How far would you let your child get...

[HappiestMom]

if they said they were running away...? From ages 5-18 I know a lot of kids will threaten to run away before they do it...at 5 its because mommy wont let them have a cupcake or makes them clean their toys up and teenagers..well hell they will run away from anything too lol...


Im asking because we have neighbors above us that let their 8 year old..run away a month or so ago....she packed clothes..food..water..even a sleeping bag...and showed up on our doorstep (luckily) when I was home and fixing dinner..telling me bye and that she was leaving...I thought she was going with her dad for the weekend (lives with her mom and stepdad) but instead she said no I just have to get away...and I started talking to her..asking her what happened and told her to come in for a while..she told me the whole story and said she told them she was leaving and they told her that she was making a bad decision but to go ahead and they wont stop her and she left....I assume they knew that she would stop by our house and that of course I would either bring her back to them or keep her at my house still they came looking for her..which of course I did...they didnt show up till an hour or so later asking if she had stopped by...

anyway... it got me to thinking..what if she HADNT stopped at our house..or what if I hadnt been home...we have like..10 registered sex offenders in the area..live on a very unsafe road due to speeders and 18 wheelers barreling down it all the time..no sidewalks..a truckstop right down the road... I mean so many things could have happened..even if they ASSUMED she was going to come here..a lot of things could have gone wrong had I not made her come in and not let her keep going on her way... I understand for some kids making it seem like its not a big deal or making them think they have control over the situation might work in the parents favor and they change their minds before they even get out of the yard.. but for others you dont know where they might end up...


So how far would you let your kid go...and based on what age range..? Into the yard...down the street..few blocks over...grandmas house..etc etc...?

 

[Blah11]

i'd probably watch her from a distance and let her go as far as walking would take her but without her knowing im there. if she tried to get on a bus or something obv id stop her, lol.

 

[charlotte-xo]

wow i dont know because id never let him even walk out the door if he said he was running away at that age, not a bloomin chance would I. There are so many dangers around. It only takes some derranged peadophile 2 minutes to bundle them in the back of a car, 2 minutes to get run over by a lorry or car. I know im really cynical but in todays society its just not worth the risk.

 

[iceylou]

the front door.

 

[beccad]

Do you know for definite they weren't just around a corner following her? How far is is from their house to yours?

 

[v2007]

Haha not far

V xxx

 

[Nibblenic]

I wouldnt let her go anywhere. I think most times kids threaten to run away from home is a parent not understanding how important the thing/situation is to the child.

I think we easily forget what its like to be young and how little things are really important.

 

[annawrigley]

wow i dont know because id never let him even walk out the door if he said he was running away at that age, not a bloomin chance would I. There are so many dangers around. It only takes some derranged peadophile 2 minutes to bundle them in the back of a car, 2 minutes to get run over by a lorry or car. I know im really cynical but in todays society its just not worth the risk.

I agree, I wouldn't "let him" run away at all! Into the teenage years I guess it'd be a different story cos there's not a lot you can do to stop them but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.. xx

 

[lynnikins]

my parents " let me " i mean my dad had the neighbor follow me , i got about 10blocks before i realised i didnt know where to go so went to the park lol i must have been about 9 lol thankfully the neighbor had a mobile phone and called my dad who came down and just sat on the swings at the other corner of the park in my sight and left it to me to approach him lol sure enough by the time it was getting dark i had gone over and we had sorted through the issue and went home.

If my kids ever threatend then id try to find out why if it was out and out rebellion id either follow them from a distance or get somebody to so long as they were at an age ( 9+ probably ) that i trusted them to know not to get in a strangers car or walk out into the busy road

 

[HappiestMom]

Do you know for definite they weren't just around a corner following her? How far is is from their house to yours?

their driveway goes back up further..we share a driveway for some time..but its at the top of a huge hill....and then to get to their house you keep going...they definitely didnt follow her..she was here for over an hour before her step dad even came asking about her...like I said I ASSUME...they knew she would come by here and of course I wont let her just leave...but still...always that "what if" factor.... like what if we werent home..what if she didnt stop by...etc

 

[freckleonear]

my parents " let me " i mean my dad had the neighbor follow me , i got about 10blocks before i realised i didnt know where to go so went to the park lol i must have been about 9 lol thankfully the neighbor had a mobile phone and called my dad who came down and just sat on the swings at the other corner of the park in my sight and left it to me to approach him lol sure enough by the time it was getting dark i had gone over and we had sorted through the issue and went home.

If my kids ever threatend then id try to find out why if it was out and out rebellion id either follow them from a distance or get somebody to so long as they were at an age ( 9+ probably ) that i trusted them to know not to get in a strangers car or walk out into the busy road

Something like this. I'd either follow them myself at a distance or get someone else who they trust and might open up to to do it. I would want to give them time to cool down, think/talk through their problems and realise that they are better off at home after all. Depending on the situation I might use the "well if you're running away I'm going to run away too" line and stay with them until they made the decision to return. I can understand not wanting to let them leave for safety reasons but I would be more concerned about dealing with their feelings that make them want to run away in the first place.

 

[angel2010]

. Depending on the situation I might use the "well if you're running away I'm going to run away too" line and stay with them until they made the decision to return.

I always thought that I would "let them" and follow them, or have someone else follow them, but I really like this idea. i will definitley keep it in mind.
When my little brother was about 6 he decided he was going to run away. He decided he was going to live in the bush in our front yard. What he didn't think about though was that the bush was right in front of my parents bedroom window, literally within a foot of the window. So my mom just kept an eye on him through the window. He wouldn't have lasted long though seeing as how he only took stuffed animals.

 

[PeanutBean]

Interesting. I've never really thought about it but I ran away a few times when I was in single figures. I always went to the fields behind our house then came back after an hour or so. I'd be walking to my friends or the park or whatever at that age anyway so it wasn't particularly a big deal. My mum thought it was sweet because I always packed knickers. Lol One time I came home and no-one knew I'd been gone! Gutted. Perhaps a side effect of being the youngest of 4. I'm sure my mum always knew I'd come back and I don't remember ever announcing it before going so she could've followed me.

I suspect the real issue is how well you know your child. If your child is really seriously thinking of getting on a bus then there are some serious issues there and I'd agree with the "as far as the door" replies.