How old is too old?

[Malia123]

We have been blessed with there beautiful daughters and would love to TTC again. I am 37yo, my husband is 42 yo. Is this too old?

I am a little scared because there is so much talk about elevated risks.

I would love to hear your stories.

 

[mumlol]

there is more risks but imo ur not 2 old x

 

[BunnyN]

I am 36, 37 when #3 is born. We had our first at 33 and second at 35. I have always gotten pregnant easily but we have also had two losses. Lots of women, even younger ones, have MCs but I do think my age may have been a factor. Other than that we have not had any age related problems, except maybe a bit of high BP in pregnancy. I guess there are risks at any age so you just have to be aware of them and decide what you are comfortable with. Despite there being higher risk factors you still have a high chance of having a successful pregnancy at 37. By 40 your chances drop quite drastically.

 

[vix1972]

I am 43 and will be 44 when I have my 2nd one. First one is 21 this year and has her own baby girl! You are as old as you feel. I have looked after my granddaughter alot over the past 7 months since she was born and they do make you feel younger. Mind you we were going to have the should we hold any hope still talks when we both hit 45.

I have also lost 5 stone in weight, given up smoking, became vegetarian and tried this exercise lark so my body is fitter than it was when I had my DD at 23!

 

[CaliDreaming]

I gave birth to my first child at age 36 and my second at age 39, just 3 months shy of my 40th birthday. If all goes as planned we will be TTC a third child in November.

As for your question, I don't think there is a black-and-white answer to this. The answer is going to depend on your individual health, genetics and family history. A 20 something with multiple health issues may have more problems that a 40+ year old in excellent health. It all depends.

Statistically 35+ year old women do find it more difficult, but what other 35+ year old women may experience will have no bearing on what your experience will be.

 

[Malia123]

Thank you, mumioi, BunnyN, vix1972 and CaliDreaming!

We already have three beautiful daughters. I would LOVE to have another baby but it is fair for them? What if something happens to me or the child is born with a disability?

I know my husband would love to have a boy. There is a special bond between father and son.

My health is fine. I had three healthy pregnancies and natural births.

Nobody in my family ever had a child after 35 but I think it is just because they completed their family planning before.

I would love to have another baby but don't know if I am brave enough.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Maybe you could have a fertility workup with an RE. It might be helpful to know what your FSH levels are as well as your other hormones to determine what your actual risk may be.

Also keep in mind that the opinion in the medical community is ever evolving on its opinions regarding the effect of age on fertility. Some researchers are starting to revise the standard warnings on childbirth over 35.

 

[Katie Potatie]

No way too old!! Had my first at 32 and second at 37. My husband was 47 and 52. My OB didn't even classify me as "advanced maternal age," at 37, which some doctor's offices do. They only classified as AMA if you were 40 AND had a health condition that could impact the pregnancy like heart issues, pre-existing diabetes, etc. If your heart calls you both to try again, then do!

 

[vermeil]

The increase in odds of issues is small! And even then overall the odds are stil small. There are lots of articles on it. I had my kids at 38 and almost 42. Good luck.

 

[Larkspur]

When I first read your title, I thought to myself, "Well, 45 for the woman is probably pushing the boat out a bit." Then I read that you're 37!!! I was 36 with my first and 38 with my second and am far from the oldest mum I know! My OH was 48 and 50. No trouble with conceiving or either pregnancy.

 

[CaliDreaming]

I think 45 would be my personal break point too, not only because of my personal health but my children would be 10 and 7 and I think I wouldn't want to go back to the baby stages after not having to worry about diapers, tantrums, etc. for so long. I'm pretty sure I would have moved on by then if I weren't able to make it happen.

Bur really think it's up to the individual woman to determine what age is "too old". There are a lot of women who are hoping to have a child with a new partner, or who married late in life and want a chance at motherhood, or any number of situations where anyone would understand why they're trying. I think it's cruel to tell a woman in this situation that she is too old.

 

[BunnyN]

My aunt had twins at 46 but that was with fertility treatment and donor eggs as saddly although she tried for a few years she seemed unable to stay pregnant with her own eggs. She coped with pregnancy and twins fine though.

