How to night wean 11 month old from several feeds?

[little_lady]

I realise a lot of ladies on this forum will advocate waiting it out for night feeds, but my little boy is 11 months old soon and still waking for milk every 2 to 3 hours. I feel shattered and it's not helping my relationship with my husband. During the day we have dropped to 3 feeds, one on waking, one just before his second nap around 2pm and one just before bedtime. I'm pretty sure he's not waking up hungry, I think it's habit mixed with comfort.

The thing is that I don't want to take away his comfort nursing but I do want to get some decent sleep and reduce the night wakings to just one or two.

Ideally I wanted to fully wean from the breast at a year but I may have to go over. It's not the day time feeds as I think I could drop these without any issue but his night time feeds are just a pain. If I don't feed him then he shrieks so long and loudly Im afraid everyone will wake up so I just feed him for a quiet life.

Does anyone have any experience?

 

[MommyJogger]

I don't have experience with night weaning, but I have experience with a baby who would wake frequently to nurse at night at that age.
3 milk feeds in a day simply isn't going to cut it for a lot of babies at that age. You know your baby best, but I would encourage you not to assume too quickly that he's not waking out of hunger or thirst (I know I was baffled for a while that my son would barely spend any time nursing at night when he woke, but then when he skipped a waking, I'd realize just how much he'd been drinking because I'd be super full on that side and he'd just been nursing very quickly, lol). Probably the first thing I would suggest would be to encourage more daytime nursing to see if that decreases the frequency of the night nursing. If he's good at taking solids, perhaps offer a sustaining (high protein, high-ish fat) snack about 30 minutes before the bedtime nursing session. Milk should be the bulk of the diet until at least a year and many breastfed babies tend to take mostly milk for even a little longer than that. I think weaning around a year is fine, but I would suggest perhaps a little flexibility in the time-frame (rather than, say, severely cutting down on nursing the moment he turns one year) so that you can make it a gentle process for both of you. Have a look into Jay Gordon's night weaning method in a few weeks' time once you've given some careful attention to his daytime calorie/fluid intake and perhaps consider if that's something that would work for your family. GL

 

[babicyntaf]

I have no answers or advice but am hoping that someone has the "magic" answer!! I'm in the same boat with a 9 month old! I've been back at work since she was 4 months old and she seems to want all of her calories off me at night! The longest stretch of sleep I've had in the last 9 months was a 4 hour kip which has never been repeated! It is slowly wearing me down. I love feeding her and enjoy the closeness but would really like some decent sleep!

 

[cautious...]

I'm in the process of trying to night wean my one year old now

I was advised to do so as he doesn't eat solids very well during the day. We see a dietitian due to allergies. I was advised that he may not be hungry in the day because he is feeding so much in the night. This is affecting his weight. I always offer food before milk now.

So....we have gone from co sleeping and several night feeds to sleeping in a cot and one feed at 11pm and again between 5-6 within less than two weeks

It's involved some crying but I've always sat next to the cot to soothe him as I refuse to leave him to cry alone. After a few nights of doing this he started to settle with much less fuss each time he woke. I've been feeding him upstairs as usual and putting him in the cot awake. For the first few nights he really protested but did finally go to sleep with me singing and patting him etc. when he woke in the night I did everything I could to settle him without feeding him or taking him out of the cot. My partner also took over settling him for the first part of the night.

The last two nights he's settled himself in the cot without crying and last night didn't wake until 5.30am. It's a miracle!! I still have the cot beside the bed and sit in the bed and read while he goes to sleep as I don't want to stop comforting him all together with my presence.

I didn't agree with the health visitor that I must cut all night feeds, so I now give him a dream feed at 11pm to carry him through the night.

I never thought we could do it, he is soooo reliant on the breast for comfort. I also felt guilty to be removing something he loves so much. He is eating better during the day now so I'm realising it was worth it!

I hope this makes sense! Please ask any questions and good luck

 

[little_lady]

Thanks cautious!! I am trying to do the same as you - I don't intend to train to sleep through the night but I just want to eliminate unnecessary feeds. Like yours, my baby was not eating much during the day either.

The past couple of nights have been tough as I haven't fed him at night at all for 12 hours. I said to myself that I would if he was inconsolable but he hasn't. He has grumbled and tossed and turned but eventually went to sleep. Last night he woke at 10.30 and then 2am and then 6.20 for the day. Both times he was awake for about half an hour while I tried to settle him.

Unfortunately I had to put him in my bed to achieve this, I did want to get him in his cot but one thing at a time eh!!

Thanks for your help ladies

 

[cautious...]

Definitely one thing at a time. We started co sleeping at 6 months as I needed rest. Do what you have to do and take one step at a time! Good luck!

 

[justmeinlove]

Ooooooooh I TOTALLY empathise!!!! Our LO is coming up to 12 months and wakes up every 2-3 hours, I think I am going to go insane! Also, interestingly, I think she doesn't eat tons either during the day... :\

Out of interest, the people who have tried soothing at night without picking up and feeding, how did it go? I am so tired that the idea of dealing with screaming is terribly offputting. And if she screams, are you then locked into you can't just give up and feed her down because it's a battle of wills?

 

[justmeinlove]

Also the spare bed in her room creaks really annoyingly when you stand up so how on earth do you get back out of their room? (would be SO annoying to get her back to sleep only for the bed to creak and her to wake up and start screaming again!)

 

[cautious...]

