home birth after traumatic 1st birth

[mrssmith0]

So here's the situation...

I had my first daughter in May 2012-- I had a natural hospital birth but she was breech, aspirated meconium, came out flat/not breathing (really low apgars past 10 minutes) and spent 11 days in the NICU. She is perfect now, nothing that would indicate she had such a rough start, just really terrible memories.

We had planned a home birth with her but once she went breech at 32 weeks and stayed that way our plans changed and we had a hospital birth.

I am now 19 weeks pregnant with number 2 and I really want a home birth this time but my husband is terrified after seeing the way she was born and the interventions that were taken to resuscitate her after she was born not to mention the huge mess that was everywhere due to the meconium and waters breaking in hospital!

Other then the things that happened after she was born the rest of the birth was great-- no pain meds/epidural, not induced, labour about 7 hours start to finish, no tearing or stitches.

Does anyone have any advice or information that I can have him read to help convince him that birth at home can be a safe option as long as baby is coming out the right way and there is no meconium in the waters? I feel like a birth at home would be a lot more calm for me and baby and it's something I would really like to be able to consider.

Thank you all so much!! xoxoxo

 

[BunnyN]

I found this site to be a great general resource site and shared some of the information with my husband who was initially worried about the safety of HB:
https://www.homebirth.org.uk/

I can understand why your husband has concerns after your experience last time, it must have been traumatic for you both. You may also be surprised how much is available at a HB in case of an emergency. My MW carried oxygen, some drugs and was trained in infant resuscitation. Often much of what is done in hospital can be done at home, at least until an ambulance comes.

 

[Viola Payne]

It's surprising but there are actually fewer rates of complications at homebirths for low risk mothers.

"Contrary to what the researchers were expecting, the rate of serious complications was lower for women who gave birth at home, provided that this wasn't their first child."

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/...h-might-be-safer-for-low-risk-mothers/276863/

This is a peer reviewed medical study. I for one will be trying a homebirth as i believe it is safer. Hopefully numbers can convince your dh, if that can't then i don't know what can.

Edit: The study says it's safer for mothers but i believe it's safer for babies too.

 

[spinneybaby]

We just had a homebirth for #2 and despite a super long labour it was amazing.
My dh was hesitant at first too cause ds had his heart rate drop severely and was a forceps / episiotomy emergency delivery withthe cord wrapped tightly around his neck. But after this birth he wouldnt want it any other way...its so much more relaxing for everyone when u r in your own environment! And he saw how much better i was afterwards.

 

[kanga]

Stalking as I'm 17 weeks with number 2 and also planning a hb after a traumatic first. Everything I've read supports hb being less risky ESP if you're not having complications. I also have a doula for extra support this time round, maybe look into one also? They can support dh too x

 

[Kat541]

I have pretty much the same story, only my son spent 22 days in the NICU and wasn't breech. He had been so severe, he nearly died three times during the night.
This time I chose a different doctor, an ND, and she explained to me that meconium is not always dangerous and severe meconium aspiration is actually rare. Breech does not rule out homebirth either, and does not mean there will be meconium. She suggested I use spinningbabies.com advice again this pregnancy to spin my baby. At any sign of fetal distress during labor, she will have me transported to the hospital and will stay with me there. She also wants to notified immediately when my contractions start, because she says after the first kid, the second can come very quickly.
I can tell my husband is leery as well, but I think he also feels it's against the odds of having two traumatic births in a row. I don't know about you, but I am really wanting to redeem my pregnancy and birth this time around, and want the most polar opposite of my last experience. Homebirth would satisfy that, and I would regret not doing that for myself. I don't think men can fully feel that in their heart the way the woman who lived it can.