How long do your FOB's have them for?

[belle254]

To all the single mums/dads who have more than one child the majority of the time, how long do your ex partners have them for weekly?
I'm a single mum of two- 2.5 and 3.5. Me and my ex split up 2 years ago now, he sulked the first year and barely saw them at all, this last year he perked up and mostly has seen them once a week. He currently picks them up Saturday morning at 9/10am and has them for 5 hours ish. Half an hour of that is driving to and from my house (if he picks them up I come and collect them). It was 4 but after a while I pushed for 5 hours.
A few months ago I was dating a single dad and was surprised to find that he had his 2 year old for 1 night and 1 day a week, occasionally doing 2 nights at the weekend.
For those whose ex partners do have the children regularly, shall I be asking for my ex to have the kids longer? They're not ready for overnights yet and he says a definite no to that but I'm wondering whether he should stretch to having them most of the day so he gets a good solid amount of time with them. Any advice will be appreciated! X

 

[Jkelmum]

Mine go every 2/3 weeks for the weekend depending on his shifts they are 6 and 9 ... Currently pregnant and the fob wants baby every Thursday and every other weekend ... Not sure that will happen in the early days

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Lucas goes to his Dad's every Friday after school until either 3pm or 6.30pm Saturday (depending on FOB's work shifts). He also has him one evening in the week for three hours.
He begs to see his Dad more but he lives over an hour away and with him being in school there's no chance of overnights in the week, unfortunately. During school holidays he tries to see him more - two/three nights at a time instead of one. And they have little trips away together now and then.

 

[mummy2boysx]

We have my stepchild 2 nights and half of all holidays. Is there a reason he doesn't want them overnight?

 

[MrsT&Ben]

I split up with my husband about 8 months ago and ever since he has had them over night every Tuesday and every other weekend. He also has them every Friday afternoon.
He has been great where the kids are concerned.

 

[Springflower]

I split up from my husband in September, mine are 3 and 4. He sees them once a week at the weekend, usually comes at 7 to get them up and drops them back at 6. I've said no to overnights until my youngest is 4. He seems fine with that.

 

[Boomerslady]

I split with FOB about 4 years ago and he demanded 50/50. I didn't see how I could refuse, he was a parent as much as I am. He has him Wed-Sat each week.

 

[mummy2boysx]

I split with FOB about 4 years ago and he demanded 50/50. I didn't see how I could refuse, he was a parent as much as I am. He has him Wed-Sat each week.

A very mature decision xx very selfless

 

[belle254]

Thankyou for your replies.
My children's dad lives with his mum, who also has a lodger (who I've met but I know is usually out working or at his girlfriends house). My ex says he doesn't want the kids overnight until he has his own place- no other reason given. I haven't pushed it as I don't feel comfortable with them going yet either.
I've managed to nudge the hours up so he now picks them up at 10ish (his choice) and I collect at 4pm. Thanks for all your replies ladies 😊

 

[mummy2boysx]

Fair enough

 

[sarah0108]

Mine go every other weekend on a saturday 9-4/5ish. They don't stay over night or see him inbetween those weeks

 

[babyv13]

we do 50/50 too, my DD is at her dad's mon-thurs morning every week

 

[pandacub]

My ex comes and visits Jacob once a month, at best. Sometimes it's every other month. He'll get to mine for about 10:30/11 and bring him back at 5ish. He's only ever had him overnight twice. He lives an hour and a half drive away, so not far really.

 

[Jennifurball]

My LO is 4 and sometimes stays overnight at her grandparents with ex, mostly tho she goes for one afternoon at the weekend. Any longer than that and I wouldn't be comfortable. It's ok once they get older I think.

When bump arrives I won't be allowing any time with this ex. Guess it all depends on how capable you feel your FOB is tbh and the relationship they have with them. x

 

[DreamCatcher_]

My FOB demanded 50/50 after 5 years, I told him no as he still lived at home and has no clothes for LO plus he sleeps onba camp bed and they stay 40mins away from school.

He has LO every other weekend 6pm Fri to 6pm Sun if I can either pick up or drop off LO (I couldn't this week and he decided to throw a huff and only get LO on Saturday). He also has extra days during school holidays and occasionally my weekends if there are events on
FOB was offered the chance to see him after school 1 day a week but he has never once asked.

 

[aidensxmomma]

My kids are 8 and (almost) 7 and their dad has been taking them every other weekend (Friday night to Sunday afternoon) for the past year or so. It's not really possible for FOB to have them more because he lives about 45 minutes away and they have school during the week. FOB doesn't drive either so I'm in charge of all the pick ups and drop offs and it's just not possible for me to bring them to him during the week. He also occasionally gets a ride to his parents and takes them to their house, which I'm fine with since my family is close to his parents and I know his family really well. However, FOB lost his job so he hasn't seen them in a couple weeks and I have no idea when he will start taking them again. Also, prior to the last year, FOB was pretty inconsistent about when he had them. But the every other weekend thing worked well for us, although I don't think I would have been comfortable with that arrangement when we first separated 4 years ago.

 

[Louise88]

Me and my ex split 2 months ago he was taking them all day Saturday and overnight Saturday every week but he's now taken a well paid job 6 hours away so he's going to arrange to come up 1 weekend everyman the and is going to have them the whole weekend at his mums and summer holidays, easter and 1 other school holiday he will be taking them down to his house for a week or 2 to make up the lost time with them. He is keeping in touch every day usually does facetious with the kids at night time so he can say good night. So he's really stepping up and trying to be part of their lives as much as possible. However we are only 2 months in so I can only hope he continues with the regular contact and effort to see them.