How do you do it?

[modified]

Reading about night feeds, colicy babies, no sleep and all the rest... how do you do it? Alone, I mean.

It should have been me and my husband as a team. Then that was scuppered but my mum was there to step in. Now that's down the drain too - she will still be living with me but will also be undergoing chemotherapy and treatment to try and keep her cancer at bay, not cure it.

I'm scared. Terrified.

 

[Dezireey]

Being a single mum is not a new thing in society Hun, it's been done for centuries and for many different reasons. How do you think women coped when they got pregnant during their husbands leave during World Wars 1 & 2? And the fathers never came back? Or in some communities, even today, it's tradition for the man to not do anything at all! Or even be around.

Women were made physically and physiologically to have babies.....the answer is we do it because we have to and because we can despite everything.

You have to find inner strength, make sure you get some kind of help ( even if it's a crèche a few hours a week, it helps) and you have to cope. I had no help really as my mum is disabled and I am 40! It's been fine and you learn lots of techniques and ways to do things alone and sometimes when you gotta have a shower..baby sits in the bathroom with you etc etc.

You will be fine.There are much much tougher things in life that people have to cope with than being a single mum.

 

[Boomerslady]

You just do it hunni make sure you sleep when baby sleeps so you get some rest. Don't worry too much about housework, just try and do the minimum. As they get older it gets easier. You'll be fine

 

[sue_88]

You'll do it because you're going to be a mummy, and you just have to do it. It's built in you.

I've been single since I was 5w pregnant, so have done every single bit myself besides the actual deed!

Luckily, my baby is very easy, content and laid back so she makes it easy. And I prioritise my jobs...

Freezer is empty or mow lawn. Mow lawn can wait and I'll cook.
Washing clothes or cleaning. Washing clothes is a must, and the cleaning can wait until I'm free again.

Nap time is a godsend! Fresh air every day helps too.

But most of all enjoy it, that baby is all yours! No one to share cuddles with, no one to share all the milestones....they are so special and are all just for you!

All baby needs is her wonderful Mummy x x

 

[moomin_troll]

Basically you will do it because you have to.
I had a 2 yr old when my husband died and then found out I was pregnant. I really was terrified, but being pregnant got me through the worst time of my life and my eldest was amazing.
It's stressful and hard, but it's that way single or not

 

[Rhio92]

You do it because you don't have a choice.

The first 6 weeks are hard. Horrendously hard. You're exhausted, in pain, and it feels endless. Then at some point around 6 weeks, your baby smiles at you, and you know, you can do it.

You'll soon establish a routine. This will fit around you and your baby, not anyone else, so personally, I found is easier, as you don't have to take anyone else into consideration. You can sleep when your baby sleeps, you can stay in your pyjamas all day, you eat cereal for every meal if that suits you.

You'll be fine. You will.

It'll be worth it. It flies by so quickly, soon you won't even think about the arsehole.

 

[modified]

Thanks girls, I appreciate it! Now the dust is settled, I'm okay with it. Sure, it's not what I'd intended but it is what it is and it'll be fine