I am so fed up with my mum.

xVAP

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As I've mentioned on other threads, she wont let FOB come round anymore, he's practically banned from the house. We were only best friends, and before I got pregnant, my mum loved him and they got on so well - she never had a problem with him staying over even as we stayed in the same bed.

I understand she's mad at him - well probably the both of us. But my FOB is genuinely gutted that his relationship with her is ruined. He lives with his Grandma, and doesnt get to see his mum that often as she lives a little while away. (He does see his mum, he wasnt kicked out his family just moved away and he didnt want to move there.) He said he understands why she's not pleased with us getting pregnant, but he also said (and quite rightly) that he's never done anything bad by her, or even me.

Also, my relationship with her practically doesnt exist anymore. She is furious with me. She wont talk to me unless its to say, "I cant talk right now." She barely even looks at me - only when I walk in the room to see who it is. I'm at FOB's alone right now - him and his grandma are at work and I just feel so lonely. I have a big family but even when I'm home I feel lonely. My little brother has no time for me, my sisters and older brother are always busy/out with their friends.

And I know my mum being this way is putting a strain on my parents relationship as my dad isnt making as big of a deal about it - obviously he's not impressed but he thinks she's going the wrong way about it. And I know they're talking about what they're going to do about it - hopefully my dad will convince her that FOB cant be banned from the house forever, but I dont want her ignoring him like she does me right now.

I'm just so upset with it all.
 
I think your mother has to wrap her head around how dramatically your life is about to change. She will have to help you and i think she wanted you to be able to do it on you own. mother's always want their little girls to stay little girls for ever and now you are not a little girl anymore because you are about to become a mother with responsibility. I would give her space and time to cope the way she has been and you need to take this time to show her you can handle this big situation.
 
Your mom SHOULD be mad at herself.
What the hell did she expect to happen? No child should be sleeping in bed with a guy overnight.
I don't care if my kid is 18- you will not have a man up in the bed with you spending the night unless you are married.
She shouldve been a better mother & stopped it but she didnt- so now she needs to women up & help you.. Not just abandon you because she's angry.
give her some time maybe she'll come around but If I were you i'd try to become a little more independent.
 
I don't agree that it's bad parenting :wacko:
She needs time to come around to everything, after all, you are her baby and now you yourself are having a baby! It's a scary though in general but then she's probably worried about how you will cope, and how you will afford everything etc etc, I'm sure she will come around soon enough, chin up! :hugs:
 
Thanks girls. You're probably right that she's just worrying about it, but it makes me feel worse that I cant turn to her and talk to her when I need her.

Missmiylove, for a start, he was allowed to sleep in my bed because my parents trusted me. And tbf, we never once had sex in my bed, it was always at his cause his Grandma works alot. We should've used protection, and tbh my parents educated my more than enough on different types of contraception, and me not using it is a poor reflection on myself, there was nothing more they could do.

I respect you for holding traditional values like that, but tbh my parents arent that traditional. My grandma (on my mum's side) was that traditional, and tried keeping my mum away from boys for so long, that when she was 17 she ran away with a 30 year old lorry driver. (For about a week until she realised it wasnt as amazing as she thought it was gunna be.)

The parenting techniques you may want to use when you have a daughter are very different to the ones my mother chose - and I respect that, but please dont be so rude as to imply that my mother is a bad mother.
 
Aww :hugs: My mum came around after a few weeks but it took me a long time to be able to talk to her about everything, I really hope she comes around soon! Feel free to message me if you like :) x
 
I agree with your response to the first comment.. your mother clearly trusted you and I would have given anything to get that from my mom! I was a responsible teenager and wish she could have seen that.. I wasn't even allowed to have boys over for a long time and it hurt my feelings that my mother couldn't trust me. I know she loved me and was trying to protect me, but I wished so badly she could see what kind of teenager I really was! I snuck behind her back and did everything anyways but I was smart and safe about it and I wish I could have told her that through out my teenage years instead of hiding it from her.

As for the way she's acting now.. she's clearly mad at you but she needs to get over it! and I'm sorry :hugs: I'm sure with time she eventually will, and you know once your LO gets here she will love them so much. Maybe try talking to your dad about it? Tell him how you feel and that it hurts she's acting this way. Maybe he can talk with her and get her to see it differently. It doesn't sound like she's just mad at your OH it sounds like she's mad at you too! So maybe when she does finally come to grips with it, she'll get over her grudge with him as well.

And I'm sorry about the loneliness.. I feel you on that one. My OH works all day pretty much, when he gets home we just eat dinner and he goes to bed. I'm home all day by myself and I have awful insomnia too, so I'm awake all night by myself as well. It sucks and it's really starting to depress me. I luckily only have a few more weeks until my LO is here, so I'm hoping his company will keep me sane! (Which I'm sure it will :flower:)
 

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