Help! DS 5yr old keeps pooing in his pants

[momof5inUK]

Hi all, I'm hoping for a little advise about my 5 year old DS...

Lately he's started, out of nowhere, pooing in his pants. Today he got sent home from school because he had an "upset tummy". Once I got him home it became quite apparent that he didn't have an upset tummy (2 enormous turds in the loo!)

We've tried being cross with him but it's clearly a little more than just being lazy and delaying the toilet trip.

I don't know whether he's not going to the toilet often enough (and getting subsequent constipation leaks) or he's too engrossed in playing to notice.

Any advice?! TIA

 

[Cattia]

No advice I'm afraid, but OMG I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! My DS who is four has been doing this the past week or so, and he has been through this phase before. Last time it happened it lasted a good few weeks and I rang the health visitor as I was at the end of my teather cleaning up poo every day. She advised me to introduce a reward chart and she also suggested putting him back in pull ups for a while, which I thought was a dubious approach so I didn't try it.
This time, he has started doing it since he went on his settling in visit to school. The visit went really well and he enjoyed it but I think deep down he is anxious about starting school. His pre school teacher is also leaving this week and I think the change has unsettled him. I have been getting mad at him for poooiing himself which I know is just totally the wrong approach. It's just so stressful when we are out somewhere and he is covered in poo. I'm trying to keep calm (with limited success) and I am going to go to 99p tomorrow and buy a load of cheap pants so if it happens I can just chuck them away. When he went through this phase before it was also at a time when he was unsettled and it did pass on its own. A lot of his friends (all boys) have been through the same thing so I don't think it's that uncommon, but it really is trying.

 

[Boomerslady]

Ben did this about a year ago, for about 3 weeks would just poo his pants constantly. I took him to the docs I was so fed up!!! One day he just stopped doing it. Not much help now I know, but I can feel your pain!

 

[laurajo24]

My son did this a few times. Turned out that he was terrified of going into the 'spooky' toilets at school by himself (they aren't allowed to go together because they tend to be silly). I spoke to his teacher and they now have a buddy system. Hope it's something simple with your LO! xx

 

[Natsku]

Going through this right now with Maria. She poos in her knickers almost every night. She did it a while ago, stopped after I started to bribe her with liquorice and now she's started again and bribery doesn't work this time. No advice, just commiseration and hope it passes quickly for us all!

 

[k4th]

We've been there too on & off - just a couple of weeks at a time and then she'll go months with clean knickers. I'm fairly confident after being in this cycle that dd knows what she's doing.

We have tried being cross, using the "thinking step", straight out bribery, trying to reason with dd, making her change princess knickers (disney) for plain white ones. It is one long list!!! & none of those things worked.

What worked was completely ignoring the behaviour; other than telling her to go & put her dirty knickers in the wash & get some clean ones. No shouting, no attention etc. Alongside that we wrote her a story about keeping clean knickers - it was something like;
"Most children like to keep clean knickers. They do their wees & poos in the toilet. When children poo in their knickers they might get a sore bottom and smell like poo. Babies poo in their nappies because they're not clever like me. I'm a big girl and I can do all my wees & poos in the toilet. When I behave like a big girl I can have big girl treats".

Yep - the bribery is still in there We read the story morning & night for a few weeks, then just once a day & now just every now & then. It means we talk about it, but not when I'm really p*ssed about it & not so she gets lots of attention as it happens.

She's had clean knickers for about two months now. Hoping it lasts this time!! (& just in case anyone recognises the story format - I work with kids with autism & language difficulties & have used a "social story" to explain this all to dd. I've seen it work so often in my work life, I figured it was worth a shot!!