hello all !!

[mamichulo5]

I am new to this section.. but I have a question: I have an 13 yr. old son he is very smart but very quiet. He just started junior high school and now he is very socially awkward and because of this his grades are suffering..never had this problem before. He used to be an all A student in elementary ( he was there from kdg. to 6th)and now his grades have plummeted. DH and I went up to the school for PT conference and found out that he never talks or ask questions, even when he doesn't understand or hear what was said.I am not sure what has happened since he has gotten there( outside of school he is still the same person) but as far as school goes he has changed. How can I help him get over thinking he will be bullied for being smart or asking questions, I am at a lose here and don't know what to do.Hopefully I can get some helpful advice before this gets out of hand...thank you

 

[River54]

Hard one. We actually switched dd to a private school in grade 6 when it started to become obvious that if we kept her in the current school path, she would not do as well (she's smart and was socially awkward because she's smart). One of the best decisions we made. We basically found a school that fit her. It worked out very well for her.

DH saw this one, and he replied:
If it's a general fear, then it's easier to address, I think, but if it's someone in particular then it could be harder.
but, in general, I think mildly violent and athletically demanding extracurricular activities help.

 

[mamichulo5]

Hard one. We actually switched dd to a private school in grade 6 when it started to become obvious that if we kept her in the current school path, she would not do as well (she's smart and was socially awkward because she's smart). One of the best decisions we made. We basically found a school that fit her. It worked out very well for her.

DH saw this one, and he replied:
If it's a general fear, then it's easier to address, I think, but if it's someone in particular then it could be harder.
but, in general, I think mildly violent and athletically demanding extracurricular activities help.

Thanks, my DH and I have thought about taking him out and putting him in another school just wasn't sure what to do and as far as sports goes he wasn't interested at all. But, he loves building robots and making them work so we found and put him on a Lego robotics team and he loves it tell your DH, thanks alot and hopefully we will see some grade improvement now

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hi,
My youngest son will be 13 soon. He was in Catholic School from Pre K till 3rd grade. I took him out and put him in public school starting in 4th grade till now he is in 7th. He hated it it took him a good 8 months to get used to public school. My 2 oldest always went to Catholic school and graduated from there. The public school system in New York is way ahead of the Catholic schools, my son was lost, but he did catch up in about his 6 month.

I don't know for anywhere else but her in New York the school system is just so more advanced than the Catholic school. In 6th grade my son also got very quiet and just distant, I knew something was happening.

Finally one night he broke down and told my husband he was being bullied this was going on for 6 months and he didn't tell us.
The kid that was bullying him was 5 foot 8 and 180 pds? My son then was barely 70 pds and just under 5 feet.
He showed us his legs and they were all scarred up this kid was taking his size 10 foot and kicking my son , leaving in prints in his leg. At gym he would pull his shirt over his head and punch him and kick him in his back.

I wanted to kill this kid. I was so afraid he would hit him so hard that he might actually kill him or do serious damage.
I went up to the school and I was crying ( I didn't know at the time, but they are big on Bullying and take it very serious) I told the principal if something was not done immediately I was going to the mother and telling her if my son was touched again I would be coming back to her house for her.

The kid was suspended and he did never touch my son again.
Not saying your son is being bullied, but just make sure it actually isn't going on now at this moment. Kids stay quiet till they can't take it no more, just make sure nobody is picking on him or saying mean things to him.

I am sure as your son gets older things will get better, hope it is nothing and I hope your son will be just fine..
I don't think putting him in another school will help, I wanted to immediately pull my son out of school and put him back in catholic school. My husband would not let me, because he knew the education was not the same , so after a bit of thinking I decided to let him stay. I just watched him a lot..

Good Luck whatever you decide to do..

 

[mamichulo5]

Hi,
My youngest son will be 13 soon. He was in Catholic School form Pre K till 3rd grade. I took him out and put him in public school starting in 4th grade till now he is in 7th. He hated it it took him a good 8 months to get used to public school. My 2 oldest always went to Catholic school and graduated from there. The public school system in New York is way ahead of the Catholic schools, my son was lost, but he did catch up in about his 6 month.

I don't know for anywhere else but her in New York the school system is just so more advanced than the Catholic school. In 6th grade my son also got very quiet and just distant, I knew something was happening.

Finally one night he broke down and told my husband he was being bullied this was going on for 6 months and he didn't tell us.
The kid that was bullying him was 5 foot 8 and 180 pds? My son then was barely 70 pds and just under 5 feet.
He showed us his legs and they were all scarred up this kid was taking his size 10 foot and kicking my son , leaving in prints in his leg. At gym he would pull his shirt over his head and punch him and kick him in his back.

I wanted to kill this kid. I was so afraid he would hit him so hard that he might actually kill him or do serious damage.
I went up to the school and I was crying ( I didn't know at the time, but they are big on Bullying and take it very serious) I told the principal if something was not done immediately I was going to the mother and telling her if my son was touched again I would be coming back to her house for her.

