What has your OH done about it? Although you have every right to parent your SS when he's in your care- you and OH should work together to help better the situation. Not knowing all the details it's hard to say "why" he's acting out like this- but regardless, he's is old enough to "know better" (just may not have the self control/dicipline to contain his actions)- but, there should be consequences when he doesn't listen- or why would he?
I would suggest you and OH sit down and discuss your options and what you both agree is best for consequences- like no TV or video games or whatever he may be into at this age? With my SD, once she was older, it was her phone. She used to argue over EVERYTHING (I'm not kidding). It got to the point where we tried ignoring, sending her to her room... you name it. But at 9-10 she just didn't have the self control to stop on her own- so, we came up with swift and immediate consequences (whatever made sense at the time).
If she started to argue- I would simply say "this is not a debate, and if you continue this <insert consequence> will be your consequence". That was it. That was her warning- and if she continued, which she often did at first- then the consequence was set. It was within reason of course. And eventually, it got to the point (after she did get a phone)- that all I had to do was hold my hand out and she KNEW that meant her phone was gone if she continued... and she immediately stopped.
Hope you figure out what works soon!
