Huge fear my daughter will get bullied!

[Shezza84uk]

Hi ladies,

Really looking for some reassurance, DD starts school in September and I am desperately worrying about her getting bullied. She has severe SLI ( speech and language impairment) and can't say if someone has hurt her.

I don't know if I'm just being silly but I cant stop crying and seriously having panic attack at the thought, I have always been there to protect her and I feel I'm leaving her to get mistreated. She's going to a language unit as a part of the main school but they have integrated play time and I can't bare to think what can happen to her, I've had to put so much effort into keeping her a happy and confident child I would hate to see her spark diffused.

Please tell me I'm being irrational any advice how to deal with this?

Thank you x

 

[Tiff]

I don't blame you for being worried. I was so worried about how my daughter would do in school in all aspects that I decided against enrolling her this year.

What supports do you have in place? Do you have any workers etc like a speech path etc? Could they come with you to a meeting with the principal of your daughter's school to stress the importance of someone looking out for her as she will have a difficult time to verbalize if someone is mistreating her?



Do your classrooms have EAs? I know the EA's here keep a special eye out for the kiddos who have special needs.

It is very scary, I don't think you are being silly at all. You are wanting to make sure your daughter is okay, and that's something any Mommy worth their salt would do!

 

[ashley_gee89]

Bless you hun!

I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal, life is hard enough for kids these days with or without a disability. Can you speak with the headteacher at your daughters school to try and make sure she is being kept a close eye on ?

Your concerns are perfectly natural and it's a big step for any parent when their kids go to school for the first time, even more so when they have special needs, so don't worry, your perfectly justified. What you need to do is ask yourself how YOU would feel better about her going to school.. For example, maybe ask them to fill out a report each day, with hrly updates, given to you at the end of the day, until you are comfortable that she is ok ? - I have no idea if they would do this, but it's worth a try!

I hope you feel better soon hun, teachers are mostly trained to deal with these sorts of things so, I'm sure she will be absolutely fine xx

 

[Shezza84uk]

Thank you for your replies, I spoke to the language unit and I have the head of speech and language coming to visit the week before school start. I have made a list of things to ask and have added keeping a diary of what she's done in the day to be written so I can discuss it with her.

I have also added that I will do a weekend journal of her activities so instead of being ask how was your weekend they can check her journal. I feel I have a huge uphill ahead of me and I am hoping I can do a good job of it and support her the way I would like to.

Thank you for your suggestions I guess I need to hope for the best xx

 

[nailvarnish]

My daughter suffers from s&l delay, she's very much behind her peers in her language, she has just finished her first year in full time school I had the same worries as you but hand on heart I can honestly say that at their young age the speech barrier does not stop them forming close bonds with other children, her classmates are very protective over her, the other girls mother her and she is very popular with the whole class. She has a close friendship with one girl and is also close friends with a small group of popular girls, the ones I would have expected to leave her out if any of the class were to do so. Her friends will speak for her and I often hear things about her day from other children in her class. If your daughter is not fully integrated with these children all the time then it's important the school makes effort to allow her sessions with them to bond. I'm not saying that sometimes there's no problems for example my daughters speech delay makes it harder for her to understand if it's time to tidy up she sees the help as them taking things away, but she will always use her voice by screeching or crying to get the teachers attention. There's also the issue that the other children sometimes take over and treat her like a baby but the teachers always try and give her chances to do things herself and ask the children to let her do things for herself so she doesn't lose confidence or independence. I'm sure your daughter will not lose her confidence the first year for my daughter has made her more confident and being around children who can speak has helped her speech also. Try and relax It will be fine I'm sure the children will love your daughter for all her personality

 

[ashley_gee89]

Thank you for your replies, I spoke to the language unit and I have the head of speech and language coming to visit the week before school start. I have made a list of things to ask and have added keeping a diary of what she's done in the day to be written so I can discuss it with her.

I have also added that I will do a weekend journal of her activities so instead of being ask how was your weekend they can check her journal. I feel I have a huge uphill ahead of me and I am hoping I can do a good job of it and support her the way I would like to.

Thank you for your suggestions I guess I need to hope for the best xx

Never doubt yourself hun, as a caring mother (which, even from your posts, anyone can see you care deeply), you will get it right no matter what. We all, as parents, make mistakes but the key thing is to learn from them & no matter what that mistake may be, your daughter won't hold it against you.

