How can I "ignore" my cycle?

[baileybubs]

Hi there,

Me and dh have decided to go back to ntnp as I have been getting too upset actively TTC. Short version is dh has always had difficultly climaxing, which has never really been an issue until we started TTC. He enjoys dtd and we have always just had fun, but now it's kind of important that he closes the deal and for the last 4 months he's only managed to do it once during my fertile period. We've dtd on other occasions when I know I haven't been in my fertile period and he has managed to, but I'm getting so upset by how this issue is limiting our chances. But I don't think I'm helping by being so aware of the time when we need to be achieving it. I don't make him aware by talking about it but usually after what I think is our last attempt and he still doesn't climax I can't help but get really upset!
This week I just had a meltdown and couldn't help but cry after we'd dtd on what I'm sure was O day, and I know this won't be helping at all as it's more pressure!
So basically I want to be able to ignore my cycle but have no idea how I can do this.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this before? Any advice?

I'm trying really hard to relax about it but the more I tell myself to relax the more it's all I can think about!

TIA for reading

 

[happycupcake]

If you're super in tune with your body then I don't know how you would ignore it. If you were relying on apps, taking temperatures, opks etc. then stop all of them and just go for it when the mood takes you both. Your body is pretty good at signalling when the time is right, I know my drive goes through the roof when it's around ovulation but there have been many times I haven't realised it at first! You could put the focus on making each other feel good about each other, just about you two, like going out together, making an extra special effort at home with dinners and stuff, relaxing and unwinding in a warm bath together, giving each other massages and stuff. If you can get him to relax well and truly, and concentrate on enjoying the moment and getting lost in it, you may have more chance of him being able to finish and at the right time too

 

[baileybubs]

Thanks happycupcake, I think more time just the two of us may be well needed and maybe a date night might be a good idea.

I think me relaxing about it more will help him relax too and at least help him become less aware of when my fertile time might be.

 

[luz]

My husband had difficulty too. Perhaps you could track, but not obsessively? I can always know I'm ovulating because of ewcm. Your husband doesn't need to know when ovulation is happening , but if you knew perhaps you could initiate things and he wouldn't feel the stress and pressure?

 

[baileybubs]

It's been me knowing that's making it obvious I think as I tend to want to dtd more, so I'm trying to dtd more often the rest of the month. Illness is putting a stop to that at the mo though and AF will be due shortly so hoping to be better at it next month!

 

[luz]

Good luck

 

[xxmyheartxx]

I tried this at some point last year, though I know when I'm ovulating so it's hard lol! Good luck! xx

 

[BSN2MOM]

I think you are on the right track with DTD more often in the month and not just during fertile window. For sure stop all apps, maybe even take a break from this site for a month (I did this exact thing last month). I hope you get your peace of mind and a BFP too!