How bad is labour and birth...???

[CordeliaJ]

I'm a bit scared to ask this because of the answers you girls might give, but I feel I have to ask anyway.
I want to know about labour and the pain of labour. I know every birth and pregnancy is different and I know that it's always painful in some way or other.

I guess what I really want to know is, is the pain of labour manageable? I know we will all manage and get through it, but does it actually feel manageable when you are going through it?
I once went through a horrible procedure in that area which I'd rather not talk about, and the pain was so awful I wanted to die, I was screaming and begging them to stop - that sort of pain for me is not manageable (despite the fact I somehow got through it), and it has scared me for life. I keep having anxiety attacks about labour and I don't even know which part is the worst.

Ladies, be honest with me, what should I expect? I need to prepare myself because one way or another I need to get through this. Thanks for any info or advice you can give me.

 

[momto3kiddies]

well like you said all women labor different as well as have different tolarance for pain but I have done this 4 times already and I will say for me its the most painful thing I have experienced. I have broken my ankle and needed screw and a plate and I have suffered gallstone attacks and that was nothing in comparison to labor for me. If you go into labor naturally is starts off totally manageable but as you progress it gets worse. I have always opted for some type of pain meds to deal and the stuff they put in the IV for me sucked but the epidural was heaven sent! my last baby I had an epidural and was laughing and watching tv with my hubby the whole time I labored, when it came time to push I felt nothing at all...was great! Now some woman do it natural with no drugs and feel that is best for them...more power to them...I wouldnt. I guess you just have to do whats best for you...dont worry about it too much once your in labor you can see how you handle it and what way you want to labor...whether with drugs or not you still end up with the same precious baby

 

[katiefx]

For me it was nowhere near as bad as I expected or as bad as anyone had made out. The pain is managable, even though at the time I was begging for pain relief, but that was mostly because my labour came on thick and fast lasting only 1 hour 47 minutes, with no build up of contractions so I didn't have time to get used to it. There was just an hour between me asking for pain relief and giving birth. So most of labour is totally managable in my opinion! I suffer from severe period pains and very bad IBS pains and they are much worse than the contractions I felt. I think being scared and getting worked up doesn't help with the pain. Gas and air made a huge difference for me as I got close to delivering. I don't think I could have done the end of labour without it. I know alot of women say the pushing is the worst part but honestly I didn't even feel much pain. I've had UTI's that have burnt worse than the head being delivered. It was more exhausting than anything! As soon as my son was born I felt a huge relief and I was ecstatic, I said from minutes after giving birth I'd do it all again. I actually enjoyed the experience, and can't wait to do it all again this December! I know I'm really lucky though and some people have a tough time. Techniques such as breathing etc help so much. It is totally doable and pain relief is always there if you need it, once you see your baby you completely forget what you've just been through. It's so worth it. xx

 

[Seity]

Yes, no, maybe. Every labor is different.
My first the labor was manageable for a while in the early stages and then it most definitely was not manageable once I hit active labor. However, the drugs were fantastic and I'm no martyr, so I had a fantastic labor as soon as I got the drugs. I can't recommend them highly enough.
My second labor was even faster than my first and the early stage didn't even rate mentioning on the pain scale. Honestly, I've had worse pains from gas. Once it kicked into high gear it was barely manageable and I would have preferred the drugs, but there was no time because by that point I was already 10 cm. So I had 100% zero pain relief of any kind with that one, but active labor also only lasted 45 minutes.
Having done it both ways, I highly recommend getting the drugs unless you think it's going to be less than 30 minutes till the baby is out once it gets really bad.
Both times my baby came out in 2 pushes.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Honestly, it's so hard to explain what it feels like. For me, it hurt a lot but I never felt like I couldn't manage the pain. When the midwife took my blood afterwards I was writhing in pain and begging her to stop . You have so much adrenaline and excitement during labour which makes it easier to cope, and pain relief available of course! I had gas and air both times and I love it! Have you looked into hypno birthing? I haven't used it but I've read some really positive birth stories from ladies who had pain free births using it!
If you haven't already I'd recommend checking out positive birth stories in the birth story section, or watching positive births on Youtube, to reassure you that birth can be an awesome experience!

 

[happymummax]

My labour was really fast and there was no break between my contractions, before I was given gas and air I honestly thought I was dying. One thing that helped before the g&a was breathing (lady in labour breathing )but that took me a while to get a hang of because I didn't bother going to antenatal classes or know a thing about labour

I'd recommend going to antenatal classes, I'm sure that would have helped me and saved everyone on the labour ward hearing me screaming that I'm dying

You'll get through it don't worry xx

 

[VmrsbabcockV]

I was like u..completely and utterly terrified..I didn't want to be induced bc I thot it would b so much worse.. didn't want the epidural cuz I heard it prolongs labor and pushing and bc I didn't like the idea of having a catheter...was terrified of the pain of crowning and that I'd tear.

