How would you handle this?

[secsimahmah]

DH and I have been ttc #1 for 10 months now. Our best friend is 32 and has a 10yo and just started dating her new boyfriend in January. She knows how long we have been trying and how frustrating its been for us. She sent me a text message yesterday to tell me that she is pregnant and how excited she is and that they weren't even trying. Now it just feels like she's rubbing it in my face all she wants to do is talk to me about how happy and excited she is and all i can think is that i want to slap her. Why her? Why not me? I'm only 21 it shouldn't be this hard for me to conceive. How come she gets it so easy and she's 11 years older than me? She didn't even want a baby right now and I want one more than anything! It's just not fair! All I've done is cry all day! I feel so bitter!

 

[bexxc]

i wish i had something more for you than just empathy. dh and i have been ttc for 13 months. two of my good friends just announced that they were pregnant. one of them is 38 and "accidentally" pregnant with twins and the other is 41. it seems so unfair and it does seem really hard to smile and graciously congratulate people when they have what you want so very badly.
i hope you get your bfp soon!

 

[secsimahmah]

Thank you bexxc. I hope you get your BFP soon too! Have you been to the dr yet to find out if there is some reason you haven't conceived yet? I'm ready for the 1 year mark to get here so I can know if there is something wrong and we can get it fixed...

 

[bexxc]

i have pcos and don't ovulate w/o meds. doc wants me to finish up this 4th round of clomid before referring us to a specialist. i feel like if it hasn't worked the last three times, this month won't be any different, but we'll see. i'm anxious to get to the specialist try something new!

 

[secsimahmah]

I bet! Just keep up your faith hopefully this will be your month! I'm sorry you have PCOS. I know its a hard disease to deal with. A good friend of mine has it. She's 38 and she and her husband just started ttc #1 last year.

 

[Hena]

so sorry you have to deal with this, if she is a truly good friend I hope she will understand if you gently tell her that it's a difficult time for you to hear details about anyone else's pregnancy. Maybe she'll back off a little and let you ask how she's doing when you are able.

Good luck and baby dust to you all!

 

[bexxc]

i wish they didn't make you wait a year to get checked out. that's so frustrating. the only reason i managed to avoid that was because i didn't have af for over 6 months. i don't see why docs won't just do the basic testing for anyone who wants it. they're practice makes money and you have some peace of mind! what's the big deal???

 

[secsimahmah]

Hena- thank you. I know she isn't doing it on purpose so i'm trying to not let it affect our relationship and she did tell me today that she would give me some time if i need it. which kinda made me feel bad for being angry lol. i'm kind of ok with it now. i think what really got to me was that she sent me a text message instead of calling me or telling me in person :/

Bexxc- I totally agree! It's my money let me waste it! hahaha i'm pretty sure there is something going on because my cycles are very very irregular and i know that some months i don't ov but my dr. still won't check me til july. i never knew this could be so frustrating! i have a friend that's been ntnp for 13 months now and the dr told them they can't be tested until they start trying aggressively. how dumb is that?!?!

 

[bexxc]

frustrating is an understatement! i can't believe when we started all this, i actually thought ttc would be kinda fun! what a dummy i was!

and that is totally ridiculous. trying aggressively??? if you've been ntnp for over a year and nothing's happened, you at least deserve to be checked out. all these weird rules just cause people to lie to their docs. how stupid!

 

[littlebird28]

I feel ya! My best friend just had baby #1 last June, the baby is not even a year old. She told me two months ago that they were going to start trying again and BOOM- told me she was pregnant last week. We've been trying for months and months and I've vented to her about why it was taking so long, now I feel like I can't talk to her about it anymore. I know I should be happy for them, but DAMN. Some people just have it much easier than others! :/ Good luck to you, it'll be our time soon enough!

 

[littlebird28]

PS...My husbands favorite baby name for a boy is Remy!

 

[littlebird28]

PSS....(sorry keep checking back in and reading) I also have irregular cycles and only ovulate 8 or so times a year (long cycles, late ovulation, etc) and my doctor started tests right away! She said a doctor should NEVER tell you to wait a year if you know you're irregular and the problem can easily be fixed sooner. The year mark is only for people who have regular cycles with no concerns. Im going in for my 3 day blood workup today...easier said than done, but maybe you should look into a new doctor?!

 

[mummy.wannabe]

i would feel exactly the same! my brother is 3 years younger than me and his gf is pregnant, havent got there own house, been together that long etc etc i cried for ages, its selfish but because thats what i want so much, it made me feel better to have a good cry.

you would think at 21 you would conceive early because thats all you hear, young girls accidently getting pregnant and thats the only side you hear, but you know how many young people on here have been waiting also.

we will all get there one day x good luck x

 

[Maurie]

Hi there, Hope you don't mind my joining. I know how you feel. DH and I have been at it for 19 cycles. It is a really long time, in that period I have had a 16 year old cousin, as well as a cousin our age (24) who wasn't trying, get pregnant AND have their babies. When I found out about the younger cousin I threw my phone across the house. It is just terrible.
Recently I found out I have an aunt who is expecting. The worst part is I had to host a baby shower for her and was asked by my grandma to help her throw my aunts baby shower. I am always crying about it to my husband but trying to save face in front of the rest of my family.

The worst part for me is NONE of them can support a family without help, no insurance, jobs, or husband. All of which I have it seems so unfair.

I do hope you get your BFP soon!
I apologize for the rant, I just know exactly how you feel.



Lots of Baby Dust!

 

[littlebird28]

Hi there, Hope you don't mind my joining. I know how you feel. DH and I have been at it for 19 cycles. It is a really long time, in that period I have had a 16 year old cousin, as well as a cousin our age (24) who wasn't trying, get pregnant AND have their babies. When I found out about the younger cousin I threw my phone across the house. It is just terrible.
Recently I found out I have an aunt who is expecting. The worst part is I had to host a baby shower for her and was asked by my grandma to help her throw my aunts baby shower. I am always crying about it to my husband but trying to save face in front of the rest of my family.

The worst part for me is NONE of them can support a family without help, no insurance, jobs, or husband. All of which I have it seems so unfair.

I do hope you get your BFP soon!
I apologize for the rant, I just know exactly how you feel.



Lots of Baby Dust!

Hugs to you! I feel myself get really judgemental, too...my friend just had her first baby, and coming home from the hospital the nursery was still empty and she didn't have any names picked out. She just said she was overwhelmed and 'not as excited' as she thought. I remember thinking "you don't want this as bad as me...what is wrong with you!? I have my names picked out, baby shower planned, I know what crib we'll use, the way to surprise my husband with the news...I even have the banner picked out for the front yard, for gods sake!" but I guess everyone is different. It'll be our time soon enough!