Having a breakdown

[wantababybump]

Well here I am sitting at my computer bawling my eyes out. I just feel so sad and so lonely. Shawn is at work until 1130pm. After reading "parkers story" I began to think about my own life and how we are TTC and how I should have been just about ready to give birth. Stupid me I decided to look at the calendar and count the days until my EDD...18 days. 18 days until I would have been holding my baby girl in my arms, 18 days until I could have seen Shawn with our beautiful baby girl being the perfect daddy I know he would have been. I cant believe how quickly it crept up. I cant believe I have to be sitting here crying about it now. I just want my baby. I just want to be happy. Christmas is going to be hard this year, just because her due date is coming up and I should have been spending christmas with my new little family. I usually say I dont like Christmas and not Im not excited about it coming up but usually as it gets closer and I get my shopping done my christmas spirit shows up. I just really dont know if it will this year. How can I be happy when its all I can think about. I hate feeling like this. I want it to go away. I think the weather is driving me to be a little emotional (hopefully its pregnancy hormones too) I hate snow...I hate winter, and here I am sitting here in the dark writing on bnb crying my eyes out while it blizzards outside and my husband is stuck at work where I have to worry about him driving home at 1130pm in this mess. I really hope I am pregnant right now, I hope that if I am it will help with dealing with my due date coming up and dealing with christmas. I will have something to look forward to, to be happy about.
Thanks for listening if you read it...no need to reply. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest and it always feels better to write how you feel out. Now Im gonna go curl up on the couch, watch days of our lives and eat chewy cookies. xx

 

[Leanne&Bump..x]

Im Sorry i dont know what to say really, i hope you are feeling better soon..
Mmm Chewy cookies xxx

 

[honey08]

 

[honeybunch2k7]

 

[Sash13]

I'm sorry you feel so sad. Wish I could make it better.

 

[cleckner04]

I'm sorry your sad. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I hope you are okay. You can always talk to me, you got my number, hope you get your sticky tomorrow, because you deserve it.

 

[Flossie03]

I'm so sorry you are feeling sad, it must be a difficult time of the year for you, I hope you feel better soon

 

[Rumpskin]

So sorry you are feeling so sad darling. Are you planning on doing anything on this special day? I decided not to on mine, just treated it as a normal day. This is the only way I would have coped but everyone is different.

Will be thinking of you both.

 

[Jkelmum]

Hope u get soon and it will help heal your pain

 

[wantababybump]

So sorry you are feeling so sad darling. Are you planning on doing anything on this special day? I decided not to on mine, just treated it as a normal day. This is the only way I would have coped but everyone is different.

Will be thinking of you both.

I may light a candle that night but besides that probbly not. xx