I am a proud mummy of 2...ask me anything!

[Honeybee88x]

I remember when I was in the second trimester with my first baby and I remember feeling like I didn't have a clue about anything to do with pregnancy, birth and newborns and a nice lady who had a 6 month old started a thread like this and I found it very helpful (as I believe did quite a few other pregnant ladies on the boards at the time) and I thought I would do this same now I am on the other side!

I have a little girl who will be 3 years old next month who was born vaginally at 36+1 and weighed 6lb 7oz and I have a little boy who was 16 months yesterday born by c-section at 40+1 and weighed 10lb 2.5oz.

I don't pretend to be an expert in any way, shape or form! though I like to think I have learned a thing or 2 through my experiences of pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood so far and it is nice to have the chance to help other people even if it's only a tiny bit.

I remember thinking on numerous occasions 'I can't ask that they'll think I'm stupid!' trust me there are no stupid questions so ask me ANYTHING? I will try my best to answer as quickly and in as much detail as I can. I hope I can offer some advice, alleviate some fears or just be a listening ear

Over to you ladies...

 

[first.timemum]

That is very nice of you to put this up. For me im still learning everything as im a first time mum to be and tbh I am really scared about the labour part I still have a few months left but the only thing Ican think of is the labour what its going to be like how can I handle the pain and will my partner be able to cope with me through it xx

 

[GeralynB]

Thanks for putting this up. I am also a first time mom. I feel like I have no clue about anything! The labor part, after the baby gets here…feeding, trying to get into a routine, sleep, etc. I know nothing!

 

[HopefulPony]

I already have one but... Honestly what's it like having 2? We are TTC number 2 and most people who only have one keep telling us we're mad! I want to hear some positivity sorry to gate crash lol

 

[first.timemum]

I feel the same aparently it comes natural but I just dont feel like it will come. My mum has tried helping me but its hard to talk to her as it was 22 years ago she had a baby to deal with and thibgs have changed since then xx

 

[Honeybee88x]

That is very nice of you to put this up. For me im still learning everything as im a first time mum to be and tbh I am really scared about the labour part I still have a few months left but the only thing Ican think of is the labour what its going to be like how can I handle the pain and will my partner be able to cope with me through it xx

Warning! this is probably going to be a long reply lol!

This is a difficult question as it varies so much between women. It is perfectly normal to be scared hun, it's a big life changing event but its natural. try and remember that our bodies are designed for this.

I don't want to make you even more scared by telling you about my labours as I feel that when I compare them to my family and friends labours mine seem to sound the worst but I want to be honest and tell you how mine went.

My first labour was a shock really as it was early. I was scared like you and to be honest I believed that my first contractions upto around 3cm were just braxton hicks as i'd had them quite strongly since about 25 weeks so it was a shock to have the hospital tell me i was in labour. I found the labour quite traumatic to be honest with you I dont feel like I got over it for a few months afterwards. The best way I can describe it is that it was very intense. I wasnt prepared for it really, but I dont think you ever can be. you need to try and just do what you need during labour dont worry about anyone else about what they think, feel etc

alot can happen in a very small space of time and the best thing you can do is go with it dont fight it, your body knows what to do.

I wont lie hun labour was very painful for me and also very uncomfortable you always hear about the pain but I also hated the uncomfortable feeling I just couldnt get comfortable anywhere and that made me frustrated. I feel that my labours were more difficult/painful due to things not going as smoothly as they could/should have done, my little girl was back to back and had her cord wrapped around her neck and was also early and my little boy was a very large baby and i am only 5 feet tall so I needed a c section as he just couldnt fit out! most of my friends and families labours were much smoother and not quite as painful apparently so I might have just been unlucky.

Im sorry i feel like im not helping at all. If you would like me to go more indepth step by step of my labours I can if that would help let me know.

as for your partner I dont how he will be. my DH is very laid back and doesnt talk much. so he just stayed by my side and gave me drinks and held my hand really though my labours. it will be hard my DH said he wasnt prepared for how hard it was going to be feeling like he couldnt do anything to help and that it was hard to see me in so much pain but really what most women was is them just to be there and thats enough

 

[Honeybee88x]

Thanks for putting this up. I am also a first time mom. I feel like I have no clue about anything! The labor part, after the baby gets here…feeding, trying to get into a routine, sleep, etc. I know nothing!

