How do I ignore comments about early weaning?

[Lucy Lu]

LO has had a tricky month with his weight gain - he went two weeks around Xmas putting on no weight and in the latest 2 weeks, he's only gained 5oz. The health visitor isn't worried in the slightest - he looks perfectly healthy - she's just made the recommendation that I try and encourage him to feed for longer on one breast each time so he gets more of the fatty milk... (he's exclusively breastfed).

Anyway, certain family members' reaction to this is that he maybe isn't getting enough now, that he should be on hungry baby milk or even starting solids - he's only 3 and a half months old!!!! To me he's not showing any signs of needing early weaning - he generally has 5 feeds a day, is happy and contented after a feed and is sleeping 7-8 hours at night.

It's not like I will buckle and just wean early based on others' opinions but I find this kind of criticism and pressure difficult to deal with sometimes. Even my husband has just insinuated that I am trying to cling onto breastfeeding and need to let go at some point and move to the next stage - for god sake, he is 3 months old! I just wondered how others deal with pressure from family in how you're doing things? I can foresee this escalating over the next few weeks and I want to scream or cry at the moment

 

[polo_princess]

"Are you still talking?" Is one of my favourite lines

 

[Lucy Lu]

Thanks Polo Princess, I will try that one!!! - I have all these kind of lines in my head and then am quite nervous in reality to say anything and end up mumbling and going red! - my god, I think I need to beef up!!!!

 

[xelatib]

I sometimes get annoyed and say "Thanks but that's not what our Pediatrician advised us to do." or depending on the age of the person "Maybe that's what they did back when you were a parent, but that's not what is recommended anymore".
Even my well meaning and loving parents were asking me "Can't you give him a bottle of water or some sugar water to help his cough?" I just said "No". He's 11 weeks how the hell is sugar water supposed to help a cough- I'm in the medical field- they're not!

 

[Lu28]

I think I'd be saying that you'll take medical advice, not lay advice and if they're happy then you're happy. Good luck hon

 

[polo_princess]

All jokes aside i would just say "thanks, but im happy to go with what my HV/GP/Paed advises"

What cany they say to that? Nothing, unless they are a health professional of course

 

[lyre]

try not to worry, your baby, you'll do whats best x

 

[Peanut78]

I feel for you, I am so surprised at how opinionated everyone is about parenting ever since I became a mum. Seems everyone is a parenting expert (even those with no parenting experience)!

We also struggled with slow weight gain in the first few months. I eventually caved and started supplementing with some formula (I am still not sure this was the right decision, although he did subsequently gain weight, my milk supply dwindled despite constant pumping to bring it up).

There seem to be so many mis-conceptions on issues like weaning as well. After all that is not their primary source of nutrition in the first year anyway....

I also refer to what my paediatrician advised...

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

When I get crappy advice from people I just smile and say something non committal, like 'hmm yeah maybe'.

 

[huggybear]

you know what i did, i used to lie!!! yep when OH used to say about feeding i used to make up horrible stories that the HV/GP advised that this could happen and that could happen if weaned too soon... ha ha ha he stoped asking after a while, aarrggggh mum would still argue though, would say "non of them professionals have ever had kids" aaaarrgggh used to make me twitch with rage!!!

 

[angelstardust]

"thank you for taking an interest, I will take your comments on board." *smile, turn, flounce*

Even my well meaning and loving parents were asking me "Can't you give him a bottle of water or some sugar water to help his cough?" I just said "No". He's 11 weeks how the hell is sugar water supposed to help a cough- I'm in the medical field- they're not!

Water does help a cough. Sugar water was used as pain relief and is was supposed to work like honey, soothing the throat. But I still wouldn't give sugar water. Plain water, yes, sugar water, no.

 

[Lazy Leo]

Oh hon, its difficult isn't it?! try not to stress about it, oddly enough i am getting it for the opposite reason. Georgia has more than doubled her weight and she is 15 weeks old and my mum and gran have been suggesting I put her on solids from Christmas. My mum constantly tells me to give her extra hungry milk! That one I can deal with because too much hungry milk makes her constipated - she gets it at night only. The thing is she doesn't really drink that much milk for her weight and she is not insatiable therefore I don't think she is ready, when she is I will move to solids. Not because they say so, not because WHO say so or because the HV does, but because I will trust my own instincts and the signals Georgia gives me.

I usually find a raised eyebrow and a change of subject, or moment of silence does the trick. The other one is that people often tell you 'they grow up too fast' so say you are 'keeping her a baby as long as possible, after all everyone tells you not to wish them grown up too soon....'

 

[Lucy Lu]

when she is I will move to solids. Not because they say so, not because WHO say so or because the HV does, but because I will trust my own instincts and the signals Georgia gives me.

Hey Lazy Leo, I love this as a response - this is EXACTLY how I feel, but I know my in laws just think I am being a stickler for the guidelines. It annoys me, especially since, if anything, I feel that 6 months MIGHT be a little too cautious and if I wait till then exactly, it could be a little trickier to introduce all the food groups very gradually which I'm really keen to do. At the same time though, 4 months seems to be REALLY jumping the gun if our LO isn't demanding extra feeds yet and is still managing to sleep through the night just fine. I worry about his little digestive system not being able to handle it

They are making me start to question myself now though - beginning to lose confidence as a mummy this week - LO has been really subdued, if not crying lots this week and I can't seem to work out what is worrying him

 

[helent1983]

Oh I am soooo with you babe!! I always got comments about giving him something other than milk. I used to get "put some rusks in his milk it will make him go longer" (Not sure how was meant to do that as I also am also breastfeeding!!!). Archie sometimes would feed and then want feeding again like 1/2 hour later and people used to say "you don't need feeding again do you Archie?" Well yes actually he does becuase he wants it and you are suppose to feed on demand!

If I were you I would just tell them straight. Tell them the HV has advised you to do that and so that is what you are doing!

Your baby = your decision!

Stick with it you are doing a grand job!

xx