I have no idea how to tell my parents that my girlfriend is pregnant. I'm in my sophomore year of college and so is she, over the summer we weren't very careful and it just happened. We decided only this past week to keep the baby and face whatever comes. The first of which is telling our parents. I live about 600 miles away from my parents so I don't know if I should just do it over a letter/text or face to face because I can't do this over the phone. I'm terrified to tell them because they sort of threatened to cut me off financially if this very thing happened. I can probably make ends meet without their help but not comfortably with a baby. But apart from that I'm the youngest of 3 kids, the first to have a baby, and the only one to actually go to college so I know they're not going to react well and I'm scared. I really don't know what to do. I've been away for a while now and my parents have never even met my girlfriend, how should I tell them?
How do I tell my parents?
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xforuiholdonx
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I first found out I was pregnant one day before my 17th birthday, and telling my parents was my fear. For me it was easiest to sit them down and just do it face to face.. for you however, id probably wait a little while, maybe until the girlfriend hits second tri? Youre what..20? Its not something they need to no asap. When the time comes, maybe a letter with an attached ultrasound image?
xforuiholdonx
Momma to Emma and Coltin!
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Congratulations by the way! Im Lisa, and Im 22. My husband is 24, our daughter is 4, and our son is 1
i get your fears of how to tell your parents but.. give yourself some credit! both you and your girlfriend have stood up to the call and are doing what you can. and kudos for that.
your parents may be mad at you at beginning but will come around sooner or later. it is their first grandchild on the way and after the initial shock it will get better. they may say things they don't mean at the beginning, as they'll be in shock when you tell them, but try not to give them too much weight.
threatening you financially before something like this happened shows that they still view you as their baby who's dependent on them for survival (maybe because you're the youngest); but you are more than that and you know that!
moving 600 miles away to study and be the first one in your family to do so, stepping up to your responsibility and supporting your GF and your baby, coming here asking for help on how to do the right thing already prove you're on a good way when it comes to dealing with the situation.
if your parents are worried you won't finish college if you become a father, well make sure they understand you are determined to accomplish your goals.
and ultimately - you are not the first sophomore couple who ever got pregnant. it happens all the time.
i remember a friend of mine who got pregnant at 18, she has just finished high school, was about to start a college and unemployed, and back then she didn't even know if her BF would stick around or not... and she came up to her parents, sat them face to face and before they even managed to fury up, she said: this is my decision and there's nothing you can do to make me change it. you can either disagree on it, and i'll make it on my own, we'll spend some years apart in a war against each other, and then sooner or later we'll grow back together when you realize my child is also your family. or you can accept the situation and play along and spare us all those years of unnecessary conflicts and suffering it will take us decades to recover from.
(she floored everybody with this, btw. even to this day i don't know where she found the guts.)
all this to tell you to face them upfront as much as you can, explain them it's tough and that you and your GF have a plan and that they can be a part of it if they want.
your parents may be mad at you at beginning but will come around sooner or later. it is their first grandchild on the way and after the initial shock it will get better. they may say things they don't mean at the beginning, as they'll be in shock when you tell them, but try not to give them too much weight.
threatening you financially before something like this happened shows that they still view you as their baby who's dependent on them for survival (maybe because you're the youngest); but you are more than that and you know that!
moving 600 miles away to study and be the first one in your family to do so, stepping up to your responsibility and supporting your GF and your baby, coming here asking for help on how to do the right thing already prove you're on a good way when it comes to dealing with the situation.
if your parents are worried you won't finish college if you become a father, well make sure they understand you are determined to accomplish your goals.
and ultimately - you are not the first sophomore couple who ever got pregnant. it happens all the time.
i remember a friend of mine who got pregnant at 18, she has just finished high school, was about to start a college and unemployed, and back then she didn't even know if her BF would stick around or not... and she came up to her parents, sat them face to face and before they even managed to fury up, she said: this is my decision and there's nothing you can do to make me change it. you can either disagree on it, and i'll make it on my own, we'll spend some years apart in a war against each other, and then sooner or later we'll grow back together when you realize my child is also your family. or you can accept the situation and play along and spare us all those years of unnecessary conflicts and suffering it will take us decades to recover from.
(she floored everybody with this, btw. even to this day i don't know where she found the guts.)
all this to tell you to face them upfront as much as you can, explain them it's tough and that you and your GF have a plan and that they can be a part of it if they want.
PrincessMommy
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The previous poster said it all!
If you can't do a face to face then do a web cam/face time chat with them both?