Well my waters started leaking around 1pm may 8th and I was having mild period like pains..I went for a walk ate some lunch took a nap and then when I got up to go to the bathroom and wiped it was pink colored. So I called my dr who told me to go to l&d. Hubby came home and MIL came over n we got to the hospital around 4. Still not in any real pain at this point. Well my dr decided to induce me since my waters were going and he didn't want me to have a dry labor. I was scared but honestly the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy were so uncomfortable I just wanted him out! They started pitocin at 430ish and upped the dose every half hour..they got stronger but I didn't even ask for iv meds until about 4 hours into the pitocin..and only bc I wanted to nap to have evergy to push not bc they were unmanageable. The iv meds were awesome..I got a second dose at like..1am. By then the contractions were painful I had to breathe and moan a bit through them but honestly still manageable I wasnt screaming in pain by any means and could still keep my body pretty relaxed through them..by about 3am I asked for an epidural only bc I didn't know hoe much longer I would be in labor and I didn't want to be too tired from breathing/managing contractions to push him...when I got the epi they honestly still weren't horrid..having strep in my stomach/intestines was way worse...well by 6am I was feeling a lot of pressure I got checked was fully dilated and crying for my dr...by 615am I was pushing..he was born in 4 pushes no tears or anything and the relief from the intense pressure overshadowed any pain from crowning...I honestly can't even remember the actual pain from crowning or the ring of fire or anything I only rememver the pressure and it felt like I had to take a huge poo more than anything and yhe relief when he came out was awesome lol. If I'd known my labor was only gonna be another few hours I wouldnt have bothered getting the epi I couldve managed.

I was very happy with my experience it wasn't at all what I expected! Don't be too scared I know its hard but I honestly feel silly now with how much time I spent freaking out. The more relaxed u r the better it will go.

Good luck!

 

[Lady H]

I coped on only a couple of paracetamol for a long while, but then gas and air. Unfortunately I dilated quickly and could not have an epidural as it was too late. I honestly was asking for one at that point. Once you get to the pushing stage though the pain changes and its more a pushing sensation than actual pain. It's more focused and feels like its achieving something. I'm a complete wuss but I managed ok. My birth story is in the journal link of my signature if you feel up to readng it. Good luck, you'll be great!

 

[Mrs Cupcake]

it must depend on each woman's individual pain threshold etc so our stories probably won't help you.

I found labour quite manageable, i got to 8cm with no pain relief at all and just breathed through it. I then had some gas and air. For me it was no where near as bad as i thought it would be. I remember the midwife saying 'with the next push baby will be here' and i remember thinking that i had nearly done it and it wasnt as bad as i thought. I was prepared for worse!!

i suffer from IBS and i find that much more painful and unmanageable. I often faint from the pain and was very worried about labour but it was nothing compared to IBS! lol.

I think mental attitude makes a big difference.

I am just hoping that my next labour goes as well as my first!

 

[tristansmum]

I just gave birth 3 days ago so its still fresh in my mind and I'm not going to lie it hurt so much. My contractions came out of nowhere though so I didn't have time to adjust. But it was quick 4cm to pushing was 2 hours. I used gas and air which was amazing. During the labour it felt like it was the worst thing ever but you get your baby at the end so its s positive experience. Yes its the worst pain I've ever experienced but I'm not traumatided by it. Your previous experience was a negative one but birth will be different because you get baby at the end and mother nature quickly erases it from your memory.

 

[solitaire89]

How bad is labour and birth? Honest answer, not bad at all. I had a completely pain free and drug free labour and home birth using Natal Hypnotherapy (birth story in siggy if you're interested). It was intense, yes, but not painful. The other thing that was great about the Natal Hypnotherapy was that it removed all the fear that I was feeling about the birth. I would highly recommend it!

 

[MrsTurner2012]

At the time I cried like a baby and wanted my mum!

But you just cope! We're designed too and something inside you just takes over!

If it was that bad we wouldn't carry on doing it over and over!

Good luck!x

 

[mannymoo]

I gave birth a week ago and can honestly say it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Mine was also quick - I was induced at 9am and baby was in my arms at 13h55. I did ask for the epidural and although it only worked on one side for me, it totally took the edge off and made everything more bearable. My biggest fears were tearing and the epidural needle and I can honestly say I didn't feel either of those. You will be fine and don't hesitate to ask for pain relief when you need it. Good luck. X

 

[Lady H]

it must depend on each woman's individual pain threshold etc so our stories probably won't help you.

