How to cope with depression / anxiety????

[jaykay]

Hello,

I was just wondering whether any of you LTTTC ladies have any tips to coping with depression and anxiety caused by TTC. I seem to think about babies all of the time and I'm getting so anxious and scared that it's never going to happen. I know people say to 'relax', and I wish I knew how to, I seem to have a permanant knot in my stomach at the moment, and feel sad most of the time. I can't bear to be around other people's babies, or even look at photos of them on facebook. Every month gets harder, its been over 2 years for us.
I don't want these feelings to get out of hand, and sometimes I wish I could go back to how it was before I realised that I wanted a baby. Does anyone else battle with these feelings? Any advice would be very much appreciated, I don't know how much more I can take.

Thank you

 

[sarah1989]

Didn't want to read and run honey, but wanted to offer

I have the same feelings sometimes, especially around family members who have children. Perhaps talking to your Dr. would be best and maybe he/she will be able to help you out, or suggest some anti-anxiety/anti-depressants to help you along. I have been on anti-depressants before and they definitely help

 

[Bradpittswife]

I don't know the answer to this, I have days when I find babies unbearable (been trying 14months but not having regular monthly cycles) but then other days I seem to cope much better. Perhaps you should talk to your doc and see what they say, you can't be the only one who feels that way, I have a friend who is 41 and been trying 5 years and I know she had times when she felt exactly the same. Big hugs xx

 

[MrsF]

Heya jaykay

Sorry hun - this turned into a longer reply than i first intended!!!

this journey is most definitely crap. No two ways about it. It sucks bud x x x

I'm just about to start my 6th year in November and it's been one hell of a rollercoaster. I wrote in someone else's thread a couple of weeks ago (so apologies if you saw it and i'm repeatin meself!!!), but the depression and anxiety caused by LTTTC is different to regular depression. The physiology is the same, but the treatment needs to be different. It's often likened to grief and loss.

We know what'll make us feel happier again, we know what it is we want - we want answers - we want to know when it'll happen for us, but sadly, no bugger can answer those questions for us. I have always said that if someone could just tell me when it's gonna happen, my depression will lift and i can "live" my life again.

I would say havin a chat with your doc is good, as the other ladies have said, sometimes anti-depressants can give you a crutch to help. For me, I throw myself into my career and plan holidays with my fabulous DH. Sometimes i get uber-motivated and read up about a new vitamin / supplement, drink wholesome smoothies, do all the positive visualisation, and then if AF shows - i allow my self a day or two to feel shitty, then focus on something else for a while.

This forum is superb for ranting, venting, screaming, sharing and supporting - i love it, and it has helped me far more times than i can remember over the past few years.

Don't deny yourself your feelins hun, i experience some very negative thoughts and emotions and i know they're irrational, but i also know i would never think / feel them if it wasn't for our infertility. You're not a bad person, you're normal, i promise you hun x x x

I hope things pick up for you cherub x x I don't know how we do it, but we all find the strength to keep going. Dont ask me how!!!! Some of the strongest ladies I know live in this section.

Take care of yourself hun x x x x x

 

[caz & bob]

aw girls it so hard we all no but if you do some exercise or something you enjoy to take your mind off things that might help xxxx

 

[maroon]

Hi
I just wanted to add that after 4 miscarriages and no children I am finding anti depressants helpful. I have not been on them long and I need to stop taking them when preg again but I dont think anyone should be ashamed in asking your doctor for help. My gp was not hesitant in the slightest in prescribing them to me.
It has been a very hard 2 1/2 years for me and I finally admitted enough was enough and that I needed extra help to get my life back.
Good luck to you.
xx

 

[maaybe2010]

Heya jaykay

Sorry hun - this turned into a longer reply than i first intended!!!

this journey is most definitely crap. No two ways about it. It sucks bud x x x

I'm just about to start my 6th year in November and it's been one hell of a rollercoaster. I wrote in someone else's thread a couple of weeks ago (so apologies if you saw it and i'm repeatin meself!!!), but the depression and anxiety caused by LTTTC is different to regular depression. The physiology is the same, but the treatment needs to be different. It's often likened to grief and loss.

We know what'll make us feel happier again, we know what it is we want - we want answers - we want to know when it'll happen for us, but sadly, no bugger can answer those questions for us. I have always said that if someone could just tell me when it's gonna happen, my depression will lift and i can "live" my life again.

I would say havin a chat with your doc is good, as the other ladies have said, sometimes anti-depressants can give you a crutch to help. For me, I throw myself into my career and plan holidays with my fabulous DH. Sometimes i get uber-motivated and read up about a new vitamin / supplement, drink wholesome smoothies, do all the positive visualisation, and then if AF shows - i allow my self a day or two to feel shitty, then focus on something else for a while.

This forum is superb for ranting, venting, screaming, sharing and supporting - i love it, and it has helped me far more times than i can remember over the past few years.

Don't deny yourself your feelins hun, i experience some very negative thoughts and emotions and i know they're irrational, but i also know i would never think / feel them if it wasn't for our infertility. You're not a bad person, you're normal, i promise you hun x x x

I hope things pick up for you cherub x x I don't know how we do it, but we all find the strength to keep going. Dont ask me how!!!! Some of the strongest ladies I know live in this section.

Take care of yourself hun x x x x x

I feel exactly the same!

To the OP, I feel the same way.
I've just graduated and haven't managed to get a job yet so I have so much spare time to think and it's so, so hard

I haven't found a way of coping yet either. . .

 

[mrssunshine78]

It is such a hard journey, i have really bad days where i just cry and then other days i feel fine, its just a complete roller coaster, have you tried any counselling? we've tried it and it didn't work for us, but for some people it can be really beneficial. I do try and just plan things like hols and wknds away and stuff, i've also started making cards like for birthdays and stuff just to occupy my mind

 

[sequeena]

My depression/anxiety has developed for different reasons but I know what you mean about ttc and anxious that it will never happen I am on fluexotine (prozac) but find it really hard to switch off at times.

I don't know the answer sorry

 

[jaykay]

Thanks for all the kind words and support

I went to see my dr today, she suggested counselling and looking into different support groups. I want to try to manage it on my own before I try medication. I looked at www.infertilitynetworkuk.com, and they have some really useful factsheets, including one called 'coping strategies', which includes lots of different resources to try like relaxation and visualisation exercises. I think I'm going to try writing things down as a way of coping with my feelings.