Having a hard time coping with this pregnancy. PARL.

[confuzion]

This is pregnancy #4 for me. I'm yet to have any success. And I just feel so defeated. Just waiting for this one to end like all the others.

I find it difficult to be part of other pregnancy threads...even the PAL ones. Everyone is talking about their symptoms, how they will announce, etc. And I just wish I could do the same. In fact I did for the first few days that I found out, but now I just feel like it's different for me.

I guess the last was one loss too many. Because I had so much more optimism with my other pregnancies. And now I just feel like it will never work out for us.

I don't like talking about my pregnancy. I don't even like to acknowledge it. I guess I'm afraid to hope only to be crushed again.

If we do lose this one, I don't know if I could go on TTC. I feel like this whole journey has worn me down. I don't really think I realized how exhausted I was by everything until I was pregnant again.

Sorry for the rant. I think I just needed to get it out.

 

[celine]

Hugs xxxx it doesnt get easier, ive had two befor and have no reason to doubt myself but still have fear, at my 36 week scan i was sure she would say there was no baby inside and it was all in my head.
Pal is one of the hardest things ive had to go thru, even when you pass ur "milestone" dates, you are still now even more aware of loss especially n these forums, its not bad but you have have a new perspective.
From the first scan at 9w i asked for weekly scans andmanaged it til 15 weeks then i had a scary month til the anomoly scan. I was so releived when id feel the baby move.
Id also read how big my baby is every week and think how scary it would be to lose...

 

[RaspberryK]

xx

 

[babyfeva]

I haven't had as many losses as you but I have had one and it was the hardest thing to go through. I really just want to let you know that it's ok to feel the way that you do. I just told my husband today if this pregnancy doesn't work out I don't think I can do it again. I don't think anyone understands how hard it is until they've experienced a loss. Myself and many others are here for you to just support you or to listen. Hugs sweetie.

 

[anxious mommy]

I'm on my 5th pregnancy with only two babies so far, I find out tomorrow whether this is a third sticky for me or a third loss and I hear you. The emotional run down leads to pessimism. I can't tell you what luck you will or won't have this time, but hugs and support regardless.

 

[Mummy to be x]

 

[TTC First]

I also haven't had too many BFP but even after one loss, I am so worried about this one. I just don't want to loose this one like the last. I could not go through the pain of repeated MC.

 

[confuzion]

Thanks for support ladies. And for listening to me whine lol. Hope you've all got your sticky beans.

I'm still having a hard time picturing things going well. But I'm trying to prepare for myself for the worst while still acknowledging that things could go right this time. So won't grieve another loss unless I have to.

Ignoring it for the time being.

 

[RaspberryK]

Not long till your appointment now xx

 

[celine]

Sometims denial /ignoring is the best way to cope

 

[Mummy to be x]

I'm praying this is your sticky bean confuzion xx

 

[Curligurl]

I have been exactly where you are now...I had 3 consecutive MMC before finally having my son. When I found out I was pregnant for the 4th time I was more sad than happy. I could not for the life of me imagibe that it would work (even though my RE told me the reasons for my MMC and told me how to fix it). I started spotting at 5 weeks and I thought for sure it was over. I almost cancelled my ultrasound appointment...but there he was at 7w5d measuring perfectly with a strong heartbeat! It was the best moment of my life. I still had times of doubt/worry throughout the pregnancy but nothing like it was in the first trimester...


Now I'm pregnant for the 5th time and even though I have had a successful pregnancy since the MC I have been consumed with anxiety that it will end. I feel so numb. And the fact that I have zero symptoms is not helping...I promised myself that I would have more patience positivity and faith but miscarriages change your perspective...and it's hard to escape the "what ifs"

I hope that my success story gives you a little encouragement. I'm sending prayers of peace and sticky baby dust your way

 

[confuzion]

Thank you curligirl. It does give me hope. This is the first pregnancy that I'm taking progesterone, baby aspirin, and extra folate, so I'm hoping something does the trick.

I'm sure all will be well for you .

 

[LillyTame]

Hugs to all of you ladies, you are all so very strong and I hope you each have a healthy pregnancy ending with a bub in your arms

 

[nicb26]

I totally get you. I've had two losses, or 3 if you count my daughter's should-have-been twin. The most recent was just in February. Even though I have passed the stage of the previous losses, I still can't help but panic that things aren't going to work out. Can't get excited at all. I have an early scan next monday at 8+4, and I am so scared that there's going to be nothing there. It doesn't help that I haven't been sick at all, whereas with my daughter I was sick every day.

Sorry I haven't offered anything constructive, but hopefully it helps to know you are not alone in how you feel

Wishing you lots of luck with this one, really hope it all works out for you, and everyone in our situation! xx

 

[confuzion]

I actually had another MMC nic. Haven't passed it yet but it was diagnosed today. I appreciate the well wishes. I wish the best for everyone who has replied here. Thanks all.

 

[babyfeva]

Confuzion- I just read your post. I'm so so sorry sweetie. I'm here for you if you wanna talk.

 

[Curligurl]

I actually had another MMC nic. Haven't passed it yet but it was diagnosed today. I appreciate the well wishes. I wish the best for everyone who has replied here. Thanks all.

I am so sorry for your loss! I pray that you are healed soon. I strongly encourage you to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Maybe they can do an extensive workup on you so that you can have answers and have your rainbow baby soon...

 

[Kadiya]

Confusion I'm so sorry for your loss. I think it's amazing you tried up to this point as I told my OH that if we lose this one (we're only on try 3) that I'll be done.

My gf has been exactly where you are and they finally had a successful pregnancy and their baby girl was born last November (4 losses also). They weren't even trying and her OH was actually in the waiting room for his vasectomy when she called him with the news. So please don't lose hope. I'll be praying for you and your family.