Having doubts about hiring a doula

[MindUtopia]

So I've always thought I would have a doula at my birth since I really believe strongly in the work they do (and one of my very close friends is a doula - though sadly, lives too far away to be my doula). But it's been such a hassle already just trying to find one that I'm starting to wonder if it's not meant to be and I should give up. I've literally emailed just about everyone within reasonable driving distance of me (within about 1.5 hours). And they've almost all been so flaky or just come across as not very professional. Some had never attended a home birth (which might not matter to everyone, but it's important to me) and some just weren't available in February/March (fair enough!). But others were just impossible to even contact since their websites didn't work, or their phone numbers or emails weren't updated. A couple I tried to set up appointments with and they've just fallen off the face of the earth and stopped being reachable. One just seemed weird and difficult to deal with. One doesn't have a license and can't drive so would have to take a taxi to me from over an hour away (at our expense, um no). Is this normal? I did find two that seem suitable, but both are out of the country for the next month, so we can't meet until end of August/September, and I'm wondering if they will just disappear on me too.

Has anyone else found it difficult to find someone? I would think running your own business means you have to be really on point and organized and responsive to potential clients, but am I expecting too much? If so, I'm starting to wonder if maybe a doula isn't right for me after all. It's starting to seem like a big hassle - and a big hassle I'm going to have to pay for! Anyone wanted to hire a doula, but decided to go it alone for any specific reasons? It had been really important for me to have the extra support since my family is 3000 miles away (and well, I wouldn't want them at the birth even if they were close anyway since they are kinda high maintenance and would want it all to be about them and not me, which wouldn't help me relax and do my thing). It will just be my husband and the midwives at my birth, and I thought it would be nice to have the support postpartum with breastfeeding, babywearing, etc. But now I'm just not sure. I'm still going to interview the 2 I've found, if I can manage to set up meetings with them, but if that doesn't work, I'm thinking maybe I should just stop my search there.

 

[booflebump]

Sorry you have had such disappointing experiences with contacting doulas. September is still plenty of time for initial meetings, so go ahead with those meetings if you can. I do try to respond within 3 days maximum to any enquiries, as I know how frustrating waiting for a reply can be

xxx

 

[IrelandsOwn]

Wow that's really disappointing and I totally agree, if you're self-employed (especially in this economy) you should be contactable to potential clients at all times. Anyone who isn't just doesn't sound very smart! The birth center where I hope to give birth will be supplying a doula for me. Like you, my family live thousands of miles away, so I know I'll need the extra support, particularly postpartum. Hopefully the two you've contacted will be wonderful!

 

[MindUtopia]

Wow that's really disappointing and I totally agree, if you're self-employed (especially in this economy) you should be contactable to potential clients at all times. Anyone who isn't just doesn't sound very smart! The birth center where I hope to give birth will be supplying a doula for me. Like you, my family live thousands of miles away, so I know I'll need the extra support, particularly postpartum. Hopefully the two you've contacted will be wonderful!

Oh, wow, that's awesome that they provide a doula for you. What a fantastic approach. Yeah, I agree, it is a little disappointing, though now my frustration is wearing off a bit (I think pregnancy hormones don't help when I feel like people are being so annoying - though seriously, how is anyone a doula if you don't have a car and need to take public transit? Like how to do get places in the middle of the night when someone is in labour? Where we live is really rural. But anyway, I digress). Thankfully, the two I have contacted seem great, and I'll interview them and if it's meant to be, it will feel right. And I guess if it's not, then we'll take another approach. Thankfully, the midwives have been wonderful and supportive so far, and though I know doulas offer a different kind of support, I can see how I would be okay probably even on my own. But if I can find a doula who is right for us, that would obviously still be the best thing!