 

[Regin7]

We have been blessed with there beautiful daughters and would love to TTC again. I am 37yo, my husband is 42 yo. Is this too old?

I am a little scared because there is so much talk about elevated risks.

I would love to hear your stories.

Hi, I guess this is never too late to TTC except your health issues aren't good enough. I'm 40 now, we started TTC in June 2012. Since that time our lives changed completely as we got to know about my issues. This was/is endo and PCOS. Then lots of treatment options.. 1 round Clomid - failed. 1 fresh ivf with 2 5-day embryos which ended in early miscarriage. Then we took a long break for emotional recovering mainly - I did need it so much! And hoping for the miracle continued trying naturally. Every time DH's results came in healthy and I blamed myself of this disability severely. Yet another fresh ivf cycle with OE in 2015 - failure. Now we're passing ivf with donor egg in Ukrainian clinic, have recently got our BFP. Currently waiting for the scan and safety 12 weeks period..
Sorry for this moan, but it's with a happy end. After having gone through this long path I would tell every lady desiring to have more kids do not take her age into consideration, just do everything to fulfill a dream. By the way, in my clinic they have no age limits at all, only health ones. So there must be a point in it, don't you think?
Wish you all the best of luck with your TTC#3. You're on the right path I believe!

 

[Mrs.H2016]

I was expecting something like "Hi I am 40 something..." lmao not 37! 37 is not to old at all IMO. I had my first at 19, my second at 36 and my third at 38 and now TTC for number 4. If all goes well he/she will arrive just shy of my 40th birthday.

I think the older you are the better your body deals with pregnancy. My first pregnancy was awful from what I recall with being sick and gaining seriously way to much weight..My second and third, I gained around 25 lbs each time and was back in my pants a week after both were born. I had 1 c section and 1 Vaginal birth as well so I think your are ok.

There are tests you can do to find out if the child will have challenges so you can be prepared prior to the birth.

Good luck!!

 

[CaliDreaming]

MrsH

LOL, now that I'm on the other side of 40, ages 35-39 don't seem old to me at all. I had my first at 36 and in my profession women tend to wait longer so in my world it's kind of the norm. It's only on message boards where I feel old.

Interesting you said your body can deal with pregnancy easier at an older age. That as definitely the case with me. My labor and delivery with my first child at 36 was somewhat difficult because she wasn't positioned well and I was having painful contractions. I am lucky to have avoided a Cesarean.

But with my second child at 39, it was a breeze. My labor progressed so quickly I had to go to the ER to deliver. 5 minutes after arrival and 2 pushes later he was born. So I think my body learned how to do things more efficiently the second time around.

 

[Mrs.H2016]

Hi Cali, yeah the human body is an amazing thing for sure. My first labour was ok but the pregnancy itself was hard in me at 19 as I think my body wS like "what is happening to me" but in my 30s I found my body didn't panic so much, I wasn't to tired, I didn't gain as much weight and I bounced back better after.

I agree people are having babies older then before and it really is the new norm.

😊

 

[Rags]

I was 41 when I gave birth to Ds. I didn't have a problem falling pregnant and had a great pregnancy. I've had a great time raising him - he's now 6 - I'm often shocked by how little energy and time people 10/15 years younger than me bother to put into their child care (that's my way of saying don't let anyone say you have less energy as as an older mother - it's nothing to do with age and more about personality!)

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Maybe 45+?

 

[CaliDreaming]

I was 41 when I gave birth to Ds. I didn't have a problem falling pregnant and had a great pregnancy. I've had a great time raising him - he's now 6 - I'm often shocked by how little energy and time people 10/15 years younger than me bother to put into their child care (that's my way of saying don't let anyone say you have less energy as as an older mother - it's nothing to do with age and more about personality!)

Good point. A lot of young folks have their parents and other relatives who are picking up a lot of the slack. At my child's daycare and at activities, there are always a fair amount of grandparents who are dropping and picking up the kids from daycare in the morning and scrambling to get them to activities in the evenings.

It really doesn't matter how old you are if you're having to get going at 5 am without a break and no help until 10 pm you're going to be exhausted.

 

[lisap2008]

50 is the cutoff for me for DEIVF. hoping it works.