The kid was suspended and he did never touch my son again.
Not saying your son is being bullied, but just make sure it actually isn't going on now at this moment. Kids stay quiet till they can't take it no more, just make sure nobody is picking on him or saying mean things to him.

I am sure as your son gets older things will get better, hope it is nothing and I hope your son will be just fine..
I don't think putting him in another school will help, I wanted to immediately pull my son out of school and put him back in catholic school. My husband would not let me, because he knew the education was not the same , so after a bit of thinking I decided to let him stay. I just watched him a lot..

Good Luck whatever you decide to do..

Thank you very much, glad your son told you guys and he is now ok, Our son is very quiet and that comes from his dad. So if this is whats going on,It will take us awhile to find out, our son is almost 5'9 and 200 lbs. so it could happen to him also...I am just hoping its the school change and I can just continue to pray that thats all it is,we do not want to change his school because the school he is at is an academic school(you have to have a certain GPA to get in) and the best school we have in our district and if that's not the case I will be up at the school just like you were.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hi,
My youngest son will be 13 soon. He was in Catholic School form Pre K till 3rd grade. I took him out and put him in public school starting in 4th grade till now he is in 7th. He hated it it took him a good 8 months to get used to public school. My 2 oldest always went to Catholic school and graduated from there. The public school system in New York is way ahead of the Catholic schools, my son was lost, but he did catch up in about his 6 month.

I don't know for anywhere else but her in New York the school system is just so more advanced than the Catholic school. In 6th grade my son also got very quiet and just distant, I knew something was happening.

Finally one night he broke down and told my husband he was being bullied this was going on for 6 months and he didn't tell us.
The kid that was bullying him was 5 foot 8 and 180 pds? My son then was barely 70 pds and just under 5 feet.
He showed us his legs and they were all scarred up this kid was taking his size 10 foot and kicking my son , leaving in prints in his leg. At gym he would pull his shirt over his head and punch him and kick him in his back.

I wanted to kill this kid. I was so afraid he would hit him so hard that he might actually kill him or do serious damage.
I went up to the school and I was crying ( I didn't know at the time, but they are big on Bullying and take it very serious) I told the principal if something was not done immediately I was going to the mother and telling her if my son was touched again I would be coming back to her house for her.

The kid was suspended and he did never touch my son again.
Not saying your son is being bullied, but just make sure it actually isn't going on now at this moment. Kids stay quiet till they can't take it no more, just make sure nobody is picking on him or saying mean things to him.

I am sure as your son gets older things will get better, hope it is nothing and I hope your son will be just fine..
I don't think putting him in another school will help, I wanted to immediately pull my son out of school and put him back in catholic school. My husband would not let me, because he knew the education was not the same , so after a bit of thinking I decided to let him stay. I just watched him a lot..

Good Luck whatever you decide to do..

Thank you very much, glad your son told you guys and he is now ok, Our son is very quiet and that comes from his dad. So if this is whats going on,It will take us awhile to find out, our son is almost 5'9 and 200 lbs. so it could happen to him also...I am just hoping its the school change and I can just continue to pray that thats all it is,we do not want to change his school because the school he is at is an academic school(you have to have a certain GPA to get in) and the best school we have in our district and if that's not the case I will be up at the school just like you were.

I am sure he is not being bullied although it can happen even with kids who are as big as your son and look like they will be able to defend themselves . I am sure he is not being bullied. Maybe he is just quiet by nature? Which isn't a bad thing, it is just his nature.

Maybe most probably it is the school change, it is a big adjustment for them at this age. I hope that is all it is and he will be just fine, if not you do what you think is best for him..

 

[River54]

Glad things are looking up

Our dd sounds similar...she LOVED kinex, mechano, etc especially with motors when she was younger.
When we switched her to the school, there was a huge process, iq tests, she had to go for interviews, recommendations etc to get in (for grade 6...), they were concerned about her socially... but then I gave reports of her at camp and her engaging with others, so to them, it meant she just couldn't relate to others at that time from her old school.
They accepted her, and she was fairly withdrawn the first year. I had to coax her to make friends etc. Told her to make sure she was with people at lunch etc. We also got her to join all the after school sports that was offered each term. She was afraid to since she didn't do any after school sports before and thought she sucked, but after much coaxing, she did. One of the best things she did. From then on, she made more friends, and was involved more and more with sports. Now she has top grades. (though she complains she has one of the lowest scores in math in her class currently at 95%...geez) The school was the best decision we have made.

It pays to have them in a school that fits them. Even with an adjustment period.

Does he like his teachers? (At his size, he'd probably do well at Rugby )

Glad you guys found something outside school he loves

DH says: Nice! (about the lego robotics team)