Home Birth - So Frustrating!

[sunnylove]

In my state I believe midwives attending home births is no longer illegal, but allegal, meaning there is no regulation. (I think.) On any account, you cannot just Google midwives in your area and it is illegal for certified nursing midwives to attend home births (CNMs you can Google).

Thankfully though, I do have some connections and the two women "in the know" both directed me to a midwife who lives about 40 miles from me. Okay, great. She of course, has no information online or anything, but I e-mail her just to see if she would consider taking us on. In my state there is no "wait" for a homebirthing midwife, they are usually eager to have someone to work for. I e-mail her, and about a day later she e-mails me back and asks "What can I do for you?" Two hours later I send her an e-mail with my information and asking if she would consider working with me. That was 3 DAYS AGO and she still has not responded.

This is really starting to bother me because for once this whole pregnancy I thought there was finally some headway on our birthing plan. (I've never seen a doctor, we're in between healthcares, my state doesn't have pregnancy healthcare if you make over a certain amount etc.) We can easily pay the midwife out of pocket and I can have my homebirth.

I mean, why hasn't she contacted me?? The first time she contacted me back within a day. Doesn't she want work? Did the e-mail slip through the cracks? Wouldn't she know how frustrating and even slightly heart-wrenching something like this would be to a pregnant lady?? Ugh!!!

Sorry, mostly just a rant.

 

[EmmaRea]

Its truly remarkable how different things can be depending on which state you live in.

Maybe she's busy attending another birth, or she was away from home for the holiday weekend? I know its so exciting to get things going, but I'd give her another little while before you get frustrated.

 

[BunnyN]

I'd try contacting her again. Send another e-mail to say you just wanted to check she got your last one and you are looking forward to hearing from her and maybe ask if there is a phone number you can contact her on to be able to talk 'in person'.

 

[fionar]

^^What those ladies said. Try her again, midwives get *really* busy, and as annoying as it may be now, 10 week mama is trumped by 39 week mama in labor.

I had similar frustrations with my first son and my midwife before she got her birth center open - lots of canceled/rescheduled appointments because of other clients going in to labor. Which is WONDERFUL and I was certainly made more of a priority later in my pregnancy, but early on when there's not much they're able to do for you, I got bumped pretty often. Hang in there and try her again, I'm sure she's not ignoring you on purpose.

 

[Natasha1988]

I can't believe the ignorance of this woman, what an uneducated and rude remark to make. This is your baby and those are two completely natural things you want to do. Ignore the silly woman! Good luck with your plans for birth x x

 

[fionar]

I can't believe the ignorance of this woman, what an uneducated and rude remark to make. This is your baby and those are two completely natural things you want to do. Ignore the silly woman! Good luck with your plans for birth x x

Wait, what? What remarks were made that were rude? I'm lost...

 

[BunnyN]

I think that comment must have been for another thread?

 

[fionar]

I think that comment must have been for another thread?

I'm guessing... I reread OP's post to make sure the midwife hadn't said something rude in the first response and didn't come up with anything, and didn't think anyone else's replies were out of line, so I was curious.

Ah, mommybrain.

 

[sunnylove]

The midwife finally got back to me after I sent her a follow up e-mailing making sure she got my last message. She wrote me back pretty quickly the same day and said that she doesn't really use e-mail unless she's at home (funny thing was she sent me this e-mail on her smartphone). She gave me an appointment date that would work for her because she was going through the area, but I work all day (literally from 7am to 7pm) and can't take off as my work is 40 miles away and she didn't give me a specific time.

So I told her days that work better for me and even suggested I could possibly meet her at her house sometime because my work, and where she lives is very close to the other. Buuut, that was 3 days ago and she never got back to me.

This is, like I said, exceedingly frustrating because I know that midwives don't have too much concern for pregnant women who are still in their first trimester. Like, I understand that. But at the same time, I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY BIRTH PLAN HERE. If she doesn't work out, I have to figure out something totally different because she is one of the only midwives anywhere around here! Why can't she understand THAT?

Maybe I'm overreacting. When she said she doesn't do e-mail much she asked for my phone number, which I gave, and she has never contacted me. I'm already very put off by her because she has given me no attention.

 

[BunnyN]

To be honest three days doesn't sound that long to me, especially if she already suggested a day that's not good for you, she probably has a busy schedule too, but I can understand how it must be really frustrating when you are desperate to get an idea of your plans. I'd say to send her another reminder and ask if any of the days you suggested are good for her, and maybe explain the situation to her that if she doesn't work out you will have to take a very different direction so you are anxious to get together with her as soon as possible, she might just not understand that there is a hurry from your point of view.

 

[floatingbaby]

I would stop emailing altogether. GET HER PHONE NUMBER and call her! Once you have a chance to talk on the phone you can get all your questions out and set a date and make some actual progress. That is the problem with email, you ask one question and maybe wait days for the answer, then when the answer does come it might not be what you want so you send another one... and it gets really annoying!

I would take a deep breath, find her number and give her a call, and then start fresh with her

 

[misspriss]

Are you still in Florida? Everything I have read states that Florida licenses midwives (direct-entry), even allows them Medicaid reimbursement. I have had no trouble finding Florida midwives online? In fact, the Florida Department of Health lists them, go here:

https://ww2.doh.state.fl.us/IRM00PRAES/PRASLIST.ASP

and select "midwifery" under profession. It brings up 142 currently practicing. Perhaps you could find someone else who serves your area?

If you are not longer in Florida, I apologize!

 

[sunnylove]

Florida is not the state I live in.

 

[misspriss]

Florida is not the state I live in.

Sorry! I was just looking by your name!

Join Date: Aug 2012
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I would be happy to help look elsewhere, but if you don't want to share where you live that is fine too, I was just trying to help!