i belong here now, noah born 6 weeks early

[k4tie]

Hey everyone,

My little Noah was born 17th January at 12.57am weighing 5lb 10oz, he is doing very well with only a glucose drip and nasal gastric feeding tube, he is breathing with no assistance.

I love him so much, but I admit I'm finding it hard to bond with him, I didn't see him till yesterday, havent held him etc n I feel like I'm not getting a chance to bond with him like normal mums do.

Can anybody guide me on timeframes of when he'll be home, good milestones to look out for etc.

Thanks all so much

 

[grumpymoo]

Hello and congratulations on Noah!

Rose was born almost 7 weeks early so i can understand what you are going through. I didn't really see her for 48 hours (she was in another hospital) and even then she was in an incubator, it is hard. But as you get used to the surroundings and are able to sit and cuddle Noah loads it will get easier and easier to bond.

Dont forget, lots of mums feel like you anyway when they have term babies but you have just been through a lot and you are having to cope with that too.

Rose was on cpap and air for a while so Noah is already doing fab breathing all on his own.
She came home after 2 weeks once her feeding was established and she no longer needed her tube, although some babies can go home with the tube if needed. She weighed 4lbs when she came home.

Hopefully Noah will be home in no time as he already sounds like he is doing fab!

Hope you are ok too

 

[Marleysgirl]

Just to reassure you - it may not happen immediately, but the bonding does come. I saw my baby after 12 hours, didn't get to hold him for about 4 or 5 days, and then only for a few minutes (he was on a ventilator). He spent 11 weeks on SCBU, progressing from intensive care through to the nursery, and I got to know him slowly over this time, but it still felt slightly surreal and that I had a "borrowed baby".

The "wooomph" of feeling happened when I stayed in overnight to help get feeding established, at last I was alone with him in a private room, and he was mine

Congratulations, and welcome to the world Noah!

 

[everhopeful]

Oh hon,

My little Noah was born 6 weeks early too!! He came home after being in special care for 10 days. What a good weight for your little Noah!! Sounds like he is doing really well. I found it hard to bond too at first but I more than made up for missed cuddles as soon as I got him home!!
Good luck and hope that everything goes smoothly and you get your little boy home soon!!
xx

 

[Tegans Mama]

My LO wasn't a preemie, but she was in hospital for eight weeks after she was born, and I had issues with bonding with her too. I didn't see her for the first three days, and then didn't hold her until she was just over a week old.

The bonding REALLY develops once you bring them home, or are able to take them into a private environment. Good luck

 

[nkbapbt]

Congrats firstly!

And secondly I agree it is natural and hard to bond with your baby when they are in the NICU. My son was born 16 weeks early and I was not able to hold him for a month after he was born. I did see him within a couple of hours of his birth though and for moments when he was first born.

I felt very exposed and so uncomfortable at first in the NICU, I felt sometimes like all eyes were on me and whatever I was doing with him. It took literally months before I felt empowered and secure enough to truly "own" my baby. It actually took a WONDERFUL nurse to say "OWN YOUR BABY" to me and that they were simply looking after him and he was our baby, not theirs. And we were incharge.

I found it very useful to learn as much as I could about his care while he was in the NICU, I tried to do everything the nurses did within reason for him. Sure I was nervous, I mean at first he was so fragile and I felt like I was going to hurt him all the time.

Most NICU nurses and doctors want the parents to be involved and urge you to do so. This is also a very good way to bond.

I think you will find that you will bond very soon with your son and it will all fall into place once it does.

Don't feel guilty if you are..about feeling the way you are, its totally normal.

I agree the real bonding takes hold once you are alone or home with your baby. I use to worry that my son would never bond to me like a full term baby would, but honestly? He is beyond bonded to me almost to the point where he is a big huge suck with me.

It will get better hon! Hang in there.

 

[embojet]

Congratulations! It sounds like Noah is doing brilliantly. I definately found it hard bonding with Molly whilst she was in hospital. As the others have said, it will come. I didnt se Molly for 36 hours after she was born cos I was very poorly, and seeing them in an incubator surrounded by nurses isnt the same as having a private cuddle on the sofa at home. .

