How do you cope?

[StarryEyed88]

I'd like to know how you ladies get over the constant feeling of disappointment after continual bfn's? It is so disheartening. My partner and I and only ntnp and I don't chart or anything like that so it's hard to know when I ovulate and when we should Bd. My OH just wants to let it happen naturally and not think about it. I get my hopes up every cycle which is roughly 6-7 weeks

I wish I could either stress less about it or it would happen quicker.

 

[Veronicaco]

I know what you are feeling... The way I cope (barely) is by taking control of what I can by temping and my fertility monitor so I know where I am and when to bd every day. That isn't the right approach for everyone but it keeps me this side of the mental hospital bars
Also this forum with loads of ladies going through the same thing helps to have support and sympathy (when require) but also there is a wealth of experience in these pages.
There are always people here to share your tic journey with- hope you get your bfp soon x

 

[jaydee79]

aww hun maybe you sit down with your OH and explain to him how you really feel TBH and tell him for your piece of mind if you want to BBT it could be a better option of you both trying to succeed prehaps he needs to be more understanding of your feelings and emotions because ur body is going through alot of the worry and stress of it all and can put a huge strain on your relationship prehaps,, iv only been ttc for 2 months so far not had any look i got my OH to go to the g,u clinic again and lucky he saw a man doctor im kinda disapointed because of his he sempt to be getting alot of pain down there and felt blockage but the doctor explain to him wen me and him r BDing his isnt coming out its withdrawing itself back in when hes yano,, im sorry tmi,, but its a concern for both of us now mmmmmm and are we ever gonna suceed prehaps i honestly dont know if hes got this problem now i dont know what to think im using BBT and new to it and have found it helpful so far to determin my ovulation days

 

[StarryEyed88]

Thank you to you both I really appreciate it.

Veronicaco I would like to temp so I could get some idea of when I ovulate but I wouldn't even know where to start. I see ladies talking about increases and drops and all sorts but I have no idea what any of it means.

Jaydee79 I would talk to my partner about it but he thinks I stress out enough about it with putting more pressure on us both. I might try though. You never know
Sorry to hear about your difficulties. Hopefully it will work out soon for you both. Fingers are crossed for you xx

 

[Veronicaco]

Starry eyed - just go to fertility friend - you can click on my ovulation chart link and it will take you to the site, then they have detailed instructions on how to temp that's how I learned to do it! And the basic charting is free although you get VIP for a month or so as a free trial. Buy a bbt thermometer online I got mine feo
Amazon just make sure it measures down to 0.01 of a degree to make it accurate.
If you have any probs just message me and I can go through it with you. It can all be quite daunting to start off with.

Good luck and fx for you xxx

 

[Flutterbabies]

I'd like to know how you ladies get over the constant feeling of disappointment after continual bfn's? It is so disheartening. My partner and I and only ntnp and I don't chart or anything like that so it's hard to know when I ovulate and when we should Bd. My OH just wants to let it happen naturally and not think about it. I get my hopes up every cycle which is roughly 6-7 weeks

I wish I could either stress less about it or it would happen quicker.

I am in exactly the same position. I tried opks last cycle and DH got really pissed off. He said it was too much pressure and that he didnt want to BD on a schedule, he just wants it to happen naturally. Getting a positive opk has helped me as my dates were about a 4/5days out from what I thought but I would like to keep using them in case my ov dates vary.

I currently go by that one positive opk but I got my AF 8days later. An 8 day LP isnt really gonna work.

I dunno if I do "cope" every month but I feel like I have to just keep going. I still have to get up and go to work, do my usual things etc. It just always plays on my mind. I see pregnant women everywhere and I feel jealous, I see my baby niece and it breaks my heart. I dunno if that's really coping, I just get on with things. I know it's hard though. I have lost count of how long I have been TTC now, 9/10 months I think. I just have a cry every time the witch shows up then dust myself off and wait to try again...hence the signature

 

[Miaowzen]

When it was the 'right time' and I insisted we BD it took my man a long time and it was not fun was stressful for him to feel he had to perform on schedule. if I get AF this month I will do things differently next time. Will not tell him when I am fertile, will just be sexy so that it is his idea to BD. Maybe you can manage your BBT, OPKs etc and just find a way to get him to BD without it having to feel forced.

 

[StarryEyed88]

Veronicaco thank you. I might look into fertility friend and temping. Hopefully it will help me to narrow down when I ovulate.

Flutterbabies my OH doesn't really understand why I get so upset each month. I did try to talk to him about ttc properly but he is adamant we just have fun and if it happens it happens. I hope that your lp gets a little longer!! But at least you have some idea of when you ovulate now. I get jealous too. My sil has just fallen pregnant with her second. I was a little heartbroken to say the least. I think we have been for around 6-7 months. But with longer cycles I feel as though my chances are cut in half.
I love your signature too

Miaowzen I know what you mean about not enjoying it and it feeling forced. We both work fairly long hours throughout the week so the only time we really feel like Bd is on the weekends. If we aren't working of course. Hopefully when it gets warmer it will be easier to be sexy instead of rugged up

Thank you for all your kinds words ladies. It means a lot to me