Hypnobirthing and feeling like a failure due to the amount of pressure..

[GeorgeyGal]

I do think that having a good labour is partly down to luck so e.g. for my labour there is nothing more I could have done no matter how relaxed I was. I practiced the hypno techniques religeously for months, at least 2 hrs a night (my practicioner said for those who dont have good births its because they dont believe in it or dont practice enough!) Well I did, believe me, and truely believed in it or I wouldnt have chosen a home birth!

Of course if you go into it thinking, Im terrified I want every drug going! that is another story and getting mindset a bit more positive 'could' be the difference between a natural or c section birth due to intervention etc.

But showing these 'perfect' calm births on video is irresponsible, not one woman I saw hardly did more than a murmor, what message is that, if I scream during my labour I have failed, I didnt practice enough! And then theres the panic of, oh god Im in pain I wasnt prepared for this, help!!

Dont get me wrong I had a positive calm birth and was really proud of myself how well I did and I enjoyed my c section, it was the failure to go into labour myself and feeling angry that I shouldnt be proud of how well I did because it wasnt a hypno birth so it must be my fault, something I did or didnt do. I know now I did the best I could and I couldnt have done anymore.

 

[summer rain]

I've never done hypnobirthing but have looked into it (and my sister did it with her daughters) and decided it works well for some but is not for me. I've had a homebirth before and booked one this time; but due to living down a private road and it being extremely icy when my son was born the midwives said due to insurance issues and so on it would be difficult for them to come to me, I could have forced them to come as it is legally obliged for them to send a midwife to you, but I just had a bad feeling that I couldn't handle giving birth at home this time so I told them just leave it. I was worried about not getting to the hospital in time as my previous labours had been precipitous but I needn't have worried because I ended up having contractions on and off for two days and they started up really strong but kept stopping, over 12 hours before we finally went to hospital. When I got to hospital I was only 1cm dilated; but was in agony; with my others I felt that way when I was 9cm. I needed to hit the gas and air very early just to be able to cope and it ended up that me being on the bed propped up was the best thing as LO shot out, facing sideways when the midwives were out of the room, with his waters intact. With my second youngest; who I had at home the midwives forgot the correct attachment to the gas and air and I don't think I would have coped at all well if that had happened again; I would have probably panicked. I have come across ladies who have been quite condescending over the fact I didn't get to have my homebirth this time, usually ladies who were pregnant and expecting a few weeks after me who idealised things, but several of them have had similar experiences since so I hope they realise now things are not always so cut and dried xx

 

[Cattia]

I did NCT with my daughter and whilst I did find it very informative, there was definitely an expectation on you to habe a natural, pain free labour. My daughter was back to back and I had 48 hours of intense contractions before even getting into established labour. I asked for an epidural and eended up with forceps and an episiotomy. I felt ok about my labour but iy certainly wasn't the idealized experience I had been led to expect. With my son I had no expectations. I was prepared for anything and fully expected to have to go to hospital, but as it turned out, I had him at the birthing centre, in the pool in 2 hours of established labour with no pain relief. It was a great experience and I am sure it was helped by me being so much more chilled out about the whole thing, I felt no pressure at all. I am sure if he had been back to back it would have gone a similar way to ny daughter, i just count it as lucky.

 

[Tulip]

Summer Rain - it's a comfort for me to hear the difference in pain you felt between labours... Hopefully next time I'll be able to get further before going in, or even better get my HB

 

[lynnikins]

i think first time round for a woman to get a natural med free labour is a blessing, your body is going through something new its hard and can be very scary, i planned a nice calm waterbirth for ds1 but ended up after 56 hours of labor having him with my legs in stirrups flat on my back with ventouse assistance, it didnt go to plan but with him malpresenting with his arm over his BIG head then he wasnt gonna move down by himself with the teeny bit of energy i had left to push at that point. yes his heartrate was fine i could have probably just taken a nap at that point or rested and got some energy back and delivered him myself but i was scared and fighting the pain tensing up so fighting what my body was trying to do.
with ds2 i knew from experience things could go wrong i took up the offer of induction at 40+10 and dont regret it we know why now my body didnt start labour itself but that push from the induction gel was what was needed and i had him naturally with just the use of my TENS and gas and air and relaxation breathing getting me through 7 hours of labour I loved the experience of his birth and as long as theres no medical reason for induction this baby will come in its own time and i plan to use the same relaxation breathing techniques and my Tens and possibly water to get me through this labour too.

experience counts for alot in birth IMO, a positive attitude and knowing the risks of things is good but birth and labour is different for every woman for every pregnancy so we might have an ideal of how we want it to be but should be prepared for what could happen or need to happen if things dont go to plan