He won't let me put him down!

[sweetsammi]

Does anyone else have the same problem? Oliver is content whilst i hold him but the second i put him down he'll cry. And he will not stop until i pick him up again! Why does he do this? I'm not sure if its cus he's a 'needy' baby so its an attention thing or if he's still abit uncomfortable from his reflux so just wants comfort. He'll even fall asleep in my arms but if i put him down he'll wake up! How do i stop it?

Its hard cus i cant eat/shower/get dressed or even pee without him screaming! A dummy doesnt even help.x

 

[cupcake]

it might be a case of him just getting used to being put down now before it gets too late. when i was an aupair the baby would not go to sleep unless i rocked it, big mistake, coz i ended up always having to rock it but he was 4 months then and oliver is smaller. wish i had some advice for u

 

[sweetsammi]

Yeah thanks thats what i figured but how can i just let him cry? x

 

[cupcake]

i dont know coz u have had such a rough time, not sure you could go thru all that screaming again could you

 

[xarlenex]

have you got a swing or a bouncer or anything you can put him in that may soothe him?

 

[sweetsammi]

Yeah we have a rocker, it vibrates aswell, but doesnt help x

 

[xarlenex]

Ah..maybe your just going to have to persevere with the crying if you want him to get out the routine of needing you constantly. My friend has the most content little boy ive ever seen, can sit in his wee swing for hours, but she said it wasnt easy, coz like little oliver he was getin really needy n wanted her there all the time. She said there were times she were in tears listenin to him cry but she knew in the end it would work and it did!

 

[cupcake]

id rule out for sure that he is not feeling ill in any way first, and then try and do it slowly, have times of the day u know when you wont pick him up, like when its time to go to bed for instance but go in and stroke his cheek, say mommy is here, put your hand on him but dont pick him up. that way he knows mommy is not leaving him on his own but that she isnt going to pick him up. see if he gets used to that

 

[sweetsammi]

see i have books that say NEVER to leave a baby to cry and i wouldnt like to but im worried he'll get too attatched to me. But the book says its impossible to spoil a baby by pickin them up too much. My OH tells me to let him cry. x

 

[xarlenex]

My pal let her boy cry for 10-15 mins..would then go in and just stroke his cheek or give him his dummy..anythin that would settle him except pickin him up. Then once hes stoped crying leave the room n do it all again..

She just checked his temp each time n that as well so he was over heatin with all the crying. She said it took hours the first couple nights but eventually it worked

 

[RachieH]

Do you hold him upright, i.e on your shoulder when he settles?
If so, it could be down to the reflux, meaning that he's not comfortable in a lying position, and would be better sleeping in a more upright position.
From around 6 weeks Frankie was the same - I was practically holding her all the time and couldn't put her down to sleep because she'd just wake up, almost instantaneously!- I took to doing the housework wih her in the sling....It's really wearing though isn't it?....Then by accident we discovered she would sleep for longer periods in her carseat, as she liked to be more upright, rather than lying down.....Life became much easier, as I could carry her upstairs in her carseat too, meaning I could shower without me disturbing her and her disturbing me!...So my advise is to try putting him to down to sleep in his carseat and see how it goes!

 

[sweetsammi]

Thats somethin i never thought of! Thanx! will give it ago! Funilly enough i learnt yesterday that he will usually settle lyin on his tummy! i darent leave him alone in that position though x

 

[mickey]

we manage already up to 15 minutes on her own in the cot and being in the bouncing chair together with mummy in the bathroom!

by now I wanted to give Juleika as much comfort as she needed to get her used to the new world around her, but now my instincts are starting to tell me, that we have to be careful 'bout she is not getting used to to be held all the time! as well by now she can see approx across the room already and she knows my and OH's face and voice in out, which means for me, she is already more aware of the new world around her and if we do not stop holding her all the time, she might get used to it. sorry that I describe this so complicated, hope you can understand what I mean?

once I am sure she is not hungry or uncomfortable, I gradually extend the time when she is moaning, but yes it is always dificult to know if it is not down to discomfort, expecially in your case with the reflux.

the sleeping problem we have as well. nighttimes it is improving, OH can get her to sleep already by carrying her around in his arms and once she is deep asleep she will sleep well in her cot, but daytimes I only can get her to sleep in my arms or in the sling as well and she would wake up latest after 10 min once I put her in the cot!

I am glad I have those slings! I would not know what to do without it!

in about a month's time I will start to try to get her to sleep by putting her in her cot, playing her music toy and/or singing nursery rhymes. (on this I have to improve, LOL, waiting for the CD my friend brought me from germany)

hope it helps you to know that I have the same problem! as well when I leave her to cry I feel like a bad mother

it's really tricky