makes it me so sad as my due date was only 6 weeks later. We didn't announce our pregnancy as we never got to the 12 week scan point, so none of them know about it, but I was so excited at the time that the babies would be born so close to one another and grow up together like we did.

It has also hit me that today I have become the only cousin out of the 'older' group of our family, that has yet to have any children. I am not even the youngest out of the group so that has gotten me a little down too.

And then to just top it all off I did a HPT yest and it was a BFN. I really had a feeling that this month was going to be it, and I know that until AF shows up (due tomorrow) that I can't count myself out completely, but still feeling very cr@ppy! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Good days and bad days....today is a not so good one!

xx

 

[Brookegarrett]

I am so sorry for ur pain.. I am having a bad day also...the thought that I'll nvr will hold my baby has hit me and it's taking it's toll..

 

[pinkflamingo]

Thanks for your reply. I am sorry for your loss and your sadness.

The loss of a baby isn't just something that goes away is it, and so when things like this happen you just relive all the feelings over again. I hope that I don't feel like this for the next 6 weeks until what would have been my due date.

I see from your ticker that you are 17dpo. Have you tested this month? My cycles are on average 35 days, but I don't know when I ov'd this month (or even if I did) so it makes it so difficult. Think I may need to take some time out after this month if AF shows up.

Hope you are ok hun xx

 

[jojo23]

so sorry hun i know the feeling my cousin is due her baby any day now and my due date would have been next thursday... we're all here for each other hun and your right youre not out yet so keep positive hun xxx wishing you lots of love and cuddles xxx

 

[pinkflamingo]

thanks jojo23. I am so sorry for your loss.

It's a real help to be able to come on here and vent my emotions with those who understand. I spoke to DH about it earlier and he keeps telling me 'it will happen to us', but I tell him he sounds like someone who says the wrong thing when you tell them you have lost a baby!! I know he just doesn't know what to say to make me feel better, in fact I don't know what he could say to make me feel better so he hasn't got a chance!!

Tomorrow is another day, let's hope a better one! i have just watched 5 mins of jeremy kyle whilst writing this, and I already feel a bit better about myself and my life now!!!!!!

xx

 

[Brookegarrett]

I tested yesterday .. BFN.. Im thinkin about taking a break for a few cycles