Personally I would start out saying there is something you need to discuss and you need them to let you say your piece. Exactly as pp said- tell them they can either fight with you and lose time with their grand child or they can support you mentally. Let them know you will do whatever it takes to make this child happy and healthy. This isn't about them or you anymore- it's about the baby. You're a grown person and this is your choice. Not theirs.
Having said that- it is great to see a male on this forum asking for help
The ladies here are fantastic!! We are all here to help at any time.
Good luck dude!! I know you can do it wait a bit if you need to!! I am at 17 weeks with my second and just about to tell my parents because I know my mom would have pushed for abortion before 9 weeks. (This is our second pregnancy in one year. Crazy huh?)
Keep us posted!!
If you can't do a face to face then do a web cam/face time chat with them both?
Personally I would start out saying there is something you need to discuss and you need them to let you say your piece. Exactly as pp said- tell them they can either fight with you and lose time with their grand child or they can support you mentally. Let them know you will do whatever it takes to make this child happy and healthy. This isn't about them or you anymore- it's about the baby. You're a grown person and this is your choice. Not theirs.
Having said that- it is great to see a male on this forum asking for help
The ladies here are fantastic!! We are all here to help at any time. Good luck dude!! I know you can do it
wait a bit if you need to!! I am at 17 weeks with my second and just about to tell my parents because I know my mom would have pushed for abortion before 9 weeks. (This is our second pregnancy in one year. Crazy huh?) Keep us posted!!
I think you should do it face to face even if that means waiting. I told my parents over the phone and i really regret it even though they suprised me by actually being happy.
I didnt think they would be so good about it. I had just finished uni and was working in a crappy little cafe nothing to do with my degree and planning to take another course. My lo was actually planned but i didnt tell them that. You may be suprised. I really expected a lecture about wasting my life but instead they cheered.
I didnt think they would be so good about it. I had just finished uni and was working in a crappy little cafe nothing to do with my degree and planning to take another course. My lo was actually planned but i didnt tell them that. You may be suprised. I really expected a lecture about wasting my life but instead they cheered.
Thanks everyone for your incredible replies, they helped a lot.
I told my parents yesterday morning. I took them out for breakfast so they couldn't make a scene but they actually took the news pretty well. After I told them about my plan to make school, work, and taking care of my girlfriend and our baby they seemed at ease. My mom told me if I needed anything to tell her. It was a lot easier and quicker than I thought. Next Saturday I'm going with my girlfriend to tell her parents. I feel a huge weight lifted. Now apart from juggling school and work I have to prepare for the baby. I'm looking on the brightside and am glad I have my parents (at least my moms support). I would like to thank all of you once again. I'll probably be a more active member on other sections when the baby arrives.
I told my parents yesterday morning. I took them out for breakfast so they couldn't make a scene but they actually took the news pretty well. After I told them about my plan to make school, work, and taking care of my girlfriend and our baby they seemed at ease. My mom told me if I needed anything to tell her. It was a lot easier and quicker than I thought. Next Saturday I'm going with my girlfriend to tell her parents. I feel a huge weight lifted. Now apart from juggling school and work I have to prepare for the baby. I'm looking on the brightside and am glad I have my parents (at least my moms support). I would like to thank all of you once again. I'll probably be a more active member on other sections when the baby arrives.
PrincessMommy
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Ahhh good job!!! So glad to hear everything went well you will do great! Just keep your focus on what you need to accomplish. Congrats again- can't wait to find out what team you guys will be on!!
you will do great! Just keep your focus on what you need to accomplish. Congrats again- can't wait to find out what team you guys will be on!!CONGRATSSSS!!!!
so so happy to hear it went well and better than you've imagined! good luck with the other set of parents as well!!
thanks for coming back and letting us know how it went by the way!
if you ever need some doubts cleared in the meantime before the baby arrives, we're all here to help
so so happy to hear it went well and better than you've imagined! good luck with the other set of parents as well!!
thanks for coming back and letting us know how it went by the way!
if you ever need some doubts cleared in the meantime before the baby arrives, we're all here to help
Aidan's Mummy
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Hi. I fell pregnant aged 16 and still in school. Telling my parents was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I too was the youngest and they had high hopes for me. The best thing to do is sit them down with your girlfriend and tell them. Also tell them what your plans for the future are. I am now 22. I finished my education and now have a good job with a house. Yes it's hard and they will worry about your future but reassure them that this won't effect how well you can do. I still dud well in fact my son was the motivation that kept me going to do well. Good luck and I wish you all the best for the future x
