his mum wants contact?

[tiasmummy]

Hi girls, i have a situation im finding hard to get around. im 32 weeks pregnant and recently left my abusive baby father. i used to go round his mums house for dinner sometimes and she seemed to be a nice enough woman even though my ex blamed all of his probleems on her. anyway, now that we have split his mum is still ringing me asking to meet up, i explained what her son done to me and she said she doesnt want to get involved in our relationship issues she just wants to support me and the baby. fair enough thats nice but i'd prefer she kept her distance until after ive had the baby. even then i dont want her around too often but i dont know how/what to say without being horrible? do any of you have this experience? and do u think its worth letting this woman in my life? oh i should mention my ex wants nothing to do with our baby.

 

[Ceejay123]

If she's willing to keep your ex out of it... And you think she is a nice enough woman.. It's up to you. She could be a good addition to your childs life. Tell her you need some space, but don't spite your LO just because his Dads a jerk, if this woman will be an asset. However, if you think she will cause more hurt and upset.. I.E bullying you into accepting what her son wants.. Then shut her out. You need to do whats best for your child, not her x

 

[resursval]

Hi girls, i have a situation im finding hard to get around. im 32 weeks pregnant and recently left my abusive baby father. i used to go round his mums house for dinner sometimes and she seemed to be a nice enough woman even though my ex blamed all of his probleems on her. anyway, now that we have split his mum is still ringing me asking to meet up, i explained what her son done to me and she said she doesnt want to get involved in our relationship issues she just wants to support me and the baby. fair enough thats nice but i'd prefer she kept her distance until after ive had the baby. even then i dont want her around too often but i dont know how/what to say without being horrible? do any of you have this experience? and do u think its worth letting this woman in my life? oh i should mention my ex wants nothing to do with our baby.

I would be so happy if my FOBs mom was like this. I found her and she closed the door on her own grandchild. All of my FOBs family is turning out to be totally wacko and mental.

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

I agree with Ceejay. If she's honestly just wanting to be there for your LO then fair enough.

But be careful, she could be pasing info on to your ex, or just wanting to bully you into doing whatever.

My knee-jerk reaction is to say no, cos in my experiance mothers are very blind to their children (aren't we all) & its likely she will ignore his faults & tell you its all your fault.

Play it by ear, maybe once a month in a public place or something. After all, she is a grandparent, not a parent & the rules are ofc different.

 

[MissJayde]

My ex in laws are still very active in my kids life. It is a balance you need to find. If you like her and she wants to be a grandparent then let her be. Just because her son is a pain in the ass doesn't mean she doesn't want the best for you bub.
You can keep the two seperate - but it also means you can't sit and bag out your ex for being a jerk. You speak to her about your child, what your child is going through / doing and it can be a very nice relationship.

 

[MommaAlexis]

I got in contact with my FOB's parents, he ran for the hills, not them. Why should they be punished for his decisions? She said she didn't want to get involved in the two of yous relationship, and if she means it and neither of you bring up FOB then I see absolutely no reason why you shouldn't let her be involved. Some women will try to bully you about the break up, but don't just assume she's one of them if she's done nothing to make you think it.

 

[Gunnhilde]

My XH didn't tell his parents he was a father, so I did. He's never seen his LO, but they come and visit and have pictures of her in their house.

Just set really clear boundaries and don't let her disrespect you or your child.

 

[dustbunny]

My ex's mother told me she wanted contact via a "grandmother" role and not to interfere between me and FOB... so I let her in a little... she sent me a nasty letter about how her son is basically amazing and that LO would not get anything until I met up with her face to face.

I would be a tad wary, at the end of the day she is still his mother.

 

[tiasmummy]

yeh dustbunny i do feel shes totally on his side and only trying to sweeten me up to see the baby....im not sure how i feel about that