I don't even know where to post. Don't think it's the right forum. Is there a forum for those who just can't get pregnant and are lost. Been a while since I was here last year. Hubby 48 and me 41 now. Tried IVF last year. Didn't work. We've basically been given a nonexistent chance and advised to do donor egg to begin with. As if getting a donor egg (south Asian) background is easy and costs the bank. At least IVF was covered but we can't go through that emotionally anymore. Plus no guarantee right with donor eggs too. Plus it's costing an arm and leg with agencies etc. Very limited options. Then think of adopting from overseas to match my ethnicity (husband insists he wants someone from my background, we are mixed race couple). And looking at adoption from back home is also an arm and a leg and so stressful and complicated.
Can't we already have a family? Why damn it is everything so darn difficult? Why can't one thing go right? I am pissed today...probably pmsing. But why do all doors seem to close? I would handle it better but more than me, it's him that I am concerned about. Loosing him to all this emotionally and psychologically. It's taken a toll, big time and I am very worried about it all and what its' doing to him. Yes I go to a bit of therapy and I just started him to go to couples with me but it's opening up the damn wound and causing an infection if you know what I mean. And I can't get him what he wants, a baby that looks like me cause he loves me. Everywhere is a closed door. If I had a million dollars maybe it would be easier.
It's not fair. At work...can't cry can't cry.
Can't we already have a family? Why damn it is everything so darn difficult? Why can't one thing go right? I am pissed today...probably pmsing. But why do all doors seem to close? I would handle it better but more than me, it's him that I am concerned about. Loosing him to all this emotionally and psychologically. It's taken a toll, big time and I am very worried about it all and what its' doing to him. Yes I go to a bit of therapy and I just started him to go to couples with me but it's opening up the damn wound and causing an infection if you know what I mean. And I can't get him what he wants, a baby that looks like me cause he loves me. Everywhere is a closed door. If I had a million dollars maybe it would be easier.
It's not fair. At work...can't cry can't cry.
