How do I convince my OH into having a home birth??

[Nosy_Cow]

We had a discussion early on about a home birth and he was really up for it. I mentioned it to my MW yesterday and she said as long as my 20 week scan is clear she shouldn't see a problem with a home birth. I've got to go back just after my 20 week scan to see her and if we're still up for it we will be referred to the home birthing team who will take over my care.

I told OH all this last night and now he's not so sure. He keeps saying things like "I'd prefer you in a hospital!" and "What if something goes wrong?" I've tried explaining to him that I'll have 2 MW's present at the birth with a bottle of gas & air. I've told him if anything went wrong the MW's would make sure I'd get to the hospital quickly and that I can back out of it at any stage!

I think his main reason is because I had a long and hard labour with our first daughter. She was an ethical prenatal loss at 25 weeks. I was in labour for 14 hours after being induced and was pretty out of it for most of that time. But I had the choice of drugs then and I will only have gas and air this time so hopefully won't be so out of it! Also I'm hoping for a hynobirth this time!

2 slight problems we do have - we live in a 2nd floor flat (2 flights of stairs) and the hospital is 30 minutes drive away.

Have you got any tips on trying to convince him a home birth is better? Or should I be considering a hospital birth - baring in mind the stairs and drive? Should I give in to him and have a hospital birth?

Sorry for the long post!

 

[Bingo]

I'm not sure how you convince your OH. Mine isn't keen either. I think he's more worried that I'll make too much noise when in labour and disturb the neighbours (we're in a flat too). I'd like a home birth and the good thing is that the hospital is only down the road and I've also explained to him that I can change my mind at any point and be transfered to either the birthing unit (if there is space) at the hospital or to the labour ward in the hospital for stronger pain relief if I decide I need it. I think it's a good idea just to keep the lines of communication open and talk about it with him a lot. Maybe look online for some reading material for him so you can reassure him that home births are very safe for the vast majority.

Good luck.

 

[Celesse]

When I transferred I walked to the ambulance, with the midwife walking next to me carrying the gas and air. I think in most (but not all) transfer scenario's you would be able to walk to the ambulance, including the stairs. Is it 30 min drive in a blue light ambulance, or just a normal car drive? I made fantastic time during my blue light transfer with all the traffic moving out of the way for us and running all the traffic lights.

I would talk to your OH and find out what his reason's are for worrying. There has to be an added elemental of worry following a loss. In theory your next labour should be easier as if you are at home it will not be induced.

 

[Pops]

I honestly don't think Id try and convince him as such. I would give him snippets of information to take in at his own pace and carry on discussing all sorts of options for now. Is there maybe a Birth Centre at your local hospital as a happy medium?

We are having a HB but I can hand on heart say that if Boyo had not been totally on board, I wouldn't have pushed. I know he would have had his reasons and it is his baby too, my body yes, but our baby so he would have a say. Thankfully, from day one we were both on board and have stayed that way but had either of us waivered, we would have discussed and probably gone down the Birth Centre route.

I would start with looking at some births at home on YouTube etc and show him how calm and lovely they are compared to the screaming you see on telly constantly.

Good luck and I hope you get the birth you want and deserve

xxx

 

[lozzy21]

I explaned to my OH that were i in hospital i could be sharing my midwife with 4/5 other women and she would only stay with me once i got to 10cm and was ready to push, up untill then she would only be popping in and out. At home you have a midwife with you constantly from about 4/5 cm so if there were any problems they would be picked up a lot sooner at home than in hospital.

Your also less likely to have issues at home, stats show there is less intervention needed at home birth. The only things they cant do at home is an epi or a section. They are prepared for everything else.

 

[Sophist]

I don't think I would be comfortable having such a long distance to the hospital TBH.

My Dh was apprehensive at first, but after talking with mw's and reading information about it, he came around really fast and now he's probably more pro-home birth than I am!

 

[Nosy_Cow]

Sorry I never replied to your answers. First of all thank you for replying. His mum had a HB with her 4th child and keeps telling OH how much better it is while I pump him with bits of information here and there. We'll see - I've got 4 weeks before the decision has to be made to transfer me to the HB Team but even then I can change back!

Is it 30 min drive in a blue light ambulance, or just a normal car drive?

It's a normal car drive 30 minutes and that's it moderate traffic - if it's light traffic you could probably do it in 20-25 minutes depending on traffic lights!

Is there maybe a Birth Centre at your local hospital as a happy medium?

No Birth Centre unfortunatley.

I don't think I would be comfortable having such a long distance to the hospital TBH.

This is my major worry.

After my anamoly scan I'll speak to my MW more indepth about it (and have OH in on the conversation too!).

Thanks again - I didn't want to leave it at that and you all think I was ignoring you! I forgot to subscribe to the thread and forgot all about it till this morning!

 

[Rmar]

Regarding your issues to going to the hospital for an emergency during a homebirth. For emergencies that require a c-section:

https://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/Fulltext/2006/07000/Decision_to_Incision_Times_and_Maternal_and_Infant.4.aspx

Just a couple of quotes for those who are skimming over:

RESULTS: Of the 11,481 primary cesarean deliveries, 2,808 were performed for an emergency indication. Of these, 1,814 (65%) began within 30 minutes of the decision to operate. Maternal complication rates, including endometritis, wound infection, and operative injury, were not related to the decision-to-incision interval. Measures of newborn compromise including umbilical artery pH less than 7 and intubation in the delivery room were significantly greater when the cesarean delivery was commenced within 30 minutes, likely attesting to the need for expedited delivery. Of the infants with indications for an emergency cesarean delivery who were delivered more than 30 minutes after the decision to operate, 95% did not experience a measure of newborn compromise.

The decision-to-incision interval appeared to have no impact on maternal complications. Infants delivered within 30 minutes for an emergency indication were more likely to be acidemic and to require intubation in the delivery room. It is important to note that two neonates who were delivered within 30 minutes also died as a result of asphyxial injury, thus emphasizing the reality that delivery within 30 minutes does not guarantee against an adverse outcome. Conversely, 95% of infants delivered for an emergency indication beyond the 30-minute benchmark did not exhibit evidence of compromised condition at birth.

It is important to note that the study was conducted on babies born at full term. Also, most c-sections will have a waiting time to prep the op room. Your midwife should be in contact with the hospital, by this point. There wont be any turning up at random but a communication between the two. This creates the safest outcome.

This study was showing unexpected outcomes, meaning not discovered before labour.

The study showed that there was no comprimise of the health of the baby in a c-section was performed after 30 minutes from the time of decision to incision, presumably before an hour but may be longer in rare cases. A distance up to 30-40 minutes should be fine in the event of an emergency if you have a qualified midwife who is able to make the judgement and call ahead of time.

Also remember, they say the transfer rate for a first time labour is high, but in comparison, depending on what area you live in, it is actually lower than not transfering. Most transfers are for failer to progress where to woman gives birth soon after arriving at the hospital and does not require emergency treatment. The stats for an emergency situation are lower than the transfer rate. It is a backup option so it does not mean it will happen.