Trust me it will come to you. I had zero experience with kids before having my kids but you get to know them like anyone else. I read alot of books and forums and talked to health visitors and drs while pregnant and early months with my little girl but just go with your gut instinct, it is nearly always right. it really is true do what you think is right for your baby and you wont go far wrong. I still feel like im stumbling in the dark most days just relax and grow with them. it took me years to work that out and were all much happier

 

[Honeybee88x]

I already have one but... Honestly what's it like having 2? We are TTC number 2 and most people who only have one keep telling us we're mad! I want to hear some positivity sorry to gate crash lol

Lol it is hard work. My little boy was a surprise we didnt expect to have another baby so soon, there are 19 months between my kids. the pregnancy was hard. having a young toddler climbing over you when your heavily pregnant isnt the most comfortable. my little girl was a late walker so trying to carry her around when heavily pregnant was hard as was being away from her in the hospital for 4 days after my c section. But now that they are getting abit older it is lovely. I like that they have someone to play with and Im quite glad they are so close. they are starting to talk to each other now aswell which is beyond cute. We tried putting our kids in the same room to sleep a few weeks ago and sat outside the door to see if they would settle and I heard my little girl say 'sleep tight Benji, night night' and then after a moment my little boy said 'niiiight niiiight' it was adorable.

as im sure you have felt with your little one at times you are so stressed and think why the hell did i have kids and then they do something that just makes it all worth it, with 2 its double the stress but double the rewards too

hope the TTC goes well

 

[ThinkPositiv]

I will have 2 under two in January..... Double the stress but double the rewards.... Thank u, I needed to hear that! Although planned and actually wanted a closer age gap there r times I wonder if we r crazy!

I already have one but... Honestly what's it like having 2? We are TTC number 2 and most people who only have one keep telling us we're mad! I want to hear some positivity sorry to gate crash lol

Lol it is hard work. My little boy was a surprise we didnt expect to have another baby so soon, there are 19 months between my kids. the pregnancy was hard. having a young toddler climbing over you when your heavily pregnant isnt the most comfortable. my little girl was a late walker so trying to carry her around when heavily pregnant was hard as was being away from her in the hospital for 4 days after my c section. But now that they are getting abit older it is lovely. I like that they have someone to play with and Im quite glad they are so close. they are starting to talk to each other now aswell which is beyond cute. We tried putting our kids in the same room to sleep a few weeks ago and sat outside the door to see if they would settle and I heard my little girl say 'sleep tight Benji, night night' and then after a moment my little boy said 'niiiight niiiight' it was adorable.

as im sure you have felt with your little one at times you are so stressed and think why the hell did i have kids and then they do something that just makes it all worth it, with 2 its double the stress but double the rewards too

hope the TTC goes well

 

[x Helen x]

Second time mum to be here

did you experience any jealousy from your older child when baby arrived, and if so how did you deal with it? Thanks x

 

[Honeybee88x]

Second time mum to be here

did you experience any jealousy from your older child when baby arrived, and if so how did you deal with it? Thanks x

Not really hun. I think that it helped that they were closer in age. I think if I was to have a newborn now my little girl would probably be showing more signs of jealousy. tbh she just ignored her little brothers existence for the first few months of his life! and then I think she just got used to him being there and actually wants him around all the time now as she cant really remember him not being here now. the only jealousy that she has really shown was when she went through a phase a couple of months ago where she would do ANYTHING her little brother did so if he threw something on the floor so would she and when he was trying to sit up unaided and fell over and banged his head and cried she would bang her head on purpose and cry for the attention. It was difficult as I knew that my son wasn't doing most things on purpose so I didn't want to tell him off for it but wanted to tell my daughter not to do it as i knew she was doing it on purpose but felt torn as she didn't understand why I was asking her to stop and not her brother. now they are older they are treated the same and we make sure that they both have alone time with both of us. to be completely honest my little girl still probably gets more attention. my little boy is very laid back (like his daddy) and actually likes hes own company and will happily play by himself (in the same room as us obviously) but my little girl wants constant stimulation! i suppose it really depends on the children's personalities though.

Hope this helped

 

[HopefulPony]

Thank you very reassuring. My little boy already walks so that's good, he's very attached to me though and likes a lot of cuddles and picking up so it might be tricky.

