How can something you never knew hurt you so much?

[hannah88]

I am 21 yers old and i didn't realise i was pregnant until the day i found out i had a miscarriage.
I've been feeling really ill for a couple of months and just put it down to bugs going around.
On Thursday i started having a browny colour discharge but just thought it was my period which was on time, by Saturday i started to get cramps at 5am Sunday morning i woke up in agony from severe stomache pains in my lower stomache, i was in sooo much pain and couldn't stop myself from being sick, i tried to take pain killers but as soon as they touched my lips i had to reach for the toilet, i was in constant contraction pains until 8pm guessing my body thought i was in labour?? i was bleeding alot and thought i had the sickness bug! at 1am on monday i went to the toilet and i felt something come out of me! I completely freaked out, I looked over and I knew straight away what it was but was in denial, it was about the same size as a tennis ball, but a different shape. I don't know why but I had to get it out of the toilet. I kept it in a tub next to me i told my sister and mum the next day and they told me to go to the dotors, where it confirmed i was pregnant! and had a miscarriage i couldn't stop myself from crying i didnt tell anyone till later on. I went to hospital on the tuesday to confirm it and they took my tub away from me. I didnt want a baby but i am so hurt, i returned to work the next day and have now been at work for 2days i feel exausted and drained. Maybe i shouldn't have gone to work so soon, but i felt ok and havn't been bleeding since. I don't no if i am able to take time off now though? I was on the ovrenette pill when i fell pregnant! My boyfriend just doesnt understand he seems to think of it as a relief that he doesnt have a baby, im so confused maybe he just isn't for me? My work colleagues don't seem to care they probably think it's funny that it has happened to me! They are still bossing me around and getting me to work so hard, it is making me not want to be at work at all! I just want to fade away...

 

[rachjim98]

A Lot of different emotions come out at this time and all the ones you are feeling are natural. I am so sorry that you boyfriend dosen't understand a lot of them don't. As for him being the one for you or not only you can answer that. Maybe this is something you two should discuss in detail. I hope your Mom and sister are being some help to you now? Again so sorry for your Loss

 

[toby2]

Hannah I am so sorry you are going through this-it hurts because you still have had a loss whether you knew or not and not knowing must have made the shock huge. I would think it is going to take a while to sink in for you. I had two weeks off work after my m/c and i needed every day of it-your body and your head have been through alot and you need time to get better. Dont go to work tomorrow if you still feel like that, go to your dr, explain what has hapeened, how you are feeling and explain that you cant cope with work at the moment and asked to be signed off, i cant imagine any circumstances under which they could say no. Give youself some time and space and chat to people when you feel like it and it will help with the hurt. My hospital offered counselling which i found really useful, maybe yours does too?
look after yourself, you have been through alot

 

[DiddyDons]

I am so sorry for your loss

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[Las78]

Honey, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Losing a baby is one of the hardest things in life.

Your hormones are all over the place right now hun and that is going to affect how you feel, can you perhaps book some holiday from work or even just tell them what has happened and how you feel, I guess that depends on the kind of people you work for.
Take no notice of the others, they probably have no idea what it's like and I hope they never have to find out because I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Right now you have to take good care of yourself, your body has just gone through a huge change and I guess you're feeling emotions that you may never have felt before (I know mine surprised me).

If you need to talk, please pm me.

 

[Schmelly]

I think you need some time off hun. Go see your doc and get him to sign you off or something. You have had a tremendous shock and need time to heal physically and emotionally.

Good luck

 

[Rebaby]

I'm so sorry for your loss I don't think it necessarily always makes a difference whether you knew about your pregnancy or not- or for how long, you will still feel the terrible loss.

I would definitely recommend taking some time off work to allow yourself time to grieve properly. Even if the people at work aren't very understanding you have the right to some sick leave after what you have been through

 

[thingy]

I would take some time off just to gather yourslef i'm 4 weeks on and still feel its hard

 

[bklove]

Everyone has pretty much said it, take some time and be good to yourself. Even if its a day or a few hours, you'll need it as it does take its toll on you physically and emotionally. I am sorry you had to expereince this and know we are here for you to let all those feelings out.