 

[CazH]

Congratulations on the birth of Noah! I didnt get to hold my boy for a few days as he was so small and fragile. I agree with the others you never really feel they are yours until you get home even my husband said he never really felt he was his. But believe me once you get them home you will feel like a family with no one looking at what your doing!! I wish Noah all the best and keep us upto date on his progress xx

 

[bumpsmum]

congratulations, baby Noah sounds like he is doing great and such a good weight. The unit generally tend you to expect baby to be in hosp until their due date, Matthew was born 33+4 and stayed in 17 days the norm for babies born 6-7 weeks early is 2-3 weeks (depending on different complications, feeding issues etc).

I agree with the girls try and do as much of his care as you ca, when he is strong enough get used to lifting him in/out incubator, that bit really freaked me out and I missed out a few days practice as I was too scared and had to wait til my OH came straight from work to lift him for me. Also keep asking them when you can do various things for him. It was a good few days before we got to hold Matthew but 3 days before anyone thought to mention we were allowed to touch him .

Best of luck in your journey, keep us updated when you can and some pics of your gorgeous boy would be lovely xx

 

[Bec L]

Hi and congratulations! Great weight for a preemie Poppy was 6 weeks early too and she was in for 2 weeks. She was the same as Noah, on a drip and nasal tube but as soon as she started to demand feed we could bring her home. She was in an incubator for 1 week and then in a cot.

Hope it's not long till he's back home with you and you can bet you'll be bonding like nobodies business

 

[k4tie]

Thanks everyone,

He is now 1 week old today and has come on leaps and bounds, he's now in an open cot in the 'nursery' and only has his nasogastric tube in place, not attached to anything else. So bonding has become much much easier as we do all his changes, baths etc.

I just need some advice really, he is currently on 3 hourly feeds, 2 ng feeds to 1 bottle feed. He has done absolutely fantastic and has gone from last week to having 1ml p/h to 61ml every 3 hours, so he's absolutely moving in the right direction. He is yet to have the full 61ml by bottle, 1 feed he may do 35ml the next 56ml, it's quite hit and miss at the moment. He is very much demand feeding as well, as he cries and cries and cries with hunger until he is fed, which is obviously a good sign!

I just kinda wondered how long it took your little ones, to progress from this stage to the 4hourly and then being purely on demand feeding and also taking the full bottle. We asked what kind of time scale we are looking at and answers have ranged from his due date (27th feb!!) to when he is 37 weeks, to another weeks time.

He is doing so well and we're so proud, but i just kind of feel a bit lost and in limbo.

Thanks guys

xxx

 

[Marleysgirl]

Well done so far!

Andrew progressed really quickly through the 2hrly & 3hrly stage onto 4hrly, and at his discharge was taking around 60ml/feed at 4hrly.

A week before discharge, I was attempting to BF and his top-ups were by NG tube. I roomed in for one night, and it didn't go well. Two days later, we made the decision to try him on bottled EBM and he never looked back - with the preemie teat, he took his entire feed by bottle immediately and was always bottle-fed from then on (apart from the occasional unsuccessful attempt to BF).

This was the final step before his discharge, so it was a wonderful achievement - the nurses needed to see that we could feed him at home, without the NG tube. Once his feeding was established (three days without tube top-ups) he was considered for discharge.

As for the move from 4hrly to on-demand ... One night! He was discharged with strict instructions to us to feed him every four hours, which we did for that evening, night and the next day. Then we wondered why on earth we were waking him for a feed when, if he was hungry, he'd wake anyway. So we decided to let him wake naturally and demand food ... four-and-a-half hours was his natural cycle at that point.

 

[1st tym mummy]

congradulations and there isnt any signs i can think of except try askin to have him through the night and offering him a bottle once he is about 4 days old my lil girl was 5 and half weeks early weighing 5lb 11 oz and i hd to sty in hospital for nine days as long as he can hold his temperture at 36.5 to 37 degress and feeding well out of a bottle they will let you both go home however he has to go 48 hours with out a feeding tube or needing to have it put in here a tip though if he isnt waning a whole feed when you give him the bottle to start off with give him half and the other half 10 minutes ,ater i did it with my little one and with in two days of being on a bottle you wouldnt have thought she was an early baby or that she ever had a feeding tube she went mental over every feed you couldnt get her to stop but dont worry its fine as soon as yu and the lil one get home you wont believe how fast you will bond i never really bonded with mine or thought it as real until she was 5 months old as it all happened so quick