His or My Last Name ???

[aidensmommy22]

I'm 26 weeks today and of all things not to be sure about, I'm torn about whether or not my baby boy should have his father's or my last name

He will be involved with Aiden but he and I aren't together, and there's not a chance of any kind of reconciliation in that aspect (my choice). It's already been decided that I will have sole custody. I just don't know what I want to do. I already know what the father wants but in his words "It's your decision."

Advice?

 

[xSophieBx]

Really only you can make that decision... I will tell you mine though, I was also like you, couldn't decide, partly because he used to intimidate me and TELL me that she will have his surname... & luckily I woke up to him just before I registered her and I gave her my surname & I'm SO glad I did... I like having the same name as my daughter when we go to the doctors/other appointments etc. & I like her having my family name considering its me and my family that provide her with everything shes ever had/will have. I would hate for her to have his surname now.

You still have a few months to think about it.. just make sure its the right choice for YOU.

 

[xSophieBx]

Also, I've heard that you can have problems taking your child out the country if they haven't got the same surname as you and the dad isn't present.

 

[kirst1805]

Gem has my name, never thought about her having his. Thats a choice only you can make although as the PP said.. I love her having my name, Its so much easier for me personally.

xxx

 

[bumphenders]

I'm in your situation, FOB wants Elliot to take his last name, but we wont ever be together so Elliot will take my last name, and if FOB decides (again) that he doesn't want too see Elliot, then its less complication for the future
If I have children in the future, I don't want us all to take different names...

Its your choice, but thats how it is from my point of view

 

[cluelessnow]

I've been thinking the same thing and have 80% decided to use my surname as FOB is planning to stay away in another country and doesn't want to be with me or baby. It just makes it easier. FOB may just visit once a year if that. Don't want son to grow up and people keep asking why he's got a different surname but no father around. It'll just be a reminder to son that his father chose a lifestyle over his own son. It's up to you.

 

[teal]

My ex isn't involved so my son has my surname. I think that regardless of fob being around I would still have given my surname. xx

 

[sienarose]

My daughter has my last name and i am so glad. My ex and I were still together at the time but it didnt bother him either way so I chose mine

 

[Lemonflower]

I'm 23 weeks pregnant and not with FOB. My son will have my name, I'm glad of this!!
Your decision though hun! Xxx

 

[ImaMale]

Me and my ex separated during her pregnancy, although we're friends now and i see my little boy twice a week (2 week old) im a bit gutted he doesnt have my surname, especially as he is the first boy in my family for 25 years (since me) in one aspect it makes her look married, in another aspect it makes her look like she doesnt know who the father is, be careful and considerate and don't intentionally give him your name if it's because you feel anger towards the father.

 

[Ginger84]

My husband left me when i was 6 months pregnant and i knew that i didnt want to have a different name to my baby, but i also didn't want to keep my married name as it felt wrong. I changed my name by deed poll back to my maiden name and named my baby with that surname too. Im glad i did but as the others say its a personal choice that only you can make.

 

[lily2011]

My baby girl has my last name...for me it wasn't even an option, even though my last name is kind of funny!

 

[Leah_xx]

I was with FOB when Gracelynn was born and she got his last name. We broke up when she was like 6 months old and still has his name,

 

[judge12]

I'm 26 weeks today and of all things not to be sure about, I'm torn about whether or not my baby boy should have his father's or my last name

He will be involved with Aiden but he and I aren't together, and there's not a chance of any kind of reconciliation in that aspect (my choice). It's already been decided that I will have sole custody. I just don't know what I want to do. I already know what the father wants but in his words "It's your decision."

Advice?

He should take your name.

 

[dustbunny]

I think the baby should take your name.

 

[angelpkj]

i am so so so so glad LO has my last name
i was so torn about the choice,dispite me n fob apart and no plans of gettin back together a part of me still wanted LO to have fobs last name

7 months on my choice for LO to have my last name has proved the right choice,FOB doesn't see LO and has made very poor efforts to be involved in his life or be a dad

personally i wish i hadn't put FOB on the birth certificate,i wish i had waited till fob proved he was a father before giving him that title

 

[aidensmommy22]

Wow, I didn't realize there were so many women (and even men!) in a similar, if not the same, situation. Thank you all so much for the advice and input.

It's a bit of a tough decision, though :-/ bc I don't want the FOB to think I would keep my surname compared to his just to spite him. I'm proud of my name and I'll be taking care of my bundle on my own with minimal help from him for now due to the lack of stability in his life. I wouldn't be denying him any kind of fatherly rights or anything like that, he will be on the certificate. Another main concern is that if I choose to have more children in the future, I don't want to deal with the confusion and questions from people of 'Why doesn't Aiden have your husband's last name?' I know and they know it's none of their business but they'll ask anyway.

I'm also afraid that if I keep my surname, he'll completely flip sh!t and jump ship, claiming not to be the father, wanting nothing to do with him, etc. He reacts rashly that way (lucky me, right?).

Idk... I still have some time. But I'm leaning towards giving him mine thank you all again for the wonderful advice.

 

[angelpkj]

FOB went mental when i told him i wasnt givin LO his surname

its scary but if i let what he thought make my choice
i would of regretted it