Having a wobble.

[whyme]

Hi everyone,

well I had been doing so well with the PMA and everything. It will be 6 weeks on Monday since MMC discovered on scan. Have just finished my first week back at work - went well, everyone has been lovely and I did well. Am just finishing first AF since. And now I am SCARED. We decided to wait til first AF, before trying again, now that is fast approaching, I am petrified.

I don't have time on my side (turned 40 last November), yet I am so terrified of another loss. I know everyone must feel the same. Does anyone have any thoughts or facts on how long you should wait before TTC. My docs have all been positive, say leave it one cycle, then go for it.

I would love another child, yet couldn't go through what we have just experienced again. My mum says relax, you wouldn't do anything if you thought what could go wrong, she's right I know, but it soo hard to back down that road again and that is assuming I conceive again....I really think this age thing has affected me.

 

[kcw81]

hiya, my doc said wait two cycles at least so my body had time to rebuild its uterine lining and get back to normal, however, we waited only 1 cycle since I read online everywhere that a lot of people's docs tell them they only have to wait one cycle. We didn't have any luck though! I know some women get TTC right away before their first AF but I was too scared for that since the doc recommended against it. Are you worried to get started too soon and risk another m/c? If docs say okay to go, its probably okay!

 

[stardust22]

Hi Whyme,

So sorry for your loss. Its just devastating and I know how you feel.

I had a mmc in January and have now had my 2 AF and waiting to try properly this cycle. I am on the "sperm meets egg" plan. Not sure you have heard of it but I got pregnant first month I tried it last year so I am all geared up to try it again.

Only you can be really sure of how long is right for you. The doctor I see recommended one af just to clear things out (sorry tmi) and I have to say this second AF I am on now is really heavy compared to my first one and I am glad I waited. I think my body is finally ready.

Emotionally has been the hardest part for me and I went back to work after 2 weeks and thought I was coping, six weeks later it has all caught up with me and i had a total breakdown at work and had to be signed off the other day. I work in a maternity ward and it hasnt helped my recovery. I just hope some time away will get me back to myself. I hate feeling this way.

Anyway hun, when you feel ready, just relax and start again. One day at a time and you have been pregnant already so you will be again. I too am scared of what will happen at that scan or even before but, what I have realised is that worrying the whole time is not going to help me.

You are in the right place for lots of support and advice and we are all here for each other.

Lots of babydust to you
xxxx

 

[Tanzo]

Hi Hun

There is a minefield of information out there about when to try again/ how long to wait etc and they all have slightly different advice. The general consensus is to wait at least one cycle and I agree with girls up there that 2 might be better. But really it comes down to how you feel. If you feel physically but more importantly emotionally ready then go for it.

I missed towards the end of feb have recently stopped bleeding from that and while Im awaiting AF we arent preventing it in the meantime IYSWIM. I was very early when I missed and didnt take anytime of work or anything coz for me carrying on working kept my mind of it and for me helped ya know? So it shows how different it is for everyone. I know someone else who had an MMC and went back on the pill coz she didnt feel like trying for quite sometime.

I feel that the fear of a loss will never really go away no matter how long you wait to TTC. Its a bit like being on a scary ride... Once you are on it you just have to grit your teeth and go for it!! Try and relax and enjoy all the fun that comes with trying!!

Thinking of you.
Lots of hugs!!! XXX

 

[whyme]

Hi Whyme,

So sorry for your loss. Its just devastating and I know how you feel.

I had a mmc in January and have now had my 2 AF and waiting to try properly this cycle. I am on the "sperm meets egg" plan. Not sure you have heard of it but I got pregnant first month I tried it last year so I am all geared up to try it again.

Only you can be really sure of how long is right for you. The doctor I see recommended one af just to clear things out (sorry tmi) and I have to say this second AF I am on now is really heavy compared to my first one and I am glad I waited. I think my body is finally ready.

Emotionally has been the hardest part for me and I went back to work after 2 weeks and thought I was coping, six weeks later it has all caught up with me and i had a total breakdown at work and had to be signed off the other day. I work in a maternity ward and it hasnt helped my recovery. I just hope some time away will get me back to myself. I hate feeling this way.

Anyway hun, when you feel ready, just relax and start again. One day at a time and you have been pregnant already so you will be again. I too am scared of what will happen at that scan or even before but, what I have realised is that worrying the whole time is not going to help me.

You are in the right place for lots of support and advice and we are all here for each other.

Lots of babydust to you
xxxx

So sorry for your loss too hun. Thanks for replying, I can't believe how much i have poured my heart out to cyber space.

Must be soo hard workin where you do. I met a lovely nurse on the emegency gynae ward, I was sat on the bed crying - had woken up and the emptiness just hit me. Anyhow, this poor nurse had been in the same situation just few months earlier, she was lovely, sat with me and told me how hard it was being a patient on the ward she works in- she said they almost had to bash her over the head to knock her out when they took her to theatre for her D&C! But you are sooo brave to go back and face all those happy new mothers and babies, no wonder you need time out.

I had a very supportive GP who signed me off for a futher two weeks after she reviewed me- 5 weeks in total and I was very glad of that, the last week, I felt alot stronger, almost enjoyed having time for me, pottered in garden etc. Work have been great too, I have a great bunch of colleagues, many of whom are close friends.

I just think maybe, its a culmination of everything -I have just overcome a massive hurdle, having just finished my first week back, as well as first AF, which is good, but also hammers home that I am not pregnant anymore if you know what i mean.

Strangely, BCompletely out of the blue, before my little boy (3yrs) went to bed (I hadn't cried or shown him in anyway how I was feeling), he said to me that he was feeling sad cos the baby died, and then said
what are we going to do now mummy, i said i don't know- he said, I do, we will have to have another one - a little boy and daddy will bring him!
Bless him, he has been such a comfort to me.

Anyhow, enough of my ramblings!! I really hope you take the time out to look after you, and that you feel better/stronger soon xx