How to get by on the bad days?

[Sam182]

My little man was just born on Saturday at 27 + 3 due to severe pre eclampsia. I'm still in hospital and struggling with very high blood pressure. I just wonder how those experienced mummies got through the days of worry and stress? Alex was taken off of his ventilator today which is amazing but his blood gas readings are worsening so he may have to be intubated again. I feel so utterly helpless and am finding it hard to cope with the thought of the long weeks ahead. I really do feel at my wits end and I just need some words of advice and positivity...

 

[AP]

I stayed positive. Alex was 27+4 and after a few weeks we got back on our feet and took an hour out here and there from hospital to buy her things, toys, bouncers etc. some people deal with things differently, but sometimes I just needed a breather from the alarms or I'd be no good too anyone!
Every day I'd slap on my make up, do my hair and put on that brave face for her and head up to spend the day in and around hospital. Just my way of coping.

 

[mylittlebud1]

HI, big hugs hun. i had evie at 27+2 she was 2lb 8.

It's such a hard question to answer, like Atomic pink said, i got up put my make up on and got to the hospital and learnt everything about what was going on so i could understand what all the beeping and alarms meant, although i never got used them sounds.

NICU is such a scary place but they're amazing and your LO is in the best place. Stay strong and positive. I had some really down days but you just have to go with it. Its a rollercoaster of a journey where there will be good days and bad days.

I truly wish you all the best and your little LO. PM me anytime for help advise or just to let off some steam! xxxxxxxx

 

[katy1310]

Hi, and congratulations on the birth of your LO. Sophie was born at 27 weeks due to severe pre eclampsia as well.

I felt exactly the same as you at the beginning - I just didn't know how we were going to deal with the weeks ahead. You do get into a routine of sorts though - I was in hospital for 6 days after she was born, and once I got home, we just got up, got ready and went up to the hospital every day.

As time went on, we realised that it was ok to take time out for us - it does get very intense in NICU and in the beginning there is a limit to what you can actually do. We lived 60 miles from the hospital, and although we really missed Sophie, we started to not visit on Sundays purely because we had to have some time to catch up with things and DH needed a break because he had work Monday-Friday. We did get some friends who lived near the hospital to go and see Sophie on Sundays though, so she still had visitors, and they sent us photos.

My advice would be to do everything you are allowed to do in the way of cares, read to your baby etc, and when LO starts wearing clothes, take them home and wash them yourself so it feels like you're actually doing something "normal" for a mummy to be doing. We really found it helped to focus on the little milestones like weight gain, increases in feeds etc. Also, just take it one day at a time, don't focus too much on the length of time till LO's due date.

As I write this, Sophie, who's now nearly 20 months, is climbing all over me and trying to close my laptop!!

Just give me a shout if you need to talk

 

[PleaseBaby]

We just threw ourselves into it and took it one day at a time. Concentrate on the little milestones, puting on wieght, oxygen being reduced slightly. as they start to get older you can do alot more for them. Soon it will besecond nature to you changing nappies through the incubator. Ask loads of questions and get involved with everything x

 

[toothfairyx]

Hi Sam, I hope you are feeling a bit better . Congratulations!
My top tips for getting through it -
although it feels like an eternity and you are living hour by hour at the moment, home time will arrive, and may well arrive earlier than they tell you
I stayed out of NICU during working hours as it was too busy, I didn't want to see procedures and it was a much nicer environment to be in after 6pm. The nurses would tell me anything important
I actually went back to work for a few hours each day to have some sort of "normality" in my life (and I also had some patients to finish as I wasn't organised with cover yet to be off)
We batch cooked meals a week in advance to make sure we ate properly whilst doing all the hospital runs. I went every day bar about 3 when I was too tired or ill to go.
Use the opportunity you have now to make sure you get as much rest as you can and recover from the pregnancy as you will need tons of energy for when your LO comes home - they have growth spurts like nothing else!
Finally don't beat yourself up about not going to term, it's pointless as it won't change anything. Neonatal care is so good these days xx

 

[mummy to be86]

Hello Sam and once again congratulations I had Alfie and thomas @ 27 + 5 we had many ups and down first few hrs alfie had bleed on his lungs and was very ill then a week later thomas developed nec and had to be transferred to a different hospital to have a operation then they finally they both got transferred to my local hospital Thomas once again developed a nasty infection but pulled through and now they are home 10 days before there due date, all babies are little fighters and believe me they will surprise you

 

[Lottie86]

Just wanted to say I hope things go well for your son. I think somehow you just find way to get through the bad days even if it is just adrenaline and autopilot. You soon get into a routine in the hospital which help as you generally know what to expect when etc. If you aren't sure about something that is happening or why it's happening ask, the docs and nurses don't mind and it may help you stay calm. If you want to stay during a procedure then do, if you don't then don't.

Celebrate all the little milestones whether it's weight gain, reducing oxygen levels, milestone amount of days, feeds being increased etc. I found doing Iona a cake for her 100 days milestone and a new balloon for her 150 days has been helping me slightly weird though it probably sounds.

 

[Sam182]

Doesn't sound weird at all