How do Type A personalities cope with TTC?

[psychochick]

Hi everyone, this is my second cycle TTC #1 going onto the third cycle. I am super type A personality and overachiever in everything else I do and I realize this is not conducive to TTC at all. I expected to get pregnant first cycle just cuz some of my friends did, and having failed a second cycle even after being diligent about timing and everything, I am starting to apply the thinking of "if it's not getting done fast enough, must try something different" mindset except I don't actually have anything different to try. During the TWW this is always on top of my mind even when I tell myself to just wait it out and I'm just living my TWW looking forward to 2 weeks later instead of actually enjoying my time which I know is just not healthy.

I know I need to get out of the mindset so I'm wondering what specifically other Type A personalities here have done to alter their approach to TTC. (Actually, I realize I'm still applying a typical Type A methodical approach even to THIS problem but hey I think this particular goal is actually worth being methodical about )

I know for example, I should de-stress during TWW (I actually quite enjoy the first part of the cycle ) but I don't really know how in addition to the usual stuff I do: exercise, hang out with friends, cuddle with DH etc. Those help for sure but my mind can still wander to TTC in the middle of all that, and it totally does!

 

[jules87]

I'm type A as well.. 3.5 years later- still no baby. So, my best advice to you is to keep busy. I know you already listed some stuff but you have to purposely push the tww thoughts out of your mind or you might drive yourself nuts. Haha. I know I did.

I exercise, do house work (while blasting music), or get lost in a good book. Anything that actively keeps my mind distracted.

Good luck!

 

[todmommy4568]

I am also type A TTC #2. The first time around I drove myself crazy. I adamantly kept track of my cycles and everything that happened. The month I finally did conceive I didn't track anything, on one hand it was terrible because I had no idea when I was supposed to get my period and when I went to the doc they asked the first day of my last period and I honestly couldn't tell them which was disappointing since I usually kept track so well but in the end not knowing anything lead to less stress which lead to the toddler I have destroying my living room as I post this. Baby Dust!!

 

[krissie328]

Keep busy as pp said. I am currently landscaping my front/side flower beds and plan to start painting my kitchen when that's done.

It took us 8 years ttc ds so I had to learn distraction or I would have tore myself apart with the anxiety and stress of it.

 

[psychochick]

Oh boy, I don't think I can wait 8 years! Not even 3.5 years! But I'm starting my 3rd cycle right now so let's hope it won't require more than a year.

I realize that I've put off a lot of activity planning because I wanted to see when I'd get pregnant first and make plans based on that. I used to be very active so the lack of activities is adding to my anxieties I think. So this weekend I went ahead and planned a bunch of things (with DH) just assuming everything's the same as before and I already feel much better about my life, now that it's back to about living a great life, instead of about waiting to conceive.

 

[running]

LOL.....I read your title and seriously laughed out loud! You sound just like me!

Although it is my first cycle, I'm assuming that I'll have to repurchase the cheap pregnancy tests before the month is over (I'm really bad).

I don't know what I'll do when my summer teaching program ends on Friday and I have a 3 week lull before the regular school starts! 8-0

 

[alikat27]

This whole thread makes me smile People like me! Woohoo! I can never believe it when I hear stories of "We tried unsuccessfully for 4 years and then thought it might be a good idea to start charting..." I mean, what?? You're telling me not everybody researches BBT and OPKs before they've even gone off BC? -___- Blasphemy.

I had a short luteal phase, which we identified really quickly through charting, so I got to temper my Type A-ness with playing around with Vitex, Vitamin B complex, red raspberry leaf, and all those good things. (None of them worked and my LP only extended when I got started on progesterone suppositories.) Now that that's sorted out, I'm twiddling my thumbs a little. Haha. It's so annoying!

Although here's something fun my sweet sister-in-law sent me. No idea how legit it is, but she's currently 3 months prego with twins, so... it's currently on repeat in my playlist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oIJ871Jw2w.

 

[Angel_blues]

How do we cope... We don't! My last loss had my doctor put me on anti anxiety meds... All is good now but I'm highly organized and can't stand not having things in full control...

 

[psychochick]

alikat27@ Haha yeah! I was pretty control freak about contraceptive as well, and never understood how some people totally handwave contraceptives. It's the same now vice versa hehehe.
How short is a short luteal phase? <10 days? I feel like my last cycle was 11 days but I really wasn't completely sure which day my O was because I had to change thermometers midway through; and I've heard conflicting things about when the O is relative to the first OPK+. I actually wish I had started temping/tracking BEFORE TTC, but was too busy with wedding planning and honeymoon

Also if that's fertility music, then the music I usually listen to is definitely NOT.

running@ Oh god don't become a POAS addict! It's so disappointing to see a negative test. But maybe you will see a positive first try!

Angel_blues@ sorry about your loss and really hope you find good ways to relax and have a successful one!

 

[Angel_blues]

Thanks! Me too, but I work 3 - 12 hour shifts so I have 4 very LONG days off... Hard to not obsess, only so much cleaning you can do in a clean freaks house!

 

[alikat27]

How short is a short luteal phase? <10 days?

Yep, usually 10 days or less is defined as luteal phase defect, although 11-12 is still classed as "short." Mine was somewhere between 7 and 9 days each cycle, with spotting from day 5. They say it's possible to conceive with a short luteal phase, but I reckon that's a rarity. I ended up doing a progesterone test at 3 dpo and finding out that my progesterone got high enough after ovulation (above 10), but it just dropped SUPER soon after that. The suppositories have helped stretch it out nicely to 13-14 days

It can be hard to pinpoint the specific length of the LP, that's for sure! Temping is such a tricky beast!

 

[running]

Psychochick - don't worry I'm not POS - just peeing in a cup!

 

[Angel_blues]

Psychochick - don't worry I'm not POS - just peeing in a cup!

Lmfao me too!