I Can't do this anymore....rant

[MyFirstNoodle]

Another BFN! I shouldn't be surprised.

NTNP since 2008...havent used any kind of birth control since then.

TTC and POAS since March.

Not even a tiny line...nothing!

I can't do this anymore. I'm only 21 and healthy I should be able to look at my DF and get pregnant. What did I do in my past life that was so wrong?
My family know i'm TTC and can't believe how long its taking.

I get a pain in my chest everytime I see only 1 line. What have I done wrong? Its not fair and I can't TTC the emotional pain every month is too much I can't think about ANYTHING but having a LO.

Really just feeling sorry for myself after testing.

 

[cooch]

You poor thing, it does get a bit much sometimes, doesn't it!!

I really don't know how the PCOS thing works, but have known plenty of women to get their BFP's. Have a good cry and do something nice for yourself. Its good you have your FS appointment soon. I would ask for an op to look and deal with your PCOS. I have endo (had). It never showed on any scans. I pushed for a laparoscopy and they found tiny bits of it. I would look into what ops can be done and push for them. x

 

[sarahlou1985]

sort of know how you feel. It never gets easier does it? Just becomes easier to manage. I stopped buying tests now, stopped temping, stopped symptom spotting everything but I still think about it all the time. I hate this time of year cos it seems everyone gets pregnant at christmas! You will get there and you are only young. These babas just like making us wait eh! But we will appreciate them soo much when they come and they will eventually know how desperately they were wanted xxx

 

[NellyVille]

You poor thing! It's horrible when the LTTTC depression gets you.
I'm the same as Sarahlou, I've stopped all symptom spotting, peeing on sticks - the lot. I was just driving myself crazy.
Had a lovely break from TTC over Christmas as I had my lap & dye booked for December 30th - but still had it in the back of my mind that maybe because we weren't trying we'd get pregnant and I wouldn't have to have the op (no such luck!!).
None of us have done anything wrong, none of us deserve to have to go through all this and we all completely understand what you're going through. Come on here, rant as much as you like but whatever you DO NOT lose hope xxxx

 

[skyler28]

after the amount of years me and hubby have been trying i stopped doing all the testing and looking for signs also. you have to otherwise you will drive your self into a state of depression which makes it a whole lot worse.

but never give up hope and have faith in your little eggies they will come through for you one day they just need a kick up the arse. its just finding out what you can use to give them a kick.


i think mine need a cattle prod or something

i know none of this makes you feel any better right now just hang on in there

 

[Wanting2BMom]

I think I have already driven myself to the point of no return. I to tried not to think about it during christmas and just think about all of things that I do have being greatful for that. Then my brother comes in with his 3month old baby and I fell in love with that baby but in the back of my mind I kept wondering what I did to be in this position. Just sitting here reading other stories like mine relating to all of you feeling like I have a real support system that truly understands me and how I am feeling all of the time is making me cry. I really am not alone.

 

[tonibzac]

It's a very challenging journey isn't it? I'm 24 and have no reason do far for not getting pregnant which kind of makes it harder. I don't pee on any sticks, I can't handle the let down anymore. My deal to myself is if I'm 15 dpo and my temp is higher than 37 degrees I will test, if not I don't even consider it xx

 

[NellyVille]

Very sensible tonibzac!
At first I felt like I was giving up a little but now I see I've done the right thing in trying to relax a bit, especially now it's got to the stage where it seems like we're unexplained (no blockages, no damage, no endo, good SA, definitely ovulating - blah blah blah).

Wanting - you're NEVER alone. xxxxxx

 

[MyFirstNoodle]

Thanks everyone! it just so stressful. No job/relationship could cause me as much stress as TTC does. Thank you for all your messages. I hope we all get our this year. Lots of baby

xxx

 

[Erin j]

I'm sorry Noodle. BFN's are the most disheartening things aren't they? I'm going to try to avoid it for awhile.

 

[Skoer1360]

I know exactly what you mean, I'm 23 but I have an LPD, DH went in for his SA just in case I should be able to get pregnant at the drop of a hat! I quite often think what have I ever done that made me deserve this? But infertility doesn't pick and choose who it goes to, it's not some force that says YOU ARE HORRIBLE. It is non judgemental who it ends up picking. Life honestly sucks sometimes and there's not much we can do except but on our brave face and try and move on from it.

I know that isn't much help... I just wanted to let you know you are not alone

 

[NellyVille]

I know exactly what you mean, I'm 23 but I have an LPD, DH went in for his SA just in case I should be able to get pregnant at the drop of a hat! I quite often think what have I ever done that made me deserve this? But infertility doesn't pick and choose who it goes to, it's not some force that says YOU ARE HORRIBLE. It is non judgemental who it ends up picking. Life honestly sucks sometimes and there's not much we can do except but on our brave face and try and move on from it.

I know that isn't much help... I just wanted to let you know you are not alone

It doesn't pick and choose who it goes to but sod's law dictates that it goes to the people that don't deserve it!!!