How to cope with tantrums and screaming?

[Tezzy]

OK, im trying to take deep breaths this morning and count to ten because Rhys is being an absolute nightmare.

As soon as Colin leaves for work, thats it, Rhys turns into a devil child! I cant do any housework without him screaming at me, hitting me, pinching me and generally throwing tantrums.

Ive been trying so desperatly to ignore him and carry on with my chores but im really at my wits end.

I dont do housework all day, we have plenty of one on one play time in the garden and in his play room. He has plenty of toys and doesnt really go without anything. But even during our playtime now hes started being naughty. Yesterday we were feeding the fishes in our pond and when i went to put the food away he went into a tantrum and started throwing rocks at the fish!

I know the weather is hot and of course thats gonna make him cranky but is this just the terrible twos coming early?

 

[Wobbles]

Not been there but I know we'll do the naughty step & ignoring as your trying! The ignoring I heard takes some patience whist they take their time to realise 'hey Mums not bothered' hehe which I guess makes sense.

 

[Tezzy]

its what he does to my house whilst im ignoring him that pisses me off!

 

[Wobbles]

Naughty step then hun if the ignoring turns to him trashing things! Gonna be hard with new born - eek!

 

[cheeky_carrie]

naughty step really works it takes it out of you having to keep at it but its worth it i swear by it

 

[magicvw]

What's the naughty step?

My LO is 1yr and 10 months and I can see the terrible twos approaching fast! I have a variety of methods (and sometimes have to try several!).

If it's screaming - i pick her up and we go to the mirror. The sight of her own face usually stops the screaming! General annoying naughtiness I try to stop by saying no in a nice way and quickly removing her from whatever it is. Then I give her something "new" (kitchen utensil or anything lying around which is safe) and it takes her mind off it. Persistent naughtiness (like she can just reach the cutlery drawer now and keeps grabbing knives) is rewarded with a stern no and if it carries on she gets dumped in the cot then ignored. i haven't yet worked out what I'm going to do when she has figured out how to climb out of the cot tho!!!!

 

[cheeky_carrie]

found this quote rather than me waffling on

If you're exasperated by your child's behavior, set out some clear house rules and try putting them into force using the Naughty Step Technique.
This is one way of giving her time out, giving everyone a chance to calm down and allowing your child a moment to think over what she has done. The Naughty Step could be a step, a chair, a corner or anywhere, so long as your child will be somewhere where nothing will distract her, and is old enough to sit in a chair.
How it works

• When your child misbehaves or breaks one of the house rules, explain what she's done wrong, tell her that her behavior is unacceptable, and warn her that if she behaves in the same way again, she'll be put on the Naughty Step. Make sure your voice remains calm, not angry, and use a low, authoritative tone.
• Is there a particular toy or something which is triggering the situation which you could calmly remove? Or is your child tired or hungry? See if you can help resolve her frustration and move her on to another activity.
• If she misbehaves again, immediately put her on the Naughty Step. Explain clearly why she is there and how long she must stay there (one minute per year of her age).
• If she comes off the Naughty Step, put her back on using gentle but firm movements and keep putting her back onto the step until she realizes that you're committed to keeping her there for the agreed set time.
• Once your child has completed the agreed set time on the Naughty Step, crouch down so you're on the same level, use a low and authoritative tone of voice, and explain why you put her there. Ask her to apologize, and when she does, praise her warmly with a kiss and a cuddle. Say thank you, go back to what you were doing and forget about the incident.
• If your child refuses to apologize (or does something like shouts "sorry" in a way which makes you think she probably doesn't mean it!), continue this technique until she realizes that you need a proper apology. But don't forget the kiss and cuddle at the end!

Variations on the Naughty Step for older children

Older children will outgrow the Naughty Step, so try to cultivate in them a sense of responsibility for their actions by creating a reflection room or chill-out zone. They can be asked to go there when they're angry to give them time and physical space to think things over.

 

[magicvw]

Thanks! That sounds like a good idea! I will try but my little girl is quite behind on her language (due to being brought up bilingual I think), so I don't think she'll understand my reasoning with her Definitely worth a try tho!

 

[Tezzy]

i just dont think that rhys is old enough for the naughty step

 

[magicvw]

How old is Rhys?

 

[Tezzy]

hes 16 months

 

[magicvw]

Wow he's an early naughty one! My LO has only really started getting naughty in the last month or so.

 

[Tezzy]

yeah. i think he can sense another baby is on the way