How do the same things always hurt so much?

[Purpular]

If you catch a bug you get sick and it sucks but next time it rolls around you have a bit of immunity and things aren't so bad. Why is it that the stupid things people say aren't the same?

I've been feeling a bit down today. I'm a bit uncomfortable after my HSG anyway so I might be a bit oversensitive but surely it's not completely out of line to expect people to hold their tongue instead of saying upsetting things. The upsetting thing was the 'maybe it's not meant to be' line. That old chestnut. The worse thing is, perhaps I'm a bit worried that it could be true. Now I don't believe that our lives are planned out or anything but I don't believe in ghosts either but I still check the dark corners when I hear a noise at night.

Now that DH and I are having treatment more people know about our situation. THat means more people are starting to make comments. Please tell me you develop some sort of immunity to the stupid ones?!

 

[Myshelsong]

I found I went and are still going through stages of how I handle certain situations. You will probably have great days and good days and horrible disaster days and depressing ones and so on and so forth. You will develop a thick skin in time, but even that doesn’t keep away the hurt feelings all the time.

My suggestion is when you “feel it” say it. If someone says something insensitive let them know that hurt your feelings. If you need to start crying in front of them then do it, they will hopefully never do it again. If you want to yell at them and call them a huge bi*** then again do it. You are going through enough without having to manage everyone else’s reactions to your hurt feelings. I wouldn’t suggest doing this (yelling) at your boss, but let them know that although you know they mean well that comments are not helpful and they hurt your feelings.

Not sure if that is helpful, I am an emotional person and I am an open book so being honest about my feelings does come easier for me, and it also lets people know where I stand. Sometimes with friends when they call the first thing I say is “No baby news on this end, how are you doing?” I know it is strange to start a conversation like this however I know they are interested and care about me, but they can tell right away I don't want to talk about it.

 

[Purpular]

Thank you, I think I was just having a bit of a hissy fit this afternoon. It makes perfect sense that people don't know what you're thinking unless you tell them. I'm just not a very heart on the sleeve person and I'm not used to people inserting themselves in my business. With 5 unsuccessful years of trying already behind us, seeing the FS is like starting the heartache from scratch all over again.

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

Hi both of you. We have been trying for 6 years now and nobody except my parents knew it. I told my mum in low just two years ago. All of this time I had to answer the question "When are you going to have a baby?". My answer always has been "No time....or no money. ...for that now....still studying.". But inside me I was crying and dying slowly. I fed up saying that long time ago....I actually started to say that for some people is not that easy. But I also hate seeing them feel sorry about me. This for me is a big test that I have to pass. I don't know what the final result will be but I am a fighter...

 

[Rhapsodi]

Ok, so I am a full believer there is a plan. However, since we don't know it anything can happen. My response because honestly I've started to feel this way too is. Yeah, maybe it's not meant to be, but I still have hope that it will happen. So until that hope is gone, I have to believe, or it won't happen.

Otherwise very few people know our situation. We have been honest but mostly don't talk about it. Parents don't know, although they probably have a idea. My sister I laws know because they get sad about it (in front of me which kills!) so I've been very positive, yet realistic. The only some friends who know what to say. Everyone else who asks when we are going to have kids I just am blunt and say well we have infertility issues. And most stop when I say it confidently because I make them uncomfortable.

Don't know if it helps but that's what I've done.