How do you all cope

[Akira]

I know I have to get it together but I just don't know how.

My fiance and I split up over a week ago. I'm just in total shock.

When Charlotte is awake, I am ok, I can cope. I do everything she needs and put on a mask of happiness for her sake.

But then she goes to sleep and I just break down.

I can't see a decent future for me, or for her.

I'm stuck living with my sister, I'm never going to be able to afford to go flatting, or buy special things for my girl.

I'm supposed to be starting a corrospondance course in two weeks but can barely concentrate to write this...let alone an essay.

And somehow, my ex has yet again managed to make me feel as though this is all my fault.

 

[dom85]

The first thing you need to do is to just accept that you're gonna have good days and bad days, you dont have to be superwoman, I know that sometimes it can feel like everyone is a better Mum or everyone else is coping better but we're not! Some days I do great and sometimes at the end of the day I think I should have done something better or beat myself up about some little thing.

You're break up is still really recent as well hun, it's going to take time to get past it. And you're doing you're course so you're obviously doing something constructive for your future. Just take everything one day at a time, it will all come together in the end.

Massive

 

[Welshcob]

sending you a big hug. It is all very new as DOM says. You will feel like you can't cope, but you will. Somehow we all do. You feel like you will never afford anywhere to live, but you will!!! it will be a while, but you will get there and soon you will feel you are moving ahead. Maybe the course is not at the right time just now? I was supposed to be going to college and I had to back out of it as I could not cope, but I am resolute to get back to it as soon as I am able. Don't be so hard on yourself! Take some time to absorb what is going on

 

[LittleMadam]

Take things day by day. Small steps. Claim everything you can in terms of welfare and hold off on any courses as other OP said. Make the most of any and all familial support, after all, that's what families are for.

Remember to take some time out for yourself too. Leave LO with a sitter (if poss) and go to the cinema, read a book in the park, or meet up with old friends for a drink or coffee.

As for the ex, they say clearing away reminders (aside from baby) is good psychologically during a break up.

Try to stay positive and, if you can, see this as a fresh start. A new life for you and LO.

 

[Laura2919]

Hi hun, I remember when I was on my own and it was tough, some nights I was so sad and others I werent. Being a single parent is such a rollercoaster of emotions and your going to hit every single one of those over the next few weeks..
Just try and busy yourself, do you have a friend that can come over or some ironing or cleaning to do.. A nice relaxing bath with a book or even an early night.
After a few weeks I got used to it and I enjoyed my evenings but it takes time and you dont want to rush to get over it. It takes time.

 

[Clare12345]

Definitely stay in touch with old friends. Also don't worry about your daughter. If you care about her, that's what matters the most. Money is not the biggest issue in life. We all need it, but we need love more. Find what's most important in life and teach that to your daughter.

 

[Kayleigh1991]

You're doing the best thing you can for your daughter's sake. I know it won't feel like that to you!! At least when you are breaking down, she's not around to see it or pick up on it. Everybody has good and bad days, even if they're a couple. That doesn't mean you won't cope! I've been living on my own and bringing my daughter up on my own for 2 years now. I'm 19 next month, i've got a 3 bed house, i provide everything for my daughter and i'm doing a course from home while bringing my daughter up. The more life throws at you, the stronger you get.... Just think to yourself, it can only get better!

 

[Aidedhoney]

As everyone has said above,

It takes time, i am 7 months down the line and i am happier than i think i have ever been.
Take things one day at a time.

As for your ex making you feel bad hes not worth it hun, his own guilt will be causing him to try and hurt you!

Hugs x