Hi all i am new here

[sassy_k83]

Hi all. (sorry about the essay, this has been bottled for a while)

I am new to this part as I had a miscarriage last wednesday at 5 weeks. I had only known I was pregnant for 3 days and the whole ordeal was frightening as I this has never happened before and I wasn't really sure what was happening.

I have had great difficulty talking to OH and other family members about this and I have an overwhelming feeling that I am alone and no one seems to want to talk to me and when they do, they talk to me like i'm from another planet....this is why I have decided to write here to try and release some of my feelings.

the last 4days I have been having terrible headaches and I have been feeling completely exhausted. Despite this exhaustion I cannot shut off or sleep at night, been having horrible and vivid nightmares and often I wake up and dont know where I am or what day it is. This ofcourse only lasts a few seconds or a minute tops..........has anyone else experianced these things after a mc or am I just going mad??

Any input would be much appreciated
Thanks xxx

 

[rachjim98]

Hi and welcome, sorry it is under these circumstances. So sorry for your loss and what you are going through. You have come to the right place. After my loss this is the only place I could come and not be judged for getting upset or emotional. Plus all the ladies here are so wonderful and helpful!

I believe the headaches are from your hormones being out of whack. Your not going mad! you have suffered a loss and our minds can play tricks on us and that can be cruel.
Take it easy your body and mind need time to heal from this terrible ordeal it has been through. If you need to talk we are all here to lisen. I hope it helped a little to get some of it out.

 

[sassy_k83]

Thank you for your kind words, was definatley what I needed

 

[rachjim98]

Anytime sweetie anytime!

 

[wantababybump]

So sorry for your loss hun...we are all here if you need to chat. I lost 2 babies one at 10wks and the other at 14 wks..the girls on here are very supportive and will help you loads. xx

 

[Chilli]

Hi Sassy, so sorry to hear your sad news. Rach is right, you can get LOTS of support here and we all know exactly how you feel.
I think headaches is quite a common sympton as is the sleeping problem. Your mind and body have had a tough time and will take time to feel ok again. Try to relax, look after yourself and not worry, you really aren't going mad! It's a terrible and powerful thing to happen which takes it toll physically & emotionally, but you'll be ok and feel free to vent here!!!

 

[sassy_k83]

Thanks girls......

Im really glad I came across this site, I would of never thought to write so personally on a forum like this but it has helped. Im at a stage now that I am ready to talk about it and that bottling it up is going to make recovery harder. I am also aware that despite all the pain I am incredibly lucky to have my lil girl and OH and im sure there are lots of people that have had it much harder than me. So i wanted to give my condolences to everyone who has lost and say what lovely warm site this is

xxxxx

 

[Nicki2202]

Hi
So sorry for your loss, I also suffered a MC a couple of weeks ago at just under 6 weeks, I found tremendous comfort from this site as the ladies on here are all very understanding, and say all the right things. I found it so much easier to speak to everyone on here than to speak to people I know in the flesh..sounds weird but it is how it was for me too.
I was also very unsettled on the sleeping front but it settled after a while. I hope you feel better soon xxxx

 

[sassy_k83]

Im very sorry to hear of your loss Nicki and I couldn't agree more...........i was only saying earlier to my partner how helpful these words were today. i think some friends and family are concerned ofcourse but if the shoe was on the other foot, im not sure what i would say to someone i cared about who had been through this. especially if i hadn't been through it. its something i should remember really.

 

[Shelby2007]

Sweetie.. maybe you need some iron.. that is what my doctor told me and it helped with the headaches.. and your body has been through so much emotionally and physically.. you need rest!

And honey.. you are not alone.. we are all here.. so sorry for you loss

 

[Las78]

Hun, so very sorry for your loss, sending you hugs.

You're not going mad, you've been through a really traumatic time and emotionally you will be all over the place and understandably so, losing a baby is devastating.