I found labour quite manageable, i got to 8cm with no pain relief at all and just breathed through it. I then had some gas and air. For me it was no where near as bad as i thought it would be. I remember the midwife saying 'with the next push baby will be here' and i remember thinking that i had nearly done it and it wasnt as bad as i thought. I was prepared for worse!!

i suffer from IBS and i find that much more painful and unmanageable. I often faint from the pain and was very worried about labour but it was nothing compared to IBS! lol.

I think mental attitude makes a big difference.

I am just hoping that my next labour goes as well as my first!

I've passed out from IBS cramps too!

 

[twiggy327]

Honestly, after the labor and delivery was worse for me. The healing and soreness sucked the most. I had an epidural tho and labor progressed really fast (3 hours total) so I didnt feel much as far as tearing and contractions but healing for the first few weeks was torture for me. Make sure you remember to take home your sitz bath!! life saver!

 

[BrieAnne]

I agree with the last poster, the soreness and recovery were the worst for me too! I was induced bc I was terrified I wouldn't make it to the hospital in time, so I preferred to plan it and have a little control over the situation. They started around 9am and it went so quickly they stopped the pitocin to try to wait for the dr who was delivering twins a few doors down. I didn't want to feel the pushing part and I had always planned on having an epidural, but I waited as long as I could for the epidural so that if there is ever a "next time", I wanted to know what real contractions felt like. So I made it to 7cm then the anesthesiologist couldn't get in there fast enough! lol For me it was like super period cramps but even though they stopped the pitocin, my contractions were one on top of another so no breaks. After getting the epidural, I didn't feel a thing. The nurse kept saying "this isn't going to take long, try not to push until the dr gets here." Then about 30 minutes of pushing, baby was out and I didn't feel a thing! I couldn't believe it! So great! I had a small tear - which I didn't feel it happen or the stitches afterward. Was just really sore for like 2 months. Good luck, no matter what your experience, you will be ok.

 

[katiefx]

it must depend on each woman's individual pain threshold etc so our stories probably won't help you.

I found labour quite manageable, i got to 8cm with no pain relief at all and just breathed through it. I then had some gas and air. For me it was no where near as bad as i thought it would be. I remember the midwife saying 'with the next push baby will be here' and i remember thinking that i had nearly done it and it wasnt as bad as i thought. I was prepared for worse!!

i suffer from IBS and i find that much more painful and unmanageable. I often faint from the pain and was very worried about labour but it was nothing compared to IBS! lol.

I think mental attitude makes a big difference.

I am just hoping that my next labour goes as well as my first!

I've passed out from IBS cramps too!

They are horrendous pains! Mine are so much worse during this pregnancy! x

 

[MindUtopia]

It's totally manageable! Everyone says labour is the 'worst pain they've ever felt'. It's so not! I've had two knee surgeries and was sick with pneumonia and in hospital a few years ago. THAT was the worst pain ever. Labour is intense and hard work (as in I was squatting for 4 hours on and off, which really tired my legs out), but the pain is completely manageable. I had a home birth with no pain relief other than just a TENS machine. It was fine. Not scary or unmanageable at all. I did do hypnotherapy to prepare me for birth though and I think that made a tremendous difference. If you are someone who is really nervous about giving birth or about pain, then I'd highly recommend it. Also, if it helps to compare, I had a cervical exam during birth so they could measure how dilated I was (I was fully dilated at the time, it turned out) and THAT was the most painful part of birth. Contractions and crowning were nothing in comparison, if that gives you an idea and something to compare to your own experience with your procedure. I sure as hell will not be consenting to another exam in my next birth (it wasn't necessary, I knew I was ready to push anyway). But I also don't plan to use any pain relief the next time either. I just don't need it and you might find you don't either. So try to relax and feel positive about it all. It will make a huge difference.

 

[Louise88]

My labour was a walk in the park compared to the weeks leading up to it (terrible heartburn, spewing after every meal etc.) and the 6 weeks after the birth (sore bits where I got cut, sleep deprived etc.) but I had a really easy labour and was only in horrible pain when I was 7cm dilated and on my was to hospital once I had the gas and air the rest just passed in a flash and I can't remember feeling any pain during giving birth except for when the midwife cut my bits with some scissors because I was going to tear anyways. You'll be fine

 

[CordeliaJ]

Mindutopia - I assumed they did regular cervical checks anyway just to see how dilated you are. How do they know when you're at 10cm and ready to push otherwise? This is interesting as I never would've thought to refuse a cervical exam, just assumed it was part of the process..