 

[x Helen x]

Thanks hun, really helpful my little girl will be 2 and 3 months when LO arrives, hoping she will be ok as generally she is not the jealous or possessive type, but at the same time she loves my attention and cuddles so not sure how she will be when she realised she has to share me! She is quite helpful around the house though and maternal with her teddies so I'm hoping she will be my little helper x

 

[ajlj1126]

You're awesome for starting this!

I'm having my second one also. My DD is only 10 (almost 11) months now, so babies will only be 1 yr & 4 months apart. It terrifies me.

But my question is is how do you make time for you & your SO? I'm so worried because we don't have a lot of family/friends here who are willing to help us out now, and we only have one, so I'm worried we'll NEVER get time together when we have two. I don't want him thinking he is last on my list of priorities.

 

[first.timemum]

Wow thankyou for being honest . My friend has just had a bahy and told me how her labour was but sounds really easy everyone makes it sound easy and it scares me because ive herd a few that were hard and im really worried that mine will be hard as I dont like pain and cant handle even stumping my toe.. I hope I can cope and my poor partner keeps saying to me he isnt sure what he can do to help he just wants to take the pain for me and nice things like that but it scares me moee knowing he cant help me xxx

 

[Honeybee88x]

You're awesome for starting this!

I'm having my second one also. My DD is only 10 (almost 11) months now, so babies will only be 1 yr & 4 months apart. It terrifies me.

But my question is is how do you make time for you & your SO? I'm so worried because we don't have a lot of family/friends here who are willing to help us out now, and we only have one, so I'm worried we'll NEVER get time together when we have two. I don't want him thinking he is last on my list of priorities.

Hi It can be difficult. we especially disliked it at first when my little boy was in no real routine so we couldn't just settle down in the evenings to have some quality time together. my kids are both bad sleepers and my little boy still wakes up 6+ times between bedtime (7pm) and getting up (sometimes as early as 5am ) but it is more manageable now he just has a bit of milk and he goes back to sleep.

My family and most friends don't want to look after my kids either,my family have the view that they are MY kids and I should look after them, because of this we have only actually gone out 3 times since my little girl was born and haven't been out since my little boy was born at all! and 2 of those times it was a friend looking after her. I even had to have a friend travel 2.5 hours to our house to look after my little girl when I went into labour with my little boy as my family wouldn't look after her

We now realise that there is nothing we can do about the situation, we know that we will have to wait until the kids are older before we feel comfortable enough to have them looked after by a babysitter to be able to go out and my little boy will probably still keep waking up til he's 2.5 like his sister and my husband will need to work evenings/nights 4 nights a week until he gets another job, but what we do is make sure that the little time we have alone together we make the most of. some nights we make a point of turning the tv/computer/phones off and make sure we spend time just being a couple talking or whatever...

I know that probably sounds stupid but with two kids its nice to just completely stop for a while and I think it really helps us stay connected as a couple. I make sure I stop during the day and just give my DH a hug and kiss and tell him I love him so he knows I appreciate and love him.

If I was gonna give you any advice, though you don't have to take it as it might not work for you, I would say try and get your kids (and yourself) into a routine as I felt we all felt better for it as the kids felt secure knowing when things were going to happen, you feel less stressed as you know when things are going to happen and you know when you are going to get time with your partner and can make the most of each time as you don't feel guilty that you either haven't spent enough time with the kids or your partner or haven't done the chores!

hope your pregnancy is going well hun

 

[Honeybee88x]

Wow thankyou for being honest . My friend has just had a bahy and told me how her labour was but sounds really easy everyone makes it sound easy and it scares me because ive herd a few that were hard and im really worried that mine will be hard as I dont like pain and cant handle even stumping my toe.. I hope I can cope and my poor partner keeps saying to me he isnt sure what he can do to help he just wants to take the pain for me and nice things like that but it scares me moee knowing he cant help me xxx

it might be easy for you though hun. trust me I have cried when ive stumped my toe

I think everyone feels like they wont cope with labour and you will probably have moments during when you think i just cant physically do this anymore. but you can do it. I have every faith in you and if things dont go so smoothly dont panic you can handle all of it and remember that afterwards too. having kids is rewarding but also very hardwork. nothing worth having comes easily. You can handle more than you think

You partner sounds kind and thoughtful too im sure you can make your labour a happy experience for you both x