After my m/c 6 weeks ago I was just existing for the first couple of weeks, I did what I had to do but other than that the world was carrying on as normal while I was dealing with a grief I had never experienced. Although I bled for 10weeks on and off I didn't ever think it would come to a m/c and I too didn't even think about how it all happened, I was really frightened by it all too. For the first week I found I would wake up every night really soaked from sweating which I don't normally have a problem with, I would have to change my top in the middle of the night, the following week I became really anxious about everything to a point I felt like I couldn't breathe, I would have panick attacks every time I was on my own.
I also ended up with a really stiff shoulder (still plays up occasionally!) from all the tension, I expect your headaches may be a cause of that as well especially if you feel like you can't talk about it.
Other peoples reactions to you are really hard to deal with hun, I feel for you. When I went back to work there was this horrible quietness and people avoided me like the plague, I found that very hard to deal with.

As hard as it is hun, it may be a good thing to talk to your OH and tell him how you feel and ask him to explain it to others so you don't have to. His support will help you get through this hun. I know my OH, even now, if I ask him why he doesn't ever talk about it says it's only because he doesn't want to upset me. I think many of us too have tried to put on a brave face and others think we're doing fine when really we are not and a lot of the time people just don't know what to say so don't say anything which I think is often worse. A girl I worked with chatted to me in the corridor at work a few days after I got back and didn't say a word, I was quite upset about it but when I got back to my desk she had sent me a really nice e-mail to say how sorry she was and that she didn't want to upset me by saying anything.

Please don't feel alone hun, we are all here for you. Please PM me if you ever need to chat or just someone to listen.

 

[sassy_k83]

Gosh las i feel awful for you, i am really sorry for your loss also.

Everything you have said I feel like I can relate to. I was emotionless for the first few weeks until the point I went to be re-scanned at the hospital to check everything had come away. I cant describe the dissapointment and pain i felt that day because it was confirming what I was dreading the most.

People have avoided me too and my partner also said that he doesnt bring it up because he doesnt want to hurt me, but on the same note I dont understand why people want to pretend it didn't happen. One of my closest friends upset me over the weekend by saying "oh it could be worse.... you could of intentionally killed your baby like i did" she had a termination in August last year, and even though it was her decision does that mean my feelings are less valid than hers????!!!!!. I feel like never opening my mouth about it again because now im afraid what people will think and say.

Ive also strained something in my left shoulder. I thought I had slept on it funny but now im struggling to move my head.

Thanks


xxxxx

 

[2ndtimelucky]

Sorry of your loss huni
I had a ectopic pregnancy so i understand a bit what your going through

keep your chin up you`ll get there in the end

 

[todteach]

Sending you big hun. xox So sorry to hear that you have suffered a loss.

I hope that your headaches have eased a little bit. I remember having terrible migraines after both of my miscarriages. Like rachjim98 has said it is your hormone level coming back down (*sorry hun*). As for not getting any rest: well.........it's just so difficult to sleep when your mind is elsewhere. You may consider speaking to your doctor about this, or try some relaxation techniques in the meantime like: deep breathing (the only deep breathing i remember doing was when I was trying to catch my breath when crying) a hot bath, some herbal tea, listening to soothing music. Remember that we're all here for you, if you're up at three in the morning, you might want to see if any of the other girls are online, some of them may not be sleeping either. Could be a good time to vent out some frustration. If they're not awake, you could try writing in a diary or even to your baby: might help get out some of your thoughts, maybe worth a try? Some of the girls have written poetry to their little angels, and it has helped them grieve.

I too went through a difficult time after my miscarriages (I somehow found it a little easier this time, perhaps not quite as shocked that it could happen to me....not too sure) Please give yourself time to grieve, and speak to your OH about your little one often. Don't bottle up your emotions, if you want to scream, cry, yell, throw things........go for it, if your hubby isn't listening, hop on here and we'll listen.

Sending you tons of hugs hun. Try to take care of yourself. We're all thinking of you. xox

 

[k.x]

hey im 16 and i miscarried on thursday and i was 10 weeks. i know exactly how you feel i find it so hard to talk to anyone else, mostly because they have no idea what to say to me and my OH is hurting as much as me and hes doesnt want to upset me even more and its killing him he couldnt protect me and his baby

i have been the same i havent ate of slept since it happened, dossing here and there and when i close me eyes i relive what happened or i sometimes think that i can hear my baby cry for me

but today is the first time i have found this site and i think that it will really help and another thing i found was write a little letter or poem, it makes you feel as though you can send a message to your baby, im not sure how to explain it but it give you a sence of love

you ll be ok, we ll get through it with time x x