Ooooooooh I TOTALLY empathise!!!! Our LO is coming up to 12 months and wakes up every 2-3 hours, I think I am going to go insane! Also, interestingly, I think she doesn't eat tons either during the day... :\

Out of interest, the people who have tried soothing at night without picking up and feeding, how did it go? I am so tired that the idea of dealing with screaming is terribly offputting. And if she screams, are you then locked into you can't just give up and feed her down because it's a battle of wills?

We moved the cot back into our room...that way I could just pat him through the bars etc without getting up. Sometimes he just opens his eyes and sees us and goes back to sleep. For the first few nights he did protest a lot but it improved really quickly, I really didn't expect it to work at all, let alone so quickly. I totally understand what you mean about being so exhausted you will just do anything to get them back to sleep though.

I noticed after only one night that he started eating better in the day, which I guess instantly had an effect on him sleeping at night. He's also dropped his afternoon nap most days now which I think helps as he's tired by bed.

I still think we have a way to go. He's still waking 2 or 3 of times but generally I just pat him or hold his hand and he goes back so sleep. I feel better knowing he's not quite so dependent on me for sleep. Not perfect but a massive improvement so I'll take it!

It's so tempting to feed back to sleep though. I gave up so many times! It also helped having my partner settle him from bedtime until around 11pm (he could wake three times in that period)

Good luck

 

[justmeinlove]

Where does your hb sleep with the cot back in your room? And do you feel unable to move around at night in case you disturb lo? I remember that from when she was tiny.

 

[Rachel_C]

If you're sure you want to night wean, I would increase milk during the day if you can. If you don't want to BF more, I would introduce a cup of formula or perhaps wait till a year and then go straight to whatever milk you normally drink (whole milk if it's cow's milk). Then after a while when LO is settled on that, try something like Dr Jay Gordon's night weaning method. It worked really well for us but LO was just over 2. I have heard success stories with younger babies. However, if it didn't work quite quickly and easily (say within 2 weeks or so), I would be inclined to think that LO just isn't ready (and is hungry) so I would either carry on BF on demand or introduce other milk overnight too, in a cup if possible but bottle if necessary. Instead of totally night weaning, you could look at picking certain hours where you don't BF. I think that's something Dr Gordon does suggest - I started off at just 6 hours without BF, from 11pm-5am and we used a Gro-clock to show LO when it was okay to wake me. After 2 years of waking every 2-4 hours, that 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep was amazing! If you time the 6 hours right, LO is only actually dropping 1 feed but you're getting a lot more sleep.

 

[little_lady]

Joel slept from 8pm to 5.30 last night and then back down after a feed til 7.15. I can't believe it! I've been feeding him once overnight and resettling him if he wakes before 2am or after his feed. Also during the day I've been feeding him three times but trying to up his solids intake.

I agree with the poster who said about crying becomes a battle of wills. If I try and let Joel cry for a bit then he quickly escalates and then I feel like I've 'lost' when I give in and feed him or pick him up, which in turn makes me angry. It's far better when I try and settle him gently and feed only when he clearly won't go back to sleep with my help.

Funnily enough I feel exhausted today even though I had a lot of sleep!

 

[NoodleSnack]

Glad it's working out, hope he keeps up. It can take awhile before your system realises the extra sleep. I'm sure you'll start to feel better with the longer sleep soon.

 

[justmeinlove]

ooh ooh so tell me EXACTLY what you are doing??
And if you can be kind and remind me where you were before and how long this has taken to work...?

 

[little_lady]

Ok so Joel slept through the night from 10 weeks to 16 weeks. Since then he has woken between three and ten times every night, averaging at six times which peaked at seven months. Just before I decided to night wean, we were co sleeping and feeding to sleep on every waking. This way I was getting dozed sleep while he fed.

What I did was for a few nights I gave him water on every waking before 12. I then fed him and for wakings afte that but before 4am I gave him water. I had to resettle a lot to start with by rocking him but after a week he was down to two wakings of half an hour each. I kept with this and then cut out the midnight feed - he was ready for it as he didn't fuss and just went back to sleep when I put him down.

The last thing I did was put him in his cot again. HE seems to like it in there but then he has never been entirely comfortable with co sleeping as he wriggles a lot and doesn't like the proximity of other people in his space.

I have not let him cry at all - I'm not completely opposed to it but when I began to try it, it escalated to the point where i felt it would have been cruel to leave him. If he was just whimpering or moaning I probably would have left him.

Hope that helps!!

 

[Sambatiki]

I was going to offer some advice but seems you're doing really well!

Good luck hope it continues to go well xx

 

[Kristina6292]

Try Dr Jay Gordon's night weaning method, it's really good.
I'm currently trying to night wean my 21 month old! He wakes 2-4 times a night wanting milk.

 

[little_lady]

Thank you.

The last two nights he has woken two or three times. He's been ill and is off solids so I don't mind the extra feeds. It's still a vast improvement!!

I'll be working on dropping the feeds again in a day or two.

I don't know how people carry on night nursing for years!! I feel done with nursin now which is a horrible feeling but I've been pregnant or breast feeding for 3 years straight and I just want my body back. Plus he's started biting me again.

 

[Pearls18]

When we were night weaning we got DH to go in and settle DS with a bottle of water or camomile tea, it worked really quickly for us

 

[justmeinlove]

How's it all going now? I'm getting my courage up to try and start! The comments about water until 12 then a feed and then water until 4 is really helpful.

My one attempt so far has been to pick her up and cuddle her and then put her down to sleep - it did work but she woke up 5 minutes later to cry again. At which point I went 'argh!' and fed her! Is waking up 5 minutes later normal? Do they wake up every 5 minutes until say the hypothetical midnight?