How do you let a toddler self-wean if he never asks to nurse? EVER?

[susannah14]

My son has only "asked" to nurse once, and that was by pulling down my shirt and smacking my chest. He's 16 months old and has only done that one time. It's like it doesn't even occur to him to ask.

If I never offered, I am pretty sure he would never feed. However, if I say "Do you want tatas?" he drops everything, runs at me from across the room, giggles impatiently while I unhook my bra, and even tries to help remove my clothes to make it go faster. So I know he still digs the momma milk.

Does allowing a toddler to self-wean mean "don't offer/don't refuse?" Or does it mean "Offer until you are rejected"?

If it's the first one, then I think he would self-wean now. If the second, he might nurse until he's 7

Any advice appreciated!

 

[missk1989]

Im not sure. Do you want to wean? I would say its until they dont ask anymore. How often do you offer?i never offer now as he still demand it at least 2-3 times a day and 1-2 at night I really want to wean!!!

 

[susannah14]

Im not sure. Do you want to wean? I would say its until they dont ask anymore. How often do you offer?i never offer now as he still demand it at least 2-3 times a day and 1-2 at night I really want to wean!!!

I offer 4 times a day. I would say he gets 14-18 oz daily.

I don't want to wean right now. My next mini-goal is 18 months and then I'm going to reassess. I guess I'm thinking for the future.

If it's until they don't ask anymore, is he ready to wean now and I'm just keeping him going by offering?

 

[missk1989]

Its difficult to say. I would try not offering and see if he asks.

 

[susannah14]

Its difficult to say. I would try not offering and see if he asks.

Then do you think I should pump to keep my supply up? What if he goes a few days without a feed?

I think I would be really sad if he didn't ask. I am not ready to end, even if he is.

 

[diggory77]

I think if you're not ready to end it then don't! He still loves it but is probably massively distracted by the big bright shiney world and forgets to ask until he's reminded! I say if you're both still enjoying it then keep going, it's massively beneficial for him and for you still x

 

[Tacey]

Don't offer, don't refuse is often called a gentle weaning technique. He's benefiting nutritionally and emotionally from breastfeeding, plus getting a boost to his immune system and long term health. The longer you nurse him, the better it is for your long term health too. If he's not actively refusing, I'd keep offering as long as you're happy to.

 

[Celesse]

WSS^^

Don't Offer, Don't Refuse is a weaning technique.

At 16 months DS, and probably DD as well would not ask at all, but wait to be offered. Now DS will ask....rather loudly "MAMA, me like a boobboob!". I think asking is more about their communication skills than their desire to nurse.

 

[babyjan]

Sorry I posted in wrong section but congrats on getting this far on breast feeding x

 

[susannah14]

Thanks for your replies everyone. I thought I'd give a little update.

Yesterday I was sitting on the couch and my son kept walking up to me and whining, wasn't sure what he wanted. He kept pointing to the couch pillow and giving it to me. Well I thought that was really weird! I ended up just giving him some food and that solved the problem.

Well half hour later I said "do you want tatas?" And he raced over to me and handed me the pillow just like before! I always nurse with a pillow in my lap. So that was his way of asking! He asked again twice more that day by giving me a pillow. Even though he isn't talking really, I think he has figured out a way to ask. Thanks so much for the help ladies!