However, if you are feeling overwhelmed you need to have time to yourself too, i.e get yourself for a massage or something to relax and not have to worry so much. I get this by going to the gym, the treadmill keeps me sane!

Sounds like you have things sorted for now at least, just go with it, you'll get there & never be worried to ask for extra help for your daughter either

 

[anita665]

I don't really have any advice but I'm in the same situation as you. My son has severe s&l delays too and is very slowly being assessed for an ASD. He's so quiet and shy too and I dread him starting school which he does in September.

I just see him as this lost little boy and I want to be there to help him.

The only thing which is really calming my nerves is the fact he will have a classroom assistant with him pretty much all the time and it's a tiny school so he will have lots of help. Also I've been in with him a couple of times and all of the children are really friendly too. He's lucky to be in such a good school.

 

[Blue12]

As a teacher I have to say that especially at that young age kids are often so kind to one another no matter what. What is also important is how the teacher is to help the positive environment.

 

[Shezza84uk]

Thank you all so much! It's very difficult to envision how things are going to be but I'm trying to remain positive!

Once we get through the first week I will know what direction she's heading x

 

[ashley_gee89]

Thank you all so much! It's very difficult to envision how things are going to be but I'm trying to remain positive!

Once we get through the first week I will know what direction she's heading x

With a mummy like you she is heading in the right direction! I hope I can keep as positive and helpful ad u r !

 

[JASMAK]

I worry too. I worry with all my kids, but yes..I worry about Makena. She is going into grade 2 this year.

 

[Annie77]

I work as an occupational therapist and give frequent talks at my daughters school about disability issues (in a fairly light way obviously). Primary school children are so much better at accepting their peers so try not to worry too much. My daughter regularly got hit by a little girl in her group with ASD and she seemed to understand why this happened with very little explanation. She now knows what can cause her friend to become anxious etc and hit out and they play together fairly well - kids just take it in their stride.

 

[Sproglet]

I have to echo what Annie said- I work as an assistant in a school with children aged 4-7, part of my job is supporting children with SEN. Generally young children are very accepting of their peers regardless of their differences, and have a very 'take them or leave them' attitude- they either play nicely together or stay out of each others way, but very very rarely is there bullying in the early school years.

I am sure your LO will soon find a circle of friends who will support her, and stick up for her when she needs it, and even help her communicate- I find that children with SLI are often understood better by their friends than by the adults!

You may want to prepare some simple answers though as some of the children will naturally be curious and want to know why your daughter is different. For example, we have a little girl with cerebral palsy who walks with a frame, when the other children have asked why we say something along the lines of 'her legs get tired easily'.

 

[Shezza84uk]

Hi ladies, just thought I would update everyone my little, big girl is now officially in school she's just so gorgeous in her school uniform. Once we arrived she was overly excited and ran off saying time for school, I was reassured that her class will not be integrated with the older kids until they know if they can handle it and a plus is she is in a class of 8 children with 2 Speech Therapist at a table of 4.

I am really hoping this will be a positive experience which will continue to encourage her to keep trying I cant wait to start having great conversations with her, I know I am getting ahead of myself because we have a way to go but I am hopeful.


Thank you all for the reassurance I seriously started to flake onward and upwards now xx

 

[Aunty E]

So glad to hear it went well Imogen started nursery this week, and I was bricking it because she pretty much doesn't talk at all, and isn't potty trained, and has some difficult behaviours, but so far it's been awesome. She hasn't wet herself, she has been very excited about going and says 'school' (well gool anyway) a lot. And she's made a little friend, an older child who plays with her, but this is massive progress for her, as she won't normally let anyone play with her, never mind other children. We're so pleased, and so glad we sent her. We did consider not starting for another year to see if her speech improved, but I think going now has been the right thing to do. Fingers crossed all our special munchkins keep having awesome school fun

 

[MilosMommy7]

i dont have any advice, but i'm right there with you! my son has autism and cant communicate (working on that with an ipad). i'm constantly worrying that something will happen that he cant tell me. to the point of bringing me to tears and panicking over it. we'll just have to take it one day at a time and watch for any signs of abnormal distress after school (something she wouldnt be normally doing if she was upset about something else). i'm sure our kids will be fine and we're just